Nuts like any other...

Mom, do you know what NUTS are?

...........................pause, pause

Yes, I do. Nuts are peanuts, almonds, walnuts...

No, no, Mom. Not THAT kind of nuts. BOY looks penetratingly at JCK. He is not fooled by her..."attempt" at vagueness.

What do YOU think nuts are, BOY?

Your penis.

Umm.....no. There ensued a discussion that involved serious medical terminology by JCK to her son ..."you know those things that are like little balls?"

BOY left the kitchen immediately. OK, I'm ready to go watch Eloise (DVD) now.

Apparently...TMI. BOY was ready to move on.



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Image from Google Images.

Russian women, beautiful Russian women just "waiting" to meet JCK?

JCK is amazed at the abundant panoply of magnificent and stupendous emails that veer off into her junk mail folder. Some of them are fabulous opportunities...to meet people. New friends! From Russia!

However, JCK is a bit confused. Did she sign up for some kind of...foreign exchange program? JCK likes to think of herself as friendly. Let's face it, JCK can be a bit...chatty. Even with people she has just met. So, perhaps the friendly vibe that JCK seems to emit...flies clear over to Russia. (It is to be noted that JCK does not live in Alaska where you can see Russia from your kitchen window, like a certain brunette with glasses, so the power of JCK's friendly vibe is impressive.)

Hark! Here's another one. Just dropped in. Double the pleasure. There are two. Squeal! Who is this email from? Anastasia. Anastaaaashaaa... Delicious. JCK has always LOVED that name. Mysterious. Think...Woman. Misunderstood. What does she have to say, this...Anastaaaashaaa.

Meet beautiful, adoring Russian Women today

Beautiful Russian Women are Waiting to Meet You.

*Sigh* JCK just LOVES beautiful women. She knows many. However, she doesn't have heaps of women friends who are just "waiting." In fact, JCK doesn't know innumerable women who have time to "wait" these days. JCK, herself, is quite busy. Purchasing men's midway briefs for her husband's birthday. No small task. Or, cleaning her office. Or, sending out a bazillion emails to Kindergarten parents as Parent Liaison to GIRL's class. Truthfully? JCK barely has time to breathe.

Could it be in Russia that women have time to "wait?" Perhaps they don't get all the "thrilling opportunity" emails that we get here in America? Why, we have... grocery games, discounts on ink, generic Viagra, online auctions we can trust, if we're lonely we have an app for that, or a hook up tonight, and JCK's personal favorites...emails from Big Daddy, someone named Ben, and Sgt. Irvin Brown.

Russian women, beautiful Russian women just waiting to meet JCK. OK. Truthfully? This excites JCK just a bit. Who wouldn't be excited about Russian women, beautiful Russian women, wanting to meet them?

JCK hates to hurt Anastaaaashaaa's feelings, but...JCK's life is full-up, just FULL-UP HONEY, with beautiful women. And, since JCK can still understand a smattering of French, and is bilingual in WHINE EASE spoken by small children, JCK just doesn't have time to learn Russian. Much as she would like to... Even though these Russian women are a click away, just "waiting" for JCK...



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This post is dedicated to E. Happy Birthday, E!

Happy 6th birthday, GIRL!

Dearest GIRL,

Today is your 6th birthday. You used to love PB & J, and now your favorite is cheese with mustard. You have a scattering of delightful freckles across your nose, and your hair is light brown touched with honey. When barefoot, you almost always walk around on your toes.

You are a good friend, and a loyal one. You are not afraid to stand up for what you believe is right. Even if no one else agrees.

Recently your daddy taught you how to ride a two wheeler. I've never seen a bigger smile than the one you wear when you fly by on your bicycle. It is joyous to watch you.

Your conversation is peppered with phrases like....

It actually was not that complicated.

We've read the first four Laura Ingalls Wilder novels together. And the entire Magic Tree House series, except for the latest one.

You are working on replacing "What?!" with "Pardon Me?" I smile every time I hear you say it.

You can be mercurial at times. You get frustrated with yourself easily, and don't like others to see you make mistakes. I wish you weren't so hard on yourself, and I try to work with you on that. But...I believe you were born a perfectionist. And, there are many good things about that.

You love challenges. And, you will do it again. And again. Until you get it. Right.
I love how you say good-bye to me sometimes. You wrap your legs around me, climbing me like a tree...and give me smooches.

You are the best(!) company there is. I love our conversations. Especially when I tuck you in at night, sitting on the edge of your bed, and we talk...about the day, about what is coming up in our week. The details soothe you, preparing you for sleep.

