The Motherscribe office makeover...an unveiling

Waaay back in early July WE took on a major project here at Casa de Motherscribe. It was scary. It was intimidating in its vastness. The feather boa and fishnets were ABSOLUTELY required to get the job done. You may recall that the challenge of taking on this project caused my nostrils to FLARE and my pinkish lips to PURSE. Indeed. There was no succinct way to describe this job. It was called...PROJECT: Annilation & Creative Reconfiguration.

However, there was excitement in the air because...a task that had long been avoided was being tackled. ...

It is only fitting that I show before and after photos so that you may get the ultimate sense of satisfaction and yes, JOY, that I now feel when I sit in here. Although the chairs could be improved...Not all of us have le bottom OH lushness like E. A fanny able to perch, shall we say...for long periods without apparent continual flattening...as is the case for Madam Motherscribe. Alas, it is not to be in this lifetime. Perhaps in my next life my fanny will be not only roundISH, but colorful - as in a BABOON. But, I digress...

Previously...upon entering the Motherscribe office, once your buttocks had stopped clenching rhythmically in horror, THIS is what greeted you...

And let's not forget this... Now you look into the office and see this... And this...
E made the desk above with his own HANDS. Good GOLLY MISS MOLLY...I LOVE those HANDS.

This corner of former bedlam... Has become... a reading nook.This used to be JCK's work area.
Her husband E thought it was his as well. And it was...

Now JCK has her own work space. And E has his...This corner was a mish mash of things.

We now have books organized in sections. This is the theater & film section.

We also have various other sections in our library. We will never be bored...

And so...there you have the...Motherscribe Office REDO...

*********************

Please note that no fishnets were harmed in the making of this project. However the use of "WE" was used irresponsibly. The HE did all the work as the SHE fanned herself continually with her feather boa, barricaded BOY & GIRL from entering, and kept herself upright only with the help of paint fumes.

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Vote for me...pretty please.

A little over a year ago, I got an email from the Blogger's Choice Awards letting me know that I had been nominated for 2 awards. One was for Hottest Mommy Blogger and the other for Best Parenting Blog. I was surprised, flattered and touched. Most of all because the blogger who nominated me was someone whom I had never heard of. How nice is THAT! Her name is Jennifer and she has a blog called Ziff-Niffer. She talks about family life on Oahu, Hawaii. She voted for ME! And for... Dooce. Yes, Dooce. Me and Dooce going at it. As of today, I have 9 votes for Hottest Mommy Blogger and Dooce has 365. So, I'm getting really, really close to Miss Dooce. Oh, baby...YES. Well, not really, but...if you could click on the badges and vote for me, I'd really appreciate it. All you have to do is click on the badge and it will take you to the Blogger's Choice Awards. They'll ask you to fill out a quick form where you create a username & password and then you can vote for me! That's all you have to do. And I'll sell youze a Ginzo knife and be eternally grateful... And you don't have to have a blog to vote for me.

I'm up to 9 votes, People!!! And I'm friggin' PROUD of those 9 votes. But, if YOU vote for me, I might...just might make it to 20 by midnight. That's right. You, TOO, could be a swing voter. That's swing VOTER. Not SWINGER. The polls close on October 15th. Vote for me...pretty please.

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There are many things that stand out about this preschool

I'm not sure who is happier with the new preschool, BOY, GIRL or myself. We are loving it! We had the orientation day last Monday in which we were there for an hour and I ricocheted between GIRL's class and BOY's. BOY jumped right in and made himself at home with the astronaut and space station toys. GIRL clung to me pretty closely, but was enamored with all that was offered in her classroom. Each classroom has a reading loft with a bookshelf and big, plump pillows. On Monday, that was where GIRL gravitated.

I am really impressed with the teachers. They are warm and always offer a friendly greeting to all of us. I felt invisible a lot of the time at the previous school. The greetings were always addressed to the kids. And if I greeted the teachers I felt that I was intruding on their time. It is very different here.

On Tuesday I emailed the Director, as I was a bit nervous about GIRL's transition to the new school. Primarily the drop-off. I knew once she was comfortable, she would have a blast as she loves school. The Director emailed me right back and said that she'd have GIRL's teacher call me. She did, and we had a lovely conversation. Wednesday morning came and GIRL surprised me by giving me a sideways hug good-bye. Her way of saying, "Later Mom!" She was already immersed in the doll house in her classroom. Then, when I picked her up she was literally bouncing.

