We've come a long way, baby...

At the very, very...last minute, just when our schedules couldn't take one more activity...E.K. and I decided to sign up our children for baseball. BOY played T-ball a couple of years ago, which was somewhat of a disaster. Between lack of focus and interest, it was rather torturous for him and his parents... There was a lot of cloud watching and playing in the infield dirt.

But, this year seemed a good time to introduce GIRL to team sports, and for BOY to have another chance now -when he's more developmentally ready. They had a chance to play together on the same team, with friends, and with coaches - dads that they knew. It has been a walloping, whooping, baseball love fest - for all. BOY is playing catcher and enjoying it. GIRL, well...my GIRL is loving it! And, she is kicking ass! A couple of weeks ago she hit the ball so hard she dented the bat. Damn...GIRL!

When I was a child there were sports and then there were "Girl Sports." They were not the same. The expectations of girls' abilities and talents were often less than what was expected out of boys.Girls were not thought to have the stamina, drive or force to be engaged in athletic pursuits. The lines between the sexes were very clear.

Kids sports have changed a lot. There are 3 girls on the baseball team and their abilities and talents are equal, at this age, with their male teammates. The girls do not sit off to the side. They are not mocked by the boys on the team. They are all in it together.  It is a normal and beautiful thing.

I can't help but think how this will help them as future men and women - that at some point in their lives they played on the same team ...and they were equals. We've come a long way, baby...

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I love you more than the Universe

Dearest GIRL,

Last week you turned 7. You said it best...Mommy, I think my body is growing so much because it knows I'm about to turn 7.

I can never express how proud I am of you. Each day you are open to see what you can accomplish. You reach high and usually succeed. Your tenacity and willingness to try it again will serve you well in life. I admire your spirit and how you never give up.

You have an old soul that is visible in your eyes and spirit. You often seem much older than your age. Sometimes I forget... I treasure our conversations and your curiosity about life. You ask lots of questions, and sometimes the answers you receive are not enough. You have to ask more questions until you are satisfied.

You have a fiery temper. Sometimes it is hard to reach you, because you are so angry. But, after you have had your space to cool down, and when you are ready to talk it through, the anger passes. One of the things that infuriates you is when something isn't fair. I wish that life was fair, my love, but it isn't. However, there is one thing I do know. If there is a way to make things fair in a situation, you will do it.

I love how you stand up for yourself, and are not swayed by your peers. If you don't agree with something a friend is doing, you bow out. You are learning how to do this gracefully.

In addition to your writing notebook that you keep in your back pack, you have started keeping a diary. I love how you go to your room, close the door and take the time to write down your thoughts. I hope that you will always take that time for yourself. It is important.

You've assimilated so easily into our new schedule with extended days after school. I wasn't sure how it would be for you, but you've greeted the new change with your usual eagerness. When I pick you up, you run across the field or the parking lot or the cafeteria - wherever you are, you run...shout MOMMY!!! and throw your arms around me. It is the best greeting in the world.

I love how you are not caught up in our media culture. You don't yearn to be a rock star or wear the latest fashions. You aren't afraid to get dirty when you play, and you love to dress up for something special. You are confident in yourself. I hope you will always have it. It is something special.

During your birthday shower at school, you told me one of your friends said, "I like how you are always caring about other people." How lovely that another 1st grader has that perception about you. You have the ability to be friends with everyone. And, that is admirable.

You are busy with many things this year...Choir and Daisy Scouts and Ballet. I sat back and watched you last night at your first Daisy Scouts meeting. You jumped right in with your usual excitement. I took in your beauty - your brown hair flying out as you danced, your swirling skirt and long legs, and your radiant smile. And, I was full.

You are still saying that you want to be a Kindergarten Teacher when you grow up. Whatever it is that you decide to do, everyone around you will be the better for you being in their lives.

I love you more than the Universe, the stars, banana splits, mustard, hot dogs, artichokes, boomerangs and of course up to the moon and back. You are my schnooks, always. I treasure you, and feel lucky every day to have you as my daughter.

Love,

Your Mommy

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Tell me about the week, Mama.

My daughter and I have a ritual. After lights out, I sit on her bed in the dark and we talk about the upcoming week. She likes me to go over each day, telling her what is planned, what may happen, and what could be. GIRL is not big on surprises. She loves her life carved out in orderly pieces, with dashes of spontaneity.

