Monday, August 11, 2008

Here's hoping the chocolate goes straight to my ass...


Thoughts upon climbing into bed...

Apparently getting rear ended is a perfect recipe for losing one's mind. Or bursting into tears, unexpectedly...while talking with a friend on the telephone about helping me with computer gizmos & such. Nothing like talk of linking a lap top to the printer to send one into paroxysms of tears. My poor friend didn't know what hit him. E predicts he will never come to our house again, let alone feel safe to come over and help us. I am quite sure he now pictures me writhing on the floor amidst tears and much gnashing of teeth.

I'm exhausted. And my emotions are skittering around like balls on a pool table. I just want to drop into the side pocket and sleep... A little safety net sounds good right about now. All will look better in the morning.

So...I'm going to curl into my pillows and devour the chocolate E brought me tonight...Ghirardelli's Milk & Caramel and a Hershey's Symphony Bar. Well, maybe not all of it...tonight, but a girl with a flat ass that got rear ended can use all the chocolate therapy she can get. Here's hoping the chocolate goes straight to my ass and plumps it up.

Thoughts later ...


Sleep makes everything much better. A husband who brings chocolate to his wife should be idolized. Chocolate may not go directly to desired location, but it helps. Except that ass is still flat. Advantage of flat ass: can perhaps squeeze through smaller spaces. Advantage of bodacious ass: poems are written about it. End result: Perhaps best to stop obsessing about asses and go to sleep...


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25 comments:

Kizz said...

If you still feel wonky administer more chocolate, STAT. Perhaps something in a dark, with mint or nuts (not both!) in it.

Mary Beth said...

There's not much that good chocolate and a little sleep can't cure. Having a husband who will bring you chocolate when you need it is icing on the cake. Feel better soon!

Kalynne Pudner said...

Dang - I forgot to check out your famous flat ass on Saturday night! Thanks again for setting it up...it really was a DREEEAM come TROOOOOOO (can't you see Tink weaving and waving her wand amongst the letters here?).

And your delayed reaction to the accident is perfectly normal. Perfectly.

happygeek said...

Umm I have enough booty to share.
For a small country.
Not all it's cracked up to be.

AMomTwoBoys said...

Chocolate & naps help everything. And the aftermath is somehow always harder than the actual event.

Deep breaths, my dear. This too shall pass!

Manic Mommy said...

Apropos of nothing but still kind of cool, chocolate releases the same hormones or endorphins or pheromones as love.

Keep eating and ....breathe....

Elizabeth said...

WOW, what a week. Oy.
You'll be in my prayers for a full recovery from the delayed heebie-jeebies. Not fun. Be back soon. Blessings, EJT

Angeline said...

*laugh* I'm small built but my ass is the only 'big' part of my body *laugh*

I'm a chocolate fanatic, its my daily vitamin (as if I'm always on the down side) but it does lift my spirits with every piece that goes into my mouth

phd in yogurtry said...

you are most welcome to come chisel off a piece of my ledge of rounded flesh! I agree about kneeling at the feet of husbands who bring chocolate.

sorry about your accident - as you say, grateful that noone is hurt. that's all that matters. cars are just pieces of metal carrying us place to place (and keeping us safe)

hope you have no aftershock of pain.

MamaGeek said...

My ass could beat up your ass.

Now then, pass that chocolate woman.

painted maypole said...

car accidents shake you up, emotionally. i get it

(and chocolate. mmmm...)

g said...

Aw. Sounds like E is just the
perfect guy.

So sorry about the weirdness of car accidents. It makes one jittery, I know.

C'mon over to my place, I have a thing going with some bourbon. It ain't Jack, but it's Hiram, and you might like it.

flutter said...

please take some of my ass. PLEASE

Nora Bee said...

I'm not really thinking clearly after you mentioned chocolate and caramel, but I am sorry for your accident and I know that feeling. Food is love, though. Fer sure.

Jennifer H said...

I'm happy to donate, too. No one's writing poems about mine, either, so it's not like you'd be destroying art or anything. So go ahead. Really. I'll just wait here...

Chocolate is good. And so is having such a thoughtful husband. (How nice is that???)

kim-d said...

I, too, would be most willing to share some of my ample ass with you. Because, hey, I'm just nice like that. In exchange, just one tiny square of your Symphony bar?

Lately I've kinda had a boob obsession. In that mine are no longer pointing in the right direction. I don't know what to make of it. Oh well, anything I can't explain, I just chalk up to menopause! At least, since you got rear-ended, it's logical--in a sort of twisted way :)--to obsess about asses.

And, oh, the unexpected crying. Fun, huh? Men will never understand. But as long as they come bearing chocolate, that's good enough. BWAHAHAHA!

I really, really hope you're feeling better...

Janet said...

Bless you, sweetie, that's just delayed reaction. It took me a week after the near rollover to lose it.
As to the bodacious ass? When you hit our age it's no longer an ass, but extra packing behind your knees. This will not stop me from eating chocolate however, which I'm now craving like an insane person because of the time of the month. I can't get enough sweets.

Take care and kudos to E for bringing the chocolate.

Janet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Janet said...

That deleted comment was me accidentally double-posting. Have I mentioned how much I HATE Windstream? Consider it mentioned.

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again--I will gladly give you some of my big ol' booty ;)

Kellan said...

I'm glad the chocolate and the nap did the trick! I could use some junk in my flat trunk too - tee hee!

Take care, J - see you - Kellan

merlotmom said...

Ohhh, I didn't read this until now...I'm way behind in reading blogs. I'm sorry you've had a tough time. My mother, a shrink, always says that stress comes out after the fact, when your defenses are down and you think you're "just fine". I find that to be very true. Car accidents are tough. I hope you're working through it. Chocolate is good, very, very, good.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

He's a keeper.

I once asked Mr. Fix-it to bring me a Snickers bar. He brought me Snickers ice cream because he just assumed that adding ice cream to Snickers made it better. Not so much, but I sure appreciated the gesture.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Feel better, k?

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Getting in a car accident is traumatic. I got rear ended when I was about 18 years old. It took me about 3 months to work up the courage to drive on the freeway again. And my accident wasn't even on the freeway.

Take your time, Sweetie.

xoxo

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