BOY was on the run as soon as we got to the lower playground. (There are two great playgrounds and they alternate between the two.) He flew across the yard and was on a bicycle going across a bridge within seconds. I had to flag down his vehicle to give him a hug good-bye. BOY's class has 13 boys and 4 girls. Can you say...destiny?

So, perhaps it is me who is feeling a bit anxious with the transition. I am the new mom on the block. The parents have been very welcoming, and I'm looking forward to making new friends, but, I do miss my other mom friends. I do. We went through the trenches together...

The Pre-K class has a science center and they'll be doing a lot of science projects this year. Right now they have a bin full of metal and nonmetal objects. The game is to separate the items that gravitate to the magnets from the ones that do not. I wasn't aware that this was really a game, but indeed BOY assured me IT WAS. And he proceeded to show me how to do it.

There are many things that stand out about this preschool...

Cell phones are not allowed on campus. The Director "feels it is very important that your child feel and know they are the most important person to you. Coming to school and being picked up from school is a time when your child wants and needs your uninterrupted attention." I LOVE that! I couldn't agree more.

They have a reading program to encourage the love of reading. Every time we read a book together we log it onto a sheet. BOY & GIRL each get their own sheets. After 20 books have been read, they get to pick out a special toy from the special surprise basket. To keep. Then a new reading log begins.

It's an Episcopal preschool, so they will have a 15 minute chapel time once a week starting in October. The emphasis is on the children knowing they are all loved. They'll have a simple story and sing songs. At Christmas time they have a concert.

Last Friday, at the end of the first week, I collected the things from BOY's cubby and was surprised to discover 5 photographs that the teachers had taken of BOY over his first couple of days. Each child had photographs in their cubby. It brought tears to my eyes. This is so different from before. So very different... Things could change. Perhaps we're going through the "new school dream phase." But, whatever it is...I just want to take the time to enjoy it. Because it feels like I'm wrapped up in velvet. And I like it.


**Picture courtesy of Google Images

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What size bathing suit would you wear?

As I maneuvered BOY and GIRL out the door yesterday, in a rush to get BOY to his swimming lesson at the Y, the crotch of my jeans soaked with water, I realized that nothing really embarrasses me anymore. I mean, should it embarrass me that I don't care about appearing in public with wet jeans? That perhaps someone could think that I peed my pants? Perhaps it should. But, it doesn't. Nope. I mean, really...once you experience giving birth and blow a baby out of your vagina...nothing can embarrass you again. About yourself.

There are exceptions. Perhaps your husband calling you to discuss your bathing suit size by phone could be one of them. It went something like this...

I was calmly minding my own business, having a lovely day of the red tide, one of those days when REGULAR accouterments simply...don't cut it. You, understand. In the middle of this lovely interlude of once a month in HELL, my husband, an innocent fellow known as E, calls me interrupting my delightful reverie.

Hello? - says I.

What size bathing suit would you wear? - E asks matter-of-factly.

MATTER OF FACTLY? SURELY YOU JEST! But, I don't...

Back to the tale...

EXCUSE ME? - say I, in what can only be interpreted as the BITCHIEST of bitches voice.

HE DOES NOT APPEAR TO NOTICE. PERHAPS MY VOICE ALWAYS SOUNDS LIKE THIS?! Quel horror!

Would a size 32 work? Or a 34? How do you tell these sizes? E asks. [OH, yes...just a normal telephone call to discuss MY BATHING SUIT SIZE. Didn't I just go through bathing suit trauma recently? Although, nicely resolved. However, not something I would wish to go through again...this season.]

Is this a FRIGGIN' joke? [Is what I was thinking, but I refrained from speaking.]

Uh, what is this in reference to? - I ask.

Well, I'm at REI and there are some AMAZING bathing suits. One in purple that I think would look great on you. - He tells me.

I did not wish to think about bathing suits at this particular moment of bloating CRISIS, but what the hell...

We discuss the options. We hang up.

The phone rings again. He has discovered one in my size, apparently...

I appreciate you thinking of me, but I don't really need a bathing suit. I just got that one the other week. - I whisper weakly.

After all this is a TOTAL affront!