Sunday night was such a night. We were at my mother's house, so she was sleeping in a big bed. I was able to lie next to her, both of us quietly breathing in the dark.

Tell me about the week, Mama.

And, I did.

We arrived at Tuesday, the first day of 1st grade.

Would you like me to walk you to your classroom on Tuesday, GIRL?

Yes, Mommy.

There was a sigh in the dark. Both of us, in synch, thinking very different thoughts.

Mommy, do parents get to stay for the morning on the first day in 1st grade, like they did in Kindergarten?

I don't think so, GIRL.

OK. Then I don't want you to volunteer on Tuesday.

Would you like to have the day to yourself, so that you can tell me about it?

Yes! And, after Tuesday, you can volunteer whenever you want to! But, not on Tuesday.

O.K., my little schnooks.

I kissed the soft baby hair that falls across my daughter's forehead, and said Good Night.

How can this little girl be so wise?

And, then came yesterday...

I was fine until GIRL lined up with all the children outside the classroom, and GIRL's teacher told the parents to give their child a hug and a kiss good-bye. It was time. Everyone knew it, but me. I hugged my GIRL tight, and let go... Then I walked away. She was ready, but my sunglasses didn't quite make it back over my wet eyes...

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Their hands are still small, and reach for hers

The signs are there when she sees them. Her children choosing to read books on a long car ride, instead of constant chatter. The muscles in her daughter's small calves, her long legs strong enough to do a 1 1/2 mile hike. Her son opening a door for her, an experiment in manly manners that she hopes will stick.

The car seats will find new homes; friends with younger children. The sandbox is moving out. The beat-up play structure is next. Plans for an active outdoor space - a trampoline, a large punching bag, over sized pillows to jump on.

Her daughter can read aloud now, intent on each word, frustration flaring if she doesn't grasp it at once. She tries to encourage her to take it in smaller syllables, sounding them out. Hard for her girl who likes to achieve...quickly.


Her son comes up to her chest, more than half her height. He's not tall, but neither is she. He shies away from hard work, which scares her a bit. Visions of adolescence, a handful of years ahead, and her failings, if he doesn't get the value in hard work.

Winter clothes divided between those that will not see another season, and those that will. Donations, throw-aways, one treasured shirt saved. Spring clothes taken out of storage bins, the bright colors welcoming in their newness.

Her son, the little rooster, sleeps in later now. Yet, still up with the sun. His sister with the gift of deep sleep. She, not waking when he chats himself to sleep, nor when he wakes up with the gift of gab in the light of a new day.


In her quest and burning desire to have a family, she did not understand that having children is a young person's game. The wisdom of age stretches...yet, the energy of youth cannot be overstated. She hopes her children will not remember her as tired, because often she is...

Their hands are still small, and reach for hers. Her lap still big enough, if their heads are tucked into the side of her neck. Bedtime not complete without being tucked-in, a lullaby song...trailing off. Their soft cheeks forever emblazoned on her lips...

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The elusive Chorister Star

A year ago, we withdrew BOY from choir, because his impulse control was such that he couldn't participate. It was a relief for all of us.

For myself, as my heart ached to see him unable to keep his body in his seat, or not speak out whenever a thought popped into his head that he wanted to share. For GIRL, as she worried about BOY, and it affected her enjoyment of choir. And, perhaps most important of all, it was a relief for BOY. After a full day of Kindergarten, a choir class in which he was required to do things he wasn't capable of doing made him feel bad, because he knew he couldn't do it. Then.

This fall he and I decided he was ready to try again. Oh, the growth! It's been such a joy to see him participate fully with his friends. And, to watch how proud he is of his hard work. And, he told me...Mom, it's REALLY hard work.

Not the singing, or the accompanying with the small instruments. No, the hard work is keeping his body still and following the rules.

The choir teacher is a hard task master. But, she's an amazing artist, and all of the choirs she directs are phenomenal. BOY & GIRL love being with their friends and learning the music.

Each week three students are rewarded with The Chorister Star. It recognizes their good listening, keeping their bodies where they are supposed to be, and participating fully.

