We've come a long way, baby...

At the very, very...last minute, just when our schedules couldn't take one more activity...E.K. and I decided to sign up our children for baseball. BOY played T-ball a couple of years ago, which was somewhat of a disaster. Between lack of focus and interest, it was rather torturous for him and his parents... There was a lot of cloud watching and playing in the infield dirt.

But, this year seemed a good time to introduce GIRL to team sports, and for BOY to have another chance now -when he's more developmentally ready. They had a chance to play together on the same team, with friends, and with coaches - dads that they knew. It has been a walloping, whooping, baseball love fest - for all. BOY is playing catcher and enjoying it. GIRL, well...my GIRL is loving it! And, she is kicking ass! A couple of weeks ago she hit the ball so hard she dented the bat. Damn...GIRL!

When I was a child there were sports and then there were "Girl Sports." They were not the same. The expectations of girls' abilities and talents were often less than what was expected out of boys.Girls were not thought to have the stamina, drive or force to be engaged in athletic pursuits. The lines between the sexes were very clear.

Kids sports have changed a lot. There are 3 girls on the baseball team and their abilities and talents are equal, at this age, with their male teammates. The girls do not sit off to the side. They are not mocked by the boys on the team. They are all in it together.  It is a normal and beautiful thing.

I can't help but think how this will help them as future men and women - that at some point in their lives they played on the same team ...and they were equals. We've come a long way, baby...

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What is it about me that finds life such a struggle?

The rhythm of my days are stretched taut like an overwrought violin. I have bitten off more than I can chew this time. The moments of calm within the cacophony of "Must Do's" are scarce, but tantalizing. Sometimes I don't recognize myself cloaked in stress overdrive. When the world stops spinning -by snuffling my nose into my 7 year old daughter's round cheek of bliss, or, threading my fingers through my son's golden hair, I am reminded to breathe - and to be here, in the here and now. These two, these sweet children deserve better than my frazzled mom-who-is-trying-to-do-too-much can deliver.

What is it about me that finds life such a struggle?

This time will pass and my children will no longer be 7 and 8. Their limbs lengthening, their longing for mommy will move on to other longings. To have space and carved out time for themselves. The days of lullabies and good-night kisses, full body hugs and tickles...will be replaced by other, more evolving needs.

So, here I sit -not as a task of self-flagellation, for I can do that. But, to recognize that it is the here and now that is calling to me. Work is work. But, life is LIFE. In all it's splendid glory, screeching tantrums to inescapable snuggles. Secrets held until lights out and slipped into the darkness like little gems. Mommy, remember when.... Mommy, one more song.... Mama, can we play together tomorrow...

There are tomorrows and then there are...tomorrows. It is important to grab them, hold them tight, but with a looseness that bodes joy and delight for all...

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