You really attract 'em, don't you?

So, yesterday I was innocently traversing the Trader Joe's aisle and was just reaching out for the cheddar cheese, when a man with a derby hat and scarf, bounded out of nowhere and said rather LOUDLY, "You shop JUST like a MOM!" I tried my best not to recoil from the onslaught, but was a bit taken aback. Bounding is the only way to describe it. Well, it was bounding and then almost like a slide into home plate, but he landed smack up against the brie. And yes, DERBY HAT. After checking to make sure my clothes hadn't been blown off by the mighty wind of his approach, I did manage to answer proudly, "Well, I am one" in my perky mom's voice. The man, practically doffing his hat and leaning into the cheese like he was going to stay a while, then launched into a monologue in which I think he said something about having been some kind of coach and how children always shouted out to their mothers in greeting, but never to their fathers. Truly, I had NO idea what he was talking about. But, being the polite MOM that I apparently am, I nodded along. Although, I was a little worried that he might erupt into a song and dance number at any minute. The energy and dramatic gestures that accompanied his words seemed almost as if he was auditioning for me.

Now let me just explain that these odd incidents with strangers are not new to me. No, it seems that I am and always have been a magnet for the eccentric, kooky characters of the world. Like bees to honey with me, as if I am the golden honey comb. Men, women, some ...I'm not quite sure of- all have one thing in common. They seem to find in me some kind of instant soul mate. It used to embarrass me. Because, for some...perhaps karmic reason a commonality among my "instant friends" is having a LOUD voice and approaching me within large crowds of people. So that everybody STARES. And also looks at me as if we are "together" and why are "we" being so LOUD?!

Then there is that other thing. Blushing. I know. I know! Blushing at 46 years old is really unreasonable and quite ridiculous. However, one's body doesn't always cooperate. And my body apparently thinks it is 13 and just budding. To empower myself, I tend to stay away from wearing white. Not becoming with a face of scarlet hue. But, by now I've pretty much accepted that I must have done something very bizarre in my previous life, hence I am everywoman to the masses, the confidante of strangers. Last time I looked, there was not a WELCOME sign on my ass. But, I can't bend as easily as I used to ...so, maybe it is hidden betwixt my cheeks.

When I got home from my interesting excursion to TJ's, I related the story to E. In all honesty, it was fun to reenact bounding across the room, sliding across the hardwood floor, swooshing my arms heavenward a la grande gesture, and exclaiming, "You shop JUST like a MOM!" E, was a little alarmed by my flamboyance, but hung in there.

You really attract 'em, don't you? was his opening.

Yes, E, I really do.

What exactly did he mean by that? E asked me.

I have NO idea, I said.

Was that supposed to be a good or a bad thing? E asked me. [Clearly he thought I would know the answers to these very important questions.]

Well, I've decided it was a good thing. The man seemed so gushy about me being a mom and all. But, I still can't figure out what it was that gave me away. Was it the 2%milk? The strawberry banana yogurt? Surely not the 1/2 & 1/2, or the 2 bags of romaine lettuce? It must have been when I hesitated over choosing the mild cheddar or the sharp. That must be it. That moment of indecision. A dead giveaway. Indecision. Apparently it SCREAMS "shopping just like a mom!"