Yesterday, BOY earned his first Chorister Star. He was so proud! At the end of class he came running up the stairs, made a beeline for me, and proudly stuck out his chest to show me the elusive Chorister Star.

He's wanted it for a long time. Ever since last year, when for the 3 weeks we did choir, all he wanted was the Chorister Star.And, there were tears each week, because he didn't have one. Now he's got one! What a lovely symbol of his maturation.

After class, one of the women expressed excitement, yet surprise that BOY had earned a star. I wouldn't have thought that possible, she said. For a moment I was angry. Then I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude. Because, I am his mother. And...I believe in him. All the way....

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Thinking outside the box. It is how you are made.

Dear BOY,

Today is your 7th birthday. You continue to inspire me with your huge spirit of good will. You woke up this morning with a smile on your face. IS IT TIME TO OPEN MY PRESENTS!!? It was 6:15am. Of course...You've always been my little Rooster.

When it was finally time to wake your sister (6:50am), you went in to receive your birthday hug. I'm going to open your present FIRST, GIRL! She then bolted out of bed to quickly get the card and her present to you organized.

Wow, how did you make your letters so fancy, GIRL? That is really nice. You are the best sister in the world. And you hugged her again...

You are well loved. Always by your mommy & daddy, and so deeply by your sister.

I see you handling your frustrations better, just in the last week! This morning, when you found out your new remote control car couldn't be used right away...because the battery had to charge for 8 hours. And then ...when we were right in the middle of building your Star Wars Lego project, and had to stop because a piece is missing. Both times you handled it so calmly. I was a bit stunned.

As is always true right before you have a birthday, you seem to go through growing pains...challenging us at every turn. But, then it shifts. Even through those tough times, your heart beams through. You are a happy boy.

Your imagination continues to soar. I have no doubt that someday you will be some kind of creative inventor/thinker/builder. Thinking outside the box. It is how you are made.

Yesterday, I loved what you said to the dentist when he told you that you looked like a young Leonardo dicaprio, with that (impossibly, thick) blond hair and those big blue eyes (the color of the sky.) He said, BOY, maybe you'll be an actor. And you said, naah...I'm going to be a Lego Designer.

I love you with all my heart.

Love,

Mommy

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my Flying Fish

In the beginning she clung to me. I was her ship at sea. We took swimming class together, so that she could be with me. Ever cautious of strangers, she refused to swim from me to the swimming teacher. Even though she could...

That first time she swam away from me to someone else was a victory. For us both! When she returned to my arms, she wrapped herself around me, but the newly gained confidence was in her eyes.

Then she gradually inched away, to sit on the "floating duck pad" with the other children, and to paddle a couple of feet to the teacher and back to me. Each week she grew more and more comfortable.

Then, it was time for her to take a swimming class without me. It was hard... She cried the first couple of lessons. The teacher was male, and she was used to a female teacher. He let me sit off to the side, so she could see me close by. A few lessons in, she was able to let me go to the waiting room. She could see me watching her through the glass.

She was a great student. Her focus and determination quite extraordinary.

She continued to have challenges along the way. Not with swimming, but with change. A different teacher. A different time. Any change would throw her.

She quickly joined her brother's class. They progressed together.

A few months ago it shifted. She started advancing past him. Now she is two levels ahead. Sometimes it is awkward. Usually not. BOY knows that swimming is GIRL's thing.

My little tadpole is now my Flying Fish! She is the youngest in her class. Only two levels away from pre-competition.

I am letting her steer this journey. I am there by her side, in the buffer zone. She is aiming for the swim team. I am so proud of her.

Some days, as I watch her saunter away from me, in her bathing cap and goggles, I can just...glimpse the tiny girl who clung to me, only to me, in the pool...


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JCK is participating in NaBloPoMo, (30 posts in 30 days), for the month of November.

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Happy 6th birthday, GIRL!

Dearest GIRL,

Today is your 6th birthday. You used to love PB & J, and now your favorite is cheese with mustard. You have a scattering of delightful freckles across your nose, and your hair is light brown touched with honey. When barefoot, you almost always walk around on your toes.

You are a good friend, and a loyal one. You are not afraid to stand up for what you believe is right. Even if no one else agrees.

Recently your daddy taught you how to ride a two wheeler. I've never seen a bigger smile than the one you wear when you fly by on your bicycle. It is joyous to watch you.

