then ...letting go of me

Today is GIRL's final day of preschool. Last night we talked together, in what is fast becoming our nightly ritual. GIRL snuggles down under her covers, I switch off the light, and sit on the edge of her bed. The darkness cocoons us, inviting thoughtful conversation about her day, or what adventures lie ahead. This time we spoke of the last day to come, our voices rising and falling in the excitement of celebrations with friends, and the sadness of a life chapter being closed.

I feel so blessed that she has had this last year - to grow and stretch, to soar in social confidence. She looks eagerly ahead, ready for Kindergarten. I rejoice in how she embraces each day, and know that there are many good times to come.

Yet, it is bittersweet...and I am savoring each moment.

As I hugged her good-bye this morning, she pulled me over into the sand... laughter spilling out of her in waves.

THAT was funny! she shrieked, then ...letting go of me, running off to play.

Our children are often ready to move on ... before we are.


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"Heaven Sent" sculpture from The Sculpture Gallery.

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If mommies could fly, I would have sprouted wings and flown to the moon

This morning I had the transition meeting with BOY's teacher and with the PUSD coach (to special education teachers)/administrative designee. The purpose of the meeting was to look ahead to Kindergarten in the fall and what is next for BOY. Academically BOY is excelling. He loves the stories, singing, learning sight words, sounding out letters, putting letters together to make words, and also enjoys math concepts. He is friend to all, and entertains everyone with what comes out of his lively imagination. He gets very enthusiastic and wants to give ALL the answers, so the teacher is continuing to work with him on impulsively calling out answers/ideas before being called upon. However, they see a huge change in his impulsive and self-regulating behavior. His teacher described him as incredibly sweet and kind to all of his classmates. He's the first one to go over to someone who is hurt or upset to see if they are OK.

His attention has gotten more focused and he isn't always drawn into the tumble play of the other boys. He continues to want to move on if something doesn't engage him, so the challenge is teaching him to hang in a bit longer.

While I was sitting in the meeting, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that BOY is truly appreciated for his gifts and strengths. He has been a welcome addition to the classroom and they enjoy him. What a different feeling it is to not feel that he is disruptive in the classroom and a problem. When we had our meeting in February with the school district preschool special education program staff, one of the things they said is that they thought BOY was bored at his previous preschool. I thought they were nutty. I now believe they were right.

The plan is for BOY to be in a general education inclusion classroom for the fall. What this means is that he will have a regular general education teacher and an educational aide in the classroom to assist if/when he needs help. He will also still receive one 30 minute session with an occupational therapist at school (either working in the back of the classroom or pulled out of the classroom for 30 minutes), as well as continuing the OT once a week at the clinic. All of us felt that he has been doing so well, and has made such strides, that he will benefit by continuing to receive special education services in Kindergarten. He's got a comfortable rug under him now, and we don't want to pull it out from under him.

If mommies could fly, I would have sprouted wings and flown to the moon. The meeting was THAT satisfying. My Little Engine That Could has chugged out of the station and is heading up the hill. Often under his own steam. I feel like we're in a good place both literally and figuratively. We made the right choice...


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Painting entitled: "Hope" by Zoe Hadley.

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The Meeting

We met on Tuesday with the PUSD Special Education Preschool team to get their full assessment on BOY. In the last two months, I had brought him in twice for a series of occupational and psychological tests, each session lasting over two hours. And, they visited his preschool four times to observe him. Once by a speech therapist, twice by the occupational therapist, and once by the psychologist. Each visit they stayed 2 hours. They were incredibly thorough. Our meeting with the team, to go over their findings, was three hours. BOY's teacher also attended for the first two hours, and we are so appreciative of her taking the time to do that.

The assessment was helpful. Incredibly beneficial and validating. In fact, we were impressed. 50 pages of documentation. A compilation of the test results, all the observations, and the summary findings of the many questionnaires that were filled out both by us and his teacher. The attention to detail, and the hours of work that went into the report, was truly amazing! 50 pages of our BOY. And they got him. Really got him. All of his strengths and gifts, how much fun he is, and the challenges that he faces.

There are 4 areas of need to be addressed. Three of them relate to Sensory Processing. Sensory Processing refers to how the brain organizes and integrates sensory information from our bodies and the environment, so that we use what we need to perform everyday activities and function in an adaptive way.**

The areas of need with Sensory Processing:

BOY has significant difficulty with drawing, tracing & writing.

BOY has difficulty with attention - inattentive, easily distracted much of the time.

BOY has difficulty using both hands, both sides of his body in a coordinated way. (Example: Although BOY uses both sides of his body, he avoids crossing mid-line, and uses strategies such as switching hands, or turning the paper around, instead of tracing or cutting continuously while coordinating turning the paper as necessary.)

