A month ago JCK's cozy little world was turned upside down. Her sweet 7 year old boy came home and uttered the completely unexpected, yet dreaded phrase... Mommy, I know what the "F" Word is. Henceforth known in the Motherscribe household as the day the world was tossed asunder or Oh, GOD, NOOO...not the "F" Word.
JCK would like to say that she behaved like a grown-up parent. Calm, cool, collected, and unruffled when her son spoke those words. Mommy, I know what the "F" Word is. Indeed, not.
JCK did everything wrong. First she feigned ignorance.
BOY! That is a BAD, BAD word. BOY, I NEVER, never, NEVER want to hear you say that word again.
JCK panicked. JCK overreacted. Because...Oh, GOD NOOOO...her son had uttered the "F" word.
That word. Yes. The "F" Word.
BOY, where in the WORLD did you learn that word? This is NOT a word that you can say, BOY. This is a BAD word, BOY. A bad, bad, baaaaad word.
As JCK volleyed this out of her overworking mouth, she realized that she was inciting what every parent in the trenches knows...that once you give weight and issue to the word the child is not supposed to say...they will do the very thing you wish them not to do. They. Will. Say. It. Again and again.
But, what do you do when the "F word" is brought to you by a child. Your child. And he is 7. Seven years old!
JCK's heart plunged to the very depths when this happened. Somehow she felt that her little boy was forever changed by uttering these words. JCK was wont to tears and over dramatics.
JCK's husband was kind enough to point out that BOY may be uttering the word, but he did not have any idea what he was actually saying. Unlike JCK who by now was a wild echo of FUCK within her own mind. This reassured her for about 5 minutes, and then she started wildly texting her friend.
Urgent. Must talk. Call me. Need advice.
Then JCK desperately dialed her friend and left a voicemail:
JCK's friend was reassuring. It will be O.K. It really WILL.
But, but...what if he teaches it to another boy. And that parent finds out...and never wants BOY to come over to their house AGAIN. Ever.
I don't think that is going to happen, JCK.
So, JCK didn't do either of those things. Instead she took a deep breath and hoped for the best. JCK became calmer. She tried not to put any more weight upon it than she already had.
But then...there was Christmas. And they were journeying to JCK's mother's home to spend it with family. JCK fretted. She gnashed her teeth. She could just imagine BOY blurting out the "F word" at a most inappropriate time. Like during the blessing at dinner.
God, I love my whole family. And, I'd like to thank you for the "F word." Amen.
JCK's luck held. No mention of the "F word" came up during the stay at her mother's. BOY was so distracted by Christmas itself, and with a houseful of cousins and fun activities with his grandparents, that the word burning a fiery hell hole in JCK's stomach didn't come up.
JCK, herself, is trying various parenting tactics. Among them: sticking her fingers in her ears and singing loudly LA, LA ,LA...I DON'T HEAR YOU...I DON'T HEAR YOU....
JCK would like to point out that the amount of excess verbiage her children are exposed to these days is in the extreme. One can be watching "How it's Made" , and during a commercial break get advice on how "to make it." Yes, you no longer have to suffer if you just take this pill. You, too, will once again be enjoying life in an upperwardly mobile ...direction.
JCK is waiting. She knows it is going to happen. And when it does, she will be ready for him. It is just a matter of time. Her son will read the TV screen and say...
Mommy, what is Erectile Dysfunction?
And JCK will say: Go ask your Daddy!
JCK would like to dedicate this post to her friend H.