Your conversation is peppered with phrases like....

It actually was not that complicated.

We've read the first four Laura Ingalls Wilder novels together. And the entire Magic Tree House series, except for the latest one.

You are working on replacing "What?!" with "Pardon Me?" I smile every time I hear you say it.

You can be mercurial at times. You get frustrated with yourself easily, and don't like others to see you make mistakes. I wish you weren't so hard on yourself, and I try to work with you on that. But...I believe you were born a perfectionist. And, there are many good things about that.

You love challenges. And, you will do it again. And again. Until you get it. Right.
I love how you say good-bye to me sometimes. You wrap your legs around me, climbing me like a tree...and give me smooches.

You are the best(!) company there is. I love our conversations. Especially when I tuck you in at night, sitting on the edge of your bed, and we talk...about the day, about what is coming up in our week. The details soothe you, preparing you for sleep.

Your giggle is the best.

I knew you would love school, but now it's as if you have an inner glow. Your thirst for knowledge, and enthusiasm, is wonderful to see. The first Saturday after school began, you forgot it wasn't a school day and were dressed in your uniform and ready to go....

I love watching you with your brother. How much fun you have together. Your fights are more frequent now, but never last long. You can definitely hold your own.

I can do it myself! I am a BIG GIRL, mommy.

Yes, my little schnooks, you are a big girl.

I will sign off with what we always say to each other....I love you more than the moon and the stars. More than the universe... and green beans, and water slides, and buffalos, and ... blueberry muffins...

I am so blessed to have you as my daughter. So blessed...

Love,

Mommy

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It has been a school year without CRISIS

In two days my son will say good-bye to Kindergarten. My BOY with the golden hair, sweet smile and eyes the color of corn flowers. He will race into summer, arms flung wide, face uplifted to the sun, legs moving. He is an explorer, my boy, and summer beckons with the lure of adventure ahead.

It's been a good year for BOY. We are blessed to have had a school that not only allows him to shine, but encourages it. It has been a school year without CRISIS. There have been some challenges, some ups and downs ...but, we're ending the year on a high note.

The BOY who had a speech delay is reading at a mid-second grade level. The BOY who struggled to hold a pencil is writing short sentences. The BOY who has had no interest in drawing is creating some kick ass art work...when he wants to.

He continues to entertain us with the stories he weaves from his imagination. Someday I hope he'll write them down.

So, we close another door. But, I can't wait to see what's behind the next one...

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then ...letting go of me

Today is GIRL's final day of preschool. Last night we talked together, in what is fast becoming our nightly ritual. GIRL snuggles down under her covers, I switch off the light, and sit on the edge of her bed. The darkness cocoons us, inviting thoughtful conversation about her day, or what adventures lie ahead. This time we spoke of the last day to come, our voices rising and falling in the excitement of celebrations with friends, and the sadness of a life chapter being closed.

I feel so blessed that she has had this last year - to grow and stretch, to soar in social confidence. She looks eagerly ahead, ready for Kindergarten. I rejoice in how she embraces each day, and know that there are many good times to come.

Yet, it is bittersweet...and I am savoring each moment.

As I hugged her good-bye this morning, she pulled me over into the sand... laughter spilling out of her in waves.

THAT was funny! she shrieked, then ...letting go of me, running off to play.

Our children are often ready to move on ... before we are.


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"Heaven Sent" sculpture from The Sculpture Gallery.

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It is the year of GIRL's blossoming

It was GIRL's night, Thursday night. A scrumptious delight of my little girl in ballet costume, hair in "ballet bun," and bright smile. She had her first recital, an evening performance, and she loved it! My little girl in a pink swirly dress, dancing in The Little Nutcracker. Perhaps best of all was sitting up front with BOY, as he watched his sister, calling out to her as she was exiting the stage....

HI, GIRL!

And, she frowning, and then chopping her hand down through the air, as if to say...HUSH, BOY, THIS IS SERIOUS. I'm on stage!

It is the year of GIRL's blossoming. I see it at school. At home. In all aspects of her life. It is precious. And, I feel blessed that she has this year before Kindergarten. One more year of lunching regularly together. I sense the time going by, and am holding on to the moments as best I can....

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"At Play" sculpture from The Sculpture Gallery.

