Tuesday, September 14, 2010

JCK is a bit adrift as she makes her way...


JCK believes in the power of chocolate before noon. Especially if the night before included a Jack O'clock segue. Yes, a sippin' whiskey followed by a chocolate slider cannot be topped right now. JCK needs her courage. Be strong, JCK! Be strong...

You see JCK is approaching a birthday year that has a 9 in it. And 9s have not been kind to JCK's being. In fact, there is not a birthday in her life that contained the number 9 that JCK can smile and say...oh, joy, now that was a GOOD birthday year!

Instead she remembers...

The year of turning 9, two schools (from Connecticut to Somalia), and too many introductions for a shy girl. Yes, JCK was once shy. Prone to the innocent blush, bane to her growing up existence. This was before fishnets. Thank the LORD.

Then there was 19. College drop out. Acting school. Life of hard knocks. Too many donuts, and massive amounts of food, stuffing down that awkward addition of another 9.

So, 29. Single in L.A. Acting. Not much. A dearth of good men. Time to reflect back and look forward. The LaLa was not full of many hahas.

At 39, JCK found herself married and apparently... barren. IUIs. IVFs. Zeros... The nest was empty. Just what is it all about, anyway?

.........and then yes, 49 will be slapping JCK across the face on Sunday. She is stunned from the pre-whiplash effect. Her life IS full. Two children who make her heart sing. But, she has helped them into their little people canoes, and they are paddling on their own now. They still return to shore, need her, always will...yet, they have strong limbs and sometimes don't even look back to wave.

JCK is a bit adrift as she makes her way... to her **GULP** 50th year. JCK needs chocolate. JCK needs whiskey. JCK needs to think about herself, as a separate being. And that is very hard... Especially when her fishnets are starting to droop.


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10 comments:

smalltownmom said...

It will be OK! But I'll join you in the chocolate.

I'm finding myself with unexpectedly long periods of time to myself...and I have to find something better to do than computer games.

Manic Mommy said...

No! This is our moment of freedom! Wave from the shore and blow kisses into the wind and remember they'll be paddling back to you at 3:00. Then go get a mani/pedi and realize the tide of nine has turned in your favor!

Bottoms up, my friend!

Meghan said...

Hi friend. Was just thinking about you and missing you. And LOOK! It's almost your birthday!

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with it, but I hope to be half as amazing (in spirit AND looks) as you when I hit 50.

Hope your day is fabulous. And if I lived closer, I'd come over with chocolate and whiskey.

xoxo

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

May this be the year the curse of the 9 is broken--and 49 be filled with the fabulousness you deserve.

Kate said...

I agree with Jenn; maybe this is your big year....going into the 50th year isn't so bad. Truly. I think that sound just dandy as I'm in my 57th year!

Truly, it's how you feel inside.
Your fishnets don't need to be saggy.

Cheers and Happy pre-Birthday wishes!

Aunt Snow said...

50 is the New Black!

You'll have a great year.

Just get a nice, sexy garter belt to hold up those sagging fishnets.

Here's to you!

Kizz said...

Might 49 be a bit weird? Sure! But the great thing about being in our 40s is that we're actually pretty fond of weird. So I do think it's prime time for the curse to break!

MamaJ said...

I am not quite 49 and the other night I looked at my ass and thought "now what am I going to do about THIS?" Growing wise and spreading wings is wonderful, and so why this regretful aging? It... just... is... And BTW I really hope I am one tenth as KICK ASS as JCK when I am staring 50 in the face.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

What Manic Mommy and Aunt Snow said!

Enjoy! I spent the last almost-twelve months at that number and they've been the best yet! Yours will be, too.

XO

Gina said...

Happy Birthday! I hope 49 is a fantastic year for you.

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