We talk. We hang up.

*****

Two hours later he arrives brandishing a bag of goodies. All for me. Such embarrassment of riches.

Well, you never buy yourself anything nice and I found some things. - says E.

Apparently he did: A skort. A pretty top. And a bathing suit that looks très cool, but much TOO LARGE. I try it on...............................

It doesn't fit. TOO SMALL! Aaah...the DELIGHTS. It appears to be harmful to try on bathing suits in one's own home. Oh, well...

But, let's stop a moment and think about this:

1. I have a husband who arrives home bearing gifts.
2. I have a husband who thinks of me occasionally.
3. Me. Self-absorbed, MUCH!?

You know I think the lure of fishnets is working... Or, maybe that boa! Damn, I better quit making fun of those friggin' white shoes!

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That Holly. She's too much! That Holly.

Holly of June Cleaver Nirvana recently linked to me on her discussion group, Blue Moon Salon. The current discussion is on women in the new media and this post was about Mommy Bloggers. She eschews the title, as I do. But, then we both had to get over driving minivans, and there you have it. In the post she mentioned me. Me? I cried. Her comment on my blog, letting me know that she had been up to this mischief, literally came in within minutes of me hanging up with my recruiter turning down that job. Timing is everything. That Holly. She's too much! That Holly. We all know she's that sexy, tile lusting, victor in beautifying, artistic fierce trapper, potluck legend. That Holly. She's the best. But, is she really reading my blog? My blog?

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Awards to share and updating Motherscribe's blog roll

Last Friday I was minding my own business, just humming along, when Tootsie Farklepants gave me this lovely tiara. That Tootsie will not only make you laugh, but she really knows how to make a girl feel like a Queen. And since she writes her Tootsie Talks ~ Some People Listen column on Fridays, commenting on fashion, I know that this award is in good taste. Or else...she's laughing her ass off. Thank you, Tootsie!

I'd like to give this award to g, whom I met at our Bossy blogfest last week. As I was sipping my Jack & Coke, adjusting my sunglasses due to the radiance emanating from Tootsie's sparkling teeth, nervously eyeing underage waiters, and oh YES...waiting for BOSSY's arrival, g introduced herself to us as a lurker - not yet a blogger. To my delight, g commented on my blog a few days ago and let me know that she now has a blog! Go visit her at Doves Today. She likes to write about "things to celebrate" - something we could all use. Congrats on starting a blog, g!

On Monday, the amazing Holly over at June Cleaver Nirvana gave me the "I love you this much award."

Holly is amazing not only because she loves to dish out potluck on Mondays, but she is especially skilled in drawing - most recently detailing the attack upon her by her minivan. We all think she should be writing children's books. She is also incredibly generous in her promotion of other blogs. Please check out the pink box on her right hand sidebar. Thank you, Holly, for this darling award. I love the graphic as it reminds me of my little GIRL.

I'd like to pass on the "I love you this much award" to Angie from Keep Believing, who inspires me every day with her honest and heartfelt story of her husband Brian's cancer. Angie not only is the anchor in her family, but also leaves uplifting comments on many, many blogs. She is a true warrior woman.

On Wednesday, Meghan of A Mom Two Boys gave me a "You Make My Day Award." Now Meghan is known to write about many things, all of which are funny. One of my favorite posts is this: Some People are SO Stupid. Thank you Meghan! You make my day, too!

I would like to pass this along to the following daily must reads. I am addicted to these ladies:
Slouching Mom
Mrs. G from Derfwad Manor
Jenn at Juggling Life
Jennifer from Thursday Drive
Tootsie from Vintage Thirty
Holly from June Cleaver Nirvana

I wanted to take a moment to thank all of my readers. I appreciate you greatly. I adore getting comments, but I also know that the lurkers are important, too. And they are, perhaps, the ones who read my blog regularly. So, lurkers everywhere, thank you.

I am currently updating my blog roll. Please leave me a comment if you would like to be added.

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Upcoming rendezvous on Bossy's Excellent Road Trip, FIREMEN! & Ancient Math Equation

On Wednesday night I am going to meet a bunch of LA area bloggers. BOSSY is passing through town on her road trip and we're all hooking up at a well known cantina. I plan to wear fishnets something suitable and Tootsie will definitely NOT be wearing CROCS. Did you