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Page after page was turned

We tucked into the couch, he and I, for a good read. Go, Dog. Go! - by P.D. Eastman. And, the blond haired boy with big, blue eyes began to read. To me. Page after page was turned. Until the end.

This BOY who has had some challenges, is now in the advanced reading group in his Kindergarten class. He is being recognized for his strengths.

My BOY is reading. Let the fun begin!



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Book cover photo courtesy of Google Images.

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It was a bit like trying to move forward with someone going sideways

I have a Kindergartner. My small, ever growing BOY. The one with the hair of golden wheat and blueberry eyes. Yesterday was his first day, and he was so nervous. I don't know if I played up Kindergarten too much, or whether that is just where he went in his head. I was surprised. He didn't want to get out of bed, and poked around endlessly. Suddenly a cookie box must be made into a rocket...on the way to getting in the car. Finally, once we were on the way, he started to relax.

When we got to school, he wanted to wear his backpack. Then...NO. Maybe...his backpack was too heavy. It was a bit like trying to move forward with someone going sideways. Yet, once we reached the entrance he was ready to go to the classroom and see his friends from last year. In the classroom he immediately sat down with his buddy. I watched him for a bit, took a few pictures, and then GIRL and I hugged him good-bye and ...left. We surprised BOY with brownies topped with star candles last night. The marking of a new beginning.

Today was better, but the eagerness to be at school is overshadowed by the newness of Kindergarten. And the growing knowledge that "Kinder" is different from preschool.

BOY: In Kindergarten there is no playing inside, just outside.

My heart ached a little when he said that. Perhaps because his perception has truth. He is past preschool now. And more will be expected of him each year. He has begun the journey through school. Sometimes a hazardous path. Hopefully matched with lots of unexpected excitement for him along the way.

The teacher, according to BOY, talks too much. Ahem... This from a BOY who rarely stops talking.

My favorite moment in the last two days was watching BOY grab a new boy's hand and then join hands with another buddy. BOY, central, between them. The bridge between friends old and new...

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Now, I am listening for the sound of Fairy Wings...

Dearest GIRL,

I have shared in your excitement over the last two days. Yesterday, when I picked you up from your friend's house, and you rushed at me, face tilted up to mine, eyes sparkling like jewels. You could barely contain your news. The world was different, now. A loose tooth! Your little finger maneuvered the tiny tooth, and I could see it, wobbly in your small mouth. How proud you were, of this unexpected event. And, I too gasped in wonder.

Then today, as we blew each other silly kisses, your fingers tapped your mouth, and ...the sweet, teeny tiny baby tooth popped out! You placed it in a small plastic bag, and kept it in the pocket of your dress for the rest of the day. Occasionally you would take it out, and we would look at it. Again. Yet, it is your lovely mouth that I am drawn to, the almost rectangular gap that appears in your lower jaw. As if a window looking out, ahead, at who you will grow into...

Ever so carefully you placed it atop a Kleenex on your bed, in anticipation of the Tooth Fairy. Then, as you picked up your pillow, a breeze slipped underneath the Kleenex and flipped the tooth right off the bed. I don't remember the last time my heart fell so hard. We managed to find a flashlight, and found a few small white things under the bed. But, no tooth... Both of us moaning, near tears at this point, yet I was determined to find your tooth. It was not until I looked up from the floor that I noticed the precious treasure lodged between the sheet and the headboard. I pushed my finger up under the sheet, you grasping the tooth tight in your hand. Saved! PWHEW....

So, once again you placed it on your bed, the Kleenex banished. The tooth so white against your red sheet. You put the pillow down, slowly!, and eased your beautiful head upon it. Eager to move into slumber, and dream of a Fairy who collects teeth. After kisses and hugs, and lullabies, we said goodnight. Soon you were sound asleep.

Now, I am listening for the sound of Fairy Wings... I love you, my darling GIRL. You are so precious to me. And I feel blessed that I was there for the loss of your first tooth. I am still blowing you kisses...

Love,

Mommy

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It is our first series to read together and it is a ball!

BOY and GIRL are obsessed. Smitten. Excited. And enthralled. With Jack and Annie and The Magic Tree House books, by Mary Pope Osborne. I had never heard of the series before, but decided to check a couple of them out from our trip to the library last week. Since then, we've been back to the library and gotten MORE of them. It is our first adventure series to read together and it is a ball! I especially love playfully teasing them by trailing off the last sentence of a chapter and pretending to close the book.

