Saturday, August 4, 2007

I have a theory about Global Warming!

I have a theory about Global Warming. I've thought a great deal about this and I am convinced that it is true. And it is this: Children aged 2 to 3 add to Global Warming. Yes, they do. The pure combustible, laser hot, fevered chaos that erupts out of 2 & 3 year olds is dangerous. Not only to us. But, to our planet. Do you not think that the rage and grief exploding from our children damages the ozone layer? It certainly can be seen at my house. We haven't seen a blue sky in days. And the stars? Wiped off the face of the sky. I'm just stunned that Al Gore hasn't thought of this. I believe in Global Warming. It is a serious matter. Besides, I saw An Inconvenient Truth.

Of course, this is only my theory. But, somehow I can see parents lining up behind me on this one. Yes, our preschooler contributes to Global Warming! It could be a T-shirt. A slogan! Except that we can't hold our heads high over this one... Well, if you drive a Prius...maybe they cancel each other out. And although you've got the noise pollution factor with the kids, the cut in air pollution earns you enough points to call it a draw. There is obviously much, much to think about here. I better get on the phone and call Leonardo DiCaprio immediately. After all, his film The 11th Hour opens in a few days and maybe he could slip in my theory during a press release. Hey, it's worth asking.... And just think... if my theory holds up to scientific scrutiny...OOOOhhhhhh Maaannnn! Man, oh, Man! I WILL truy be a SUPERHERO MOM! Maybe I could even wear a costume..... An outfit without any evidence of leftover meals stuck on it! Oh, YES! I am going to be THE THANG!


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