Your giggle is the best.

I knew you would love school, but now it's as if you have an inner glow. Your thirst for knowledge, and enthusiasm, is wonderful to see. The first Saturday after school began, you forgot it wasn't a school day and were dressed in your uniform and ready to go....

I love watching you with your brother. How much fun you have together. Your fights are more frequent now, but never last long. You can definitely hold your own.

I can do it myself! I am a BIG GIRL, mommy.

Yes, my little schnooks, you are a big girl.

I will sign off with what we always say to each other....I love you more than the moon and the stars. More than the universe... and green beans, and water slides, and buffalos, and ... blueberry muffins...

I am so blessed to have you as my daughter. So blessed...

Love,

Mommy

JCK is a bit adrift as she makes her way...

JCK believes in the power of chocolate before noon. Especially if the night before included a Jack O'clock segue. Yes, a sippin' whiskey followed by a chocolate slider cannot be topped right now. JCK needs her courage. Be strong, JCK! Be strong...

You see JCK is approaching a birthday year that has a 9 in it. And 9s have not been kind to JCK's being. In fact, there is not a birthday in her life that contained the number 9 that JCK can smile and say...oh, joy, now that was a GOOD birthday year!

Instead she remembers...

The year of turning 9, two schools (from Connecticut to Somalia), and too many introductions for a shy girl. Yes, JCK was once shy. Prone to the innocent blush, bane to her growing up existence. This was before fishnets. Thank the LORD.

Then there was 19. College drop out. Acting school. Life of hard knocks. Too many donuts, and massive amounts of food, stuffing down that awkward addition of another 9.

So, 29. Single in L.A. Acting. Not much. A dearth of good men. Time to reflect back and look forward. The LaLa was not full of many hahas.

At 39, JCK found herself married and apparently... barren. IUIs. IVFs. Zeros... The nest was empty. Just what is it all about, anyway?

.........and then yes, 49 will be slapping JCK across the face on Sunday. She is stunned from the pre-whiplash effect. Her life IS full. Two children who make her heart sing. But, she has helped them into their little people canoes, and they are paddling on their own now. They still return to shore, need her, always will...yet, they have strong limbs and sometimes don't even look back to wave.

JCK is a bit adrift as she makes her way... to her **GULP** 50th year. JCK needs chocolate. JCK needs whiskey. JCK needs to think about herself, as a separate being. And that is very hard... Especially when her fishnets are starting to droop.

All is well in Kinderland

Four days of Kindergarten, and we have a true love affair. GIRL is glowing with news and happiness at pick-up, and eagerly lines up for the start of her day. All is well in Kinderland.

BOY claims 1st Grade is great!

And, JCK? Well, she survived it with just a few tears...

It's complicated, this letting go...of your children

The golden shimmer of my son's hair is blinding in the sunshine; my daughter's touched with butterscotch tones. The summer light has bathed their skin in cafe au lait.

As we drift rapidly toward the start of school on Tuesday, we are savoring these last days. Happy Hour gatherings with friends, sipping ice cold cocktails, the air flavored with adult conversation. And the kids playing until they drop, tumbling into bed too exhausted for a bath. It's a little slice of parental heaven.

This last week has been full of hours spent at the pool. BOY launching himself off the spring board to fly over the deep water, suffused with "BIG KID" status. GIRL spending time perfecting her freestyle and side-breathing technique, interspersed with swimming underwater through my legs, popping up and kissing me.

There are times when I can't get enough of my children grabbing me for a quick hug or kiss. And other moments when I feel that I can't take another hand on me, asking for anything, even when it is offered in innocent sweetness.

It reflects the push and pull of this period of time for me. My youngest, my GIRL, is off to Kindergarten. There will be no preschooler at home. Differing commitments to manage, and new changes in my daily rhythm. I embrace the acceleration, yet... the speed at which my children are growing is a constant reminder of the wisps of time.

Their waged battles are fiercer, yet the hours of creative play together are a gift. For me. For them.

I am so excited for GIRL, who is counting the days until school starts. She is ready, and it is exhilarating to see. She spent over 20 minutes trying on uniform combinations one morning, picking out what she will wear on the 1st day of Kindergarten.

This week BOY muttered the infamous phrase...I am BORED! I see it as a good sign that he's ready for the start of school, too.

As for me? Most of the time I feel ready now, too. More than ready. And, then I take a big breath and breathe in a slew of feelings. It's complicated, this letting go...of your children.