Immediately there are shouts of No, Mom, NO! One more chapter, please. Please, Mommy. Just one more...

Are you SURE, BOY?

You really want ONE more chapter, GIRL?

Really?

Yes, Mommy, Yes!!!

It is SO fun, and lovely.

I started reading to BOY & GIRL very early, when they were infants, and we have always read aloud every evening before bed and often during the day as well. It is a special time to sit together and have that space, honoring the words and imagination of someone else. And now, we are leaping into adventure stories - chapter books! As a former Library Club Queen, I am in a state of nirvana knowing that my children are truly experiencing the pull of suspense and the draw of a good story.

BOY is reading so many words now, and picking up some simple sentences. I can envision him reading these stories on his own in the not too distant future.

GIRL has fallen in love with the character of Annie, the fearless one. She is the feisty little sister who just leaps into an adventure often encouraging Jack to follow her.

The books are full of adventure, humor and my personal favorite...time travel. I love that the stories go against the typical boy/girl stereotypes. Annie is the adventurous one, the risk taker, yet the little sister. Jack is the studious one, the researcher, the "by the book" more cautious older brother. I see Jack in GIRL and Annie in BOY. And like my children, they are very close in age.

There are many things that I hope my children will learn from me. And having a love and passion for reading is definitely at the top of the list.

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Note: In rereading this I realize it sounds like a book review! It is not. Just a parent's excitement at her children discovering an adventure series. Are there other series you remember from your childhood or that you've enjoyed with your children that you recommend?

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Pictures from The Magic Tree House series are courtesy of their website.

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If mommies could fly, I would have sprouted wings and flown to the moon

This morning I had the transition meeting with BOY's teacher and with the PUSD coach (to special education teachers)/administrative designee. The purpose of the meeting was to look ahead to Kindergarten in the fall and what is next for BOY. Academically BOY is excelling. He loves the stories, singing, learning sight words, sounding out letters, putting letters together to make words, and also enjoys math concepts. He is friend to all, and entertains everyone with what comes out of his lively imagination. He gets very enthusiastic and wants to give ALL the answers, so the teacher is continuing to work with him on impulsively calling out answers/ideas before being called upon. However, they see a huge change in his impulsive and self-regulating behavior. His teacher described him as incredibly sweet and kind to all of his classmates. He's the first one to go over to someone who is hurt or upset to see if they are OK.

His attention has gotten more focused and he isn't always drawn into the tumble play of the other boys. He continues to want to move on if something doesn't engage him, so the challenge is teaching him to hang in a bit longer.

While I was sitting in the meeting, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that BOY is truly appreciated for his gifts and strengths. He has been a welcome addition to the classroom and they enjoy him. What a different feeling it is to not feel that he is disruptive in the classroom and a problem. When we had our meeting in February with the school district preschool special education program staff, one of the things they said is that they thought BOY was bored at his previous preschool. I thought they were nutty. I now believe they were right.

The plan is for BOY to be in a general education inclusion classroom for the fall. What this means is that he will have a regular general education teacher and an educational aide in the classroom to assist if/when he needs help. He will also still receive one 30 minute session with an occupational therapist at school (either working in the back of the classroom or pulled out of the classroom for 30 minutes), as well as continuing the OT once a week at the clinic. All of us felt that he has been doing so well, and has made such strides, that he will benefit by continuing to receive special education services in Kindergarten. He's got a comfortable rug under him now, and we don't want to pull it out from under him.

If mommies could fly, I would have sprouted wings and flown to the moon. The meeting was THAT satisfying. My Little Engine That Could has chugged out of the station and is heading up the hill. Often under his own steam. I feel like we're in a good place both literally and figuratively. We made the right choice...


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Painting entitled: "Hope" by Zoe Hadley.

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What's being said & the goings on lately at Casa de Motherscribe

It is spring time. A time to bask in the glory of warmer days, the soft scent of flowers perfuming the air, and the noise of children playing outside. It is a time to get one's fingers in the soil and nurture the new growth of winter plantings.

