Wherever I turn these days, I run into another friend who is experiencing a rough patch in their marriage. Friction at best... talk of separation and hitting the skids...at worst. And sometimes that isn't the worst case. Some couples are just not meant to stay together. And some couples still love each other, but wonder what the hell happened to their partner. Is this the same person I fell in love with?! Who IS this person in my bed?
There comes a time when a couple has been married to each other for a while. A time full of life on the run with young children. And, kisses so fast in the morning you later wonder if your faces actually touched. Conversations started and stopped by the little engines that could, and can, interrupt you at every turn. Until, you stop trying. And you're depleted at the end of your days, so you each take to your corner of the world within the walls of the place you call home. Sometimes connecting in the dark, sometimes not.
The truth is that sustaining a marriage is hard work. And both partners have to be willing to come together and do the work. No one wants to admit that they've been contributing to the dirty laundry. But, you have to. You have to be a grown-up and be honest. With yourself most of all. And if you can do that, then you're more than half-way there...
****Painting titled: Gratefully Coerced by Charles Gumpert.