I started walking a few months ago. Inspired by my sister-n-law, who has been walking for a few years, it has become time carved out for me. Whether listening to NPR's The Ted Radio Hour or The Story or This American Life, the stories inspire and energize me, and I traverse for greater distances than I first imagined. With my headphones on, I am in my own insular, intellectually stimulating bubble...without interruptions. For a mother, this IS sacred space. What started as a "should do," has evolved into a "have to do" for my own personal sanity. It has become much more than a routine, but a way of being that is necessary and natural. I love the feel of my muscles connecting- the rhythm and cadence of moving my own body forward ...heel to toe, heel to toe.
I don't remember a time in recent past where I've been so ready to shed the previous year and all the baggage it contained. I still struggle with the concept that life is challenging, that this is normal, and that it will continue to be so for the rest of my life. I have spent much of my life longing for some kind of end to witnessing and feeling pain. The rigors and whip lash effects of daily life have made me yearn for life to go down a little easier, like butter on toast- often looking ahead or back with a repetitive WHAT IF???...That if my life was more together, it would morph into a steady happiness. But, that kind of life would be mind numbing and ruinous. Wouldn't it?
Having a better life is not necessarily an easier life. More choices, more unknowns - more knowns and more expectations. To use walking as an analogy, I debate within myself whether having a destination is essential to our being. As I learn and grow on this path called life, I believe it is vital to have a destination that leads to another and another. The act of walking has opened me up in ways I had not imagined. And, with it has come the realization that the end goal can be to circle back home...
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That's some good writing. And good thinking.
ReplyDeleteHow I would love to walk with you and discuss all this and more! I am someone who is always reaching, wanting more, (or less of certain things!) but also happy. Maybe that is just our nature, as a woman? Men seem such simple, easily contented beings, but maybe they just don't verbalize it the way we do? Anyway, I hope you continue to carve out time for yourself to walk, and that 2014 brings you much joy and contentment, my friend!
ReplyDeleteThat really does say it--having a better life is not necessarily an easy life. 2013 seems to have made a bumpy exit for many people.
ReplyDeleteWhen my previous dog died I started to unravel a little mentally. Some of that was grief but it went on long enough that I needed to figure out what was up. I finally realized that my daily walks with her when I didn't have on headphones or the TV blaring and when I was just keeping my eyes open to our surroundings had been my meditation. When she died it just dropped off like a brick and I hadn't had a thought toward replacing it. I walked friends' dogs until I was ready for a new dog and now he and I do our wanders together and he makes me crazy in different ways but he gives me my meditation to balance it.
ReplyDeleteYou speak the truth here, oh wise one.
ReplyDeleteyes this is true I go there and see it. It is just amazing you can see this.. SEO expert
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