BOY's hair is long again. It hasn't been long since he was about 2 or 3. I can't bear to cut it. It is that gorgeous blond, impossibly thick hair that catches the sunlight and looks like butter. The kind of hair that reminds you of when you were a teenager and that new boy, the one who looked like a surfer, just moved to town. That kind of hair. The kind of hair that other women comment on and just...*sigh* Perhaps even more adorable because he has no consciousness of it. Most days he likes it, although he occasionally mentions wanting to have a haircut. And, if he decides that is what he wants to do, we'll do it... But, we've gotten through that in-between stage. The challenging stage when the hair is looking a bit shaggy, and needs to be sprayed down in back. BOY has his own name for that stage. He calls it...

OH.....NO! My hair looks like a big bowl of spaghetti.

(BOY upon looking at himself in the mirror one morning.)

GIRL & BOY like to play outside. I like them to play outside, and feel pretty good about the fact that I let my children take risks. Frequently, they're on their own in the backyard while I'm inside within hearing distance. Occasionally there is what we call...mischief. Like the time I walked out when GIRL was screaming NO, BOY, NO!!! Yes. That time I found that BOY had taken the ride-on rocket up on top of the play structure, and wanted to ride it down the slide. Or, there was another incident where BOY had a chair up on the slide and wanted to see if he could ride the big lawn chair down the slide. That time, he had this to say when I found him mid-flight:

When I have children and they're not cautious like me I'm going to take the boys to sit on a slide and read stories. It will be a big, big slide, as big as our giant cactus!

As then there are the questions.... just to make sure I'm listening.

Mommy, how did the alphabet get in order?

Ahem. ***clearing of throat....AAAHHHEM***

JCK: BOY, that is SUCH a GREAT question! I don't know.

Meanwhile GIRL is on a quest to learn and write down every letter of the alphabet. The self-motivation and inner drive of my GIRL continues to astonish me. She loves asking me how to spell words and then she writes them down. She has been writing letters to people. I was sick for a couple of days this week, and she made this for me. It is a picture of GIRL and myself in the lovely grass with a flower. I believe once that letter was in hand, I was well on my way to recovery. After I mopped up some tears.

GIRL is growing in confidence with her physical body. She is taking more risks to stretch and pull and push herself. The soft rounded limbs are getting more muscular. I revel in her belief that she is physically strong. Because she is.

Yesterday they put together a band, just BOY & GIRL. The band consisted of Tinkertoy sticks and attachments. They clacked their way around the back yard, while I watched. Then I joined in with a sand pail filled with leftover empty plastic Easter eggs. I just rattled and shook myself along behind them.

And then there was BOY's obstacle course. Thrown together with pure creativity, and requiring props and equipment found in the back yard.

The Course: Hop over 2 sand pails, crawl under the ballet bar (usually referred to as their LIMBO bar), somersault down the gym mat, lift two bouncy balls high in the air as if you are Anton the great weightlifter from Russia, jump on the high end of the see saw and crash to the ground, whack the miniature soccer ball off the T-ball stake with a bat, kick the soccer ball, jump off the chair, chuck the soft baseball as far as you can, then throw the Nerf football up into the tree, and then...you're home. Our back yard is still scarce on grass, much to E's chagrin. But, BOY & GIRL? They're diggin it. And apparently it's good for kids to eat dirt from time to time, so we've got that covered. Oh...about 3 years ago. But, it's not the dirt that I'm worried about. OH, NO. This time of year I start getting anxious because I know that E starts looking at the back yard as if it has a NEON sign blinking POTENTIAL PLACE FOR GRASS TO GROW. And if you don't remember what can happen when E sees potential in our back yard, then let me just leave you with this...the grass is not always greener...

Happy Sunday!

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We close one door and open another...

On Monday was BOY's last day at the preschool. On Friday, the teacher told the children that BOY would be going to a new school. Then she had each one of them draw a picture of their own design, and the teacher wrote what each child wanted to say to BOY. On Monday, during circle time, she gave BOY a bound book with drawings from his friends. It was so sweet. There were various messages from his friends:

I will miss you. You were a good friend.
I like playing castle with you.
I hope you like your new school and make a friend.

I will miss my friend, BOY.

I like playing dog with you.

