The rhythm of my days are stretched taut like an overwrought violin. I have bitten off more than I can chew this time. The moments of calm within the cacophony of "Must Do's" are scarce, but tantalizing. Sometimes I don't recognize myself cloaked in stress overdrive. When the world stops spinning -by snuffling my nose into my 7 year old daughter's round cheek of bliss, or, threading my fingers through my son's golden hair, I am reminded to breathe - and to be here, in the here and now. These two, these sweet children deserve better than my frazzled mom-who-is-trying-to-do-too-much can deliver.
What is it about me that finds life such a struggle?
This time will pass and my children will no longer be 7 and 8. Their limbs lengthening, their longing for mommy will move on to other longings. To have space and carved out time for themselves. The days of lullabies and good-night kisses, full body hugs and tickles...will be replaced by other, more evolving needs.
So, here I sit -not as a task of self-flagellation, for I can do that. But, to recognize that it is the here and now that is calling to me. Work is work. But, life is LIFE. In all it's splendid glory, screeching tantrums to inescapable snuggles. Secrets held until lights out and slipped into the darkness like little gems. Mommy, remember when.... Mommy, one more song.... Mama, can we play together tomorrow...
There are tomorrows and then there are...tomorrows. It is important to grab them, hold them tight, but with a looseness that bodes joy and delight for all...
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