in-between breaths, and doubts

 Hot feet finding solace on the cool tile floor. Chilled glasses of iced tea with mint. Stretching out on the bed in front of the air conditioner. Loose, flowing skirts that float over sun kissed skin. It is summer.  How quickly the weeks pass... mimicking the fast growing limbs of my children.

Days filled with work, camp, beach trips, and family improvement projects. The four of us clustered together on the couch watching the Summer Olympics - my 7 and 8 year old engaged in patriotic spirit. All sit in awe of the athletic prowess and magnificence moving across our television screen.

Those are the easy times. 

It is the raw, full, in-your-face moments of parenting that challenge me. My "inside voice" falls on deaf ears, and I wonder which time it will be when I  repeat myself, yet again...and again, FOR THE FINAL WARNING that will be the one leading to madness. There is too much screaming by everyone. All culpable. Some capable of better. Some still learning.

 Do the neighbors have ear plugs?  Or, should we open the front door and take a bow. This is what goes through my mind in-between breaths, and doubts.

I need a few solo moments in a hammock with a cool breeze...and the sound of my own heartbeat -before I am tumbled into the grass once again, by the raucous, undeniable blessings that are my children.

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