On the cover of the book was the class picture and a special good-bye message from his teachers. His teachers and the Director have been phenomenal. The lunch bunch kids also made a good-bye banner for him. It was a bittersweet day. He is a large presence there. He will be missed...

GIRL is having a lot of sadness over him not going to the same school anymore. She spent a lot of time in my lap today. She is declaring that she, also, wants to leave the preschool and go to BOY's new school. I know that this is temporary, and that she truly loves her days at the preschool, but it will be an adjustment for her. Once she gets the new routine down, she'll be fine. It is a joy to see the huge growth in her confidence over the last few months. She is flourishing.

Yesterday we visited BOY's new school as a family. We wanted BOY to get a chance to meet his teachers, and to see his new classroom. We entered the classroom, and with no hesitation, BOY immediately walked over to the train table and started engaging in conversation with a couple of boys. E and I just looked at each other and smiled. GIRL enjoyed seeing his classroom and chatted up one of the teachers. His lead teacher picked out a little boy to show BOY around the outside play area. He was darling, demonstrating to BOY the various things to play with.

Today was BOY's first day at the new school. He will be able to ride a bus to school, and that...is about all he cares about. Of course! How cool is it to get to ride a bus when you're 5?! Since it was his very first day, I wanted to take him to school myself, and pick him up, but tomorrow he rides the bus.

He said he was nervous this morning, and I was glad he was able to talk about his feelings. Yet, as soon as we approached the school, and he saw his teacher with a few children who had just gotten off the bus, he shouted a greeting and couldn't get over to them fast enough. He went up to the little boy who had befriended him and put his hands on his shoulders, looking into his eyes. I'm not sure what BOY said, but the other little guy smiled. He then lined right up, holding hands, and walked away from me into the school. My eyes filled with tears. Happy ones.

When I picked him up, his teachers said he had had a great day:

He painted with Q-tips.
He did shaving cream.
He played with trains.
He ate all of his hot lunch.
He had a private OT (Occupational Therapy) session on fine motor skills.

And....

He hugged all of his new friends.

Now THAT is my BOY. We close one door and open another...

****"Leaving the world for a while" painting by Chuck Gumpert.

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He will get it in time...

If there was ever a life lesson that I keep learning about my son, it is this:

He will get it in time. In his own time. Finding his own path. He can be guided. But, truthfully, he is at heart an explorer. A creator. Someone who thinks outside the box. And suddenly, what has seemed so challenging and has been a struggle will just happen. It will seem dramatic. As if overnight. When in reality he has been parachuting down to earth, flying down, sometimes drifting off the path to the obvious landing strip - yet, always, always destined to navigate his own touchdown pattern.

I know this. My gut tells me this. But, sometimes I doubt myself.

BOY wrote his name yesterday. Every letter. All by himself. Clearly. Beautifully imperfect. He will get it in time...in his OWN time.


*********Photo courtesy of Google Images

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My greatest wish is for them to be friends when they are grown

There was a moment this afternoon in which we watched our children. Standing in our bedroom, looking out the window at them on the front lawn. GIRL and BOY laying down in the freshly mown grass, side by side, staring up into the branches of our large camphor tree. Fluid motion, the two of them at once still and then up to run and fling their arms askew, their faces a cinematic vision of rapid expression.

Later we took them to the Rose Bowl and let them ride their new bikes all over the back parking lot. It was the perfect place to ride pedal to the medal, and there were kids and parents everywhere. It astonishes me that they have taken to their new bikes with training wheels so easily. They were just on trikes...days ago, and now those small bikes are almost forgotten.

It is as if BOY has tasted of the freedom that is just around the corner. He is at one with the bike, flying into the wind, ignoring my calls to STOP and turn around and ride back. On the way home he suggested that we just drop him off HERE so that he could ride his bike the rest of the way home. We were still a mile away. Already, when I caution him to not go too far, I see the shuttered look of a boy born to fly being asked to come back down to earth.

GIRL always following her brother, pumps her legs around the pedals in deep concentration. She is on her way to finding her own rhythm. Often she is thrown by having to stop and start, yet again trying to build momentum to keep the bike moving forward. She of the wind whipped pink cheeks and ruby lips that will someday get her in trouble.

My greatest wish is for them to be friends when they are grown. Good friends. Laughing together. Leaning on each other. A solid foundation when life gets unsteady. And it always does.

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