We have recently been talking about babies. BOY and GIRL like to put their stuffed animals in their shirts and walk around:
Look, Mommy! Spotty is in my tummy, shouts BOY with a wide smile.
Mommy, I have Lamby in my tummy, giggles GIRL.
They are more aware. They notice women who are pregnant now. They ask them questions. Well, our local reporter BOY does:
You got a baby in there? Can I see it?
The moms are usually pretty good sports, luckily all have been truly pregnant so far, and many of them surviving the grand inquisition by small people at home as well.
GIRL likes to take everything in. She twirls the thoughts in her head for a while, then she takes her moment:
Mommy how do babies come out of there?
.....long, loooooong......LONGEST....OF.....PAUSES in which this particular Mommy tries not to remember how babies come out of there. She's only birthed once, and although worth it, she doesn't like to go there. But, since she does believe that children should be told the truth, unless clearly inappropriate, she whips up her linguistic skills.
Where do you mean GIRL? [hoping that by now GIRL has moved on to safer ground.]
How do babies come out of your tummy? asks GIRL.
Well, GIRL, there is hole between a lady's legs and the baby comes out ...there.
What is it called? [This is beginning to feel like a tennis match. Your serve, Mommy!]
A vagina. [Point. Set. Match. They will have scars from this conversation. For life. Up until this point they thought a vagina was just something different than a penis, and both without much of a purpose...except to pee.]
There is a symphony of high pitched giggles from the two car seats.
A VAGINA!!!! ....giggle...giggle....giggle...
GIRL, YOU have a VAGINA!!! shrieks BOY in a giggle fit.
So, Mommy, girls and ladies have vaginas and babies come out, states GIRL. [She who is always reassured by facts, and likes to stay on point.]
Well, GIRL, that is right. Girls and ladies do have vaginas, but LADIES HAVE BABIES. NOT GIRLS. [It is never too early to start the brainwashing.]
Can boys and men have babies? asks BOY. [Up until this point, I have taught him that men and women are equal.]
Well, BOY, they can be parents, but NO... only LADIES HAVE BABIES.
Why? asks BOY. [Apparently the match is not over. There is a tie breaker.]
Because only ladies have vaginas, I say. [Match?]
AND GIRLS! clarifies GIRL. [Point. Set. Match. Girl wins the tie breaker.]
And girls, I mutter....
Mommy, let's play I SPY!!! says BOY.
A segue! Thank GOD. Now I just hope that GIRL doesn't spy something PINK for a long, long time.....