The other area of need is in Communication:

BOY requires repetition of many directions, and he often ignores what he is told.

In summary...what all of this means is that BOY does meet the criteria for special education services as a student with a specific learning disability: deficit in the psychological processing area of attention. As well as additional issues related to sensory processing. The best news is that BOY's challenges can be treated with Occupational Therapy, and it can all be overcome.

Ever since BOY was born, we have had periods of challenge that seemed outside the norm, and it is validating to have an answer. As E said in the meeting, for us it is as if puzzle pieces are finally falling into place. Yet, at the same time, no one wants their child to have additional challenges. It is painful. I adore BOY so... And, adore doesn't EVEN BEGIN to cover how much I love him and treasure him.

At the end of the meeting they gave us their recommendations:

1. For BOY to have Occupational Therapy for 45 minutes once a week.
   
   
2. To move BOY as soon as possible from his current preschool, and enroll in a school district Pre-K morning preschool inclusion class at a local elementary school. There he would get specific help all week by teachers trained in these specific learning disability areas. And... he would be able to excel in the areas where he has strengths. An inclusion classroom is one in which you have 15 students who are general education students, and up to 5 children with special needs. There is a full-time general education teacher as well as a full-time special education teacher in the classroom. In addition, they have two full-time aides.
   

But, we LOVE his preschool!! Do we want to move him AGAIN?

To be continued...

**Definition of Sensory Processing taken from the report.

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There are many things that stand out about this preschool

I'm not sure who is happier with the new preschool, BOY, GIRL or myself. We are loving it! We had the orientation day last Monday in which we were there for an hour and I ricocheted between GIRL's class and BOY's. BOY jumped right in and made himself at home with the astronaut and space station toys. GIRL clung to me pretty closely, but was enamored with all that was offered in her classroom. Each classroom has a reading loft with a bookshelf and big, plump pillows. On Monday, that was where GIRL gravitated.

I am really impressed with the teachers. They are warm and always offer a friendly greeting to all of us. I felt invisible a lot of the time at the previous school. The greetings were always addressed to the kids. And if I greeted the teachers I felt that I was intruding on their time. It is very different here.

On Tuesday I emailed the Director, as I was a bit nervous about GIRL's transition to the new school. Primarily the drop-off. I knew once she was comfortable, she would have a blast as she loves school. The Director emailed me right back and said that she'd have GIRL's teacher call me. She did, and we had a lovely conversation. Wednesday morning came and GIRL surprised me by giving me a sideways hug good-bye. Her way of saying, "Later Mom!" She was already immersed in the doll house in her classroom. Then, when I picked her up she was literally bouncing.

BOY was on the run as soon as we got to the lower playground. (There are two great playgrounds and they alternate between the two.) He flew across the yard and was on a bicycle going across a bridge within seconds. I had to flag down his vehicle to give him a hug good-bye. BOY's class has 13 boys and 4 girls. Can you say...destiny?

So, perhaps it is me who is feeling a bit anxious with the transition. I am the new mom on the block. The parents have been very welcoming, and I'm looking forward to making new friends, but, I do miss my other mom friends. I do. We went through the trenches together...

The Pre-K class has a science center and they'll be doing a lot of science projects this year. Right now they have a bin full of metal and nonmetal objects. The game is to separate the items that gravitate to the magnets from the ones that do not. I wasn't aware that this was really a game, but indeed BOY assured me IT WAS. And he proceeded to show me how to do it.

There are many things that stand out about this preschool...

Cell phones are not allowed on campus. The Director "feels it is very important that your child feel and know they are the most important person to you. Coming to school and being picked up from school is a time when your child wants and needs your uninterrupted attention." I LOVE that! I couldn't agree more.

They have a reading program to encourage the love of reading. Every time we read a book together we log it onto a sheet. BOY & GIRL each get their own sheets. After 20 books have been read, they get to pick out a special toy from the special surprise basket. To keep. Then a new reading log begins.

It's an Episcopal preschool, so they will have a 15 minute chapel time once a week starting in October. The emphasis is on the children knowing they are all loved. They'll have a simple story and sing songs. At Christmas time they have a concert.

Last Friday, at the end of the first week, I collected the things from BOY's cubby and was surprised to discover 5 photographs that the teachers had taken of BOY over his first couple of days. Each child had photographs in their cubby. It brought tears to my eyes. This is so different from before. So very different... Things could change. Perhaps we're going through the "new school dream phase." But, whatever it is...I just want to take the time to enjoy it. Because it feels like I'm wrapped up in velvet. And I like it.


**Picture courtesy of Google Images

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