When we found out we were going to have a child, we decided that I would be a stay-at-home mom. It was something I wanted, and E wanted as well. I have been a SAHM now for 5 1/2 years. My former life in the work force feels very far away...
Some days here are tough and mind numbing. But, for those days, there are an infinite number that have brought delight and joy in seeing my children grow. In being here at home with them. I feel very confident in who I am as a mother. It is something I do well. And, I'm passionate about my job.
From the beginning we took a risk to move to one income. We've had an up and down ride. It's been very hard on our marriage. As it is on all marriages. Something has to change soon. We continue to tread water in the same pond, and it is unhealthy for all of us.
I wonder how much of our lives are ruled by fears. The fear of trying something new. A way of doing things that you haven't approached before. If crisis means... a crossroad, a turning point, a moment of truth. What happens if you can't find your truth? What happens if you don't want to see your truth? What happens if what seems to be the truth is untenable? What if you don't have the courage to step forward? Even tentatively. If you are paralyzed. Stuck. Trapped. And then another day goes by. And another. And the life you're living is not what you want. Or even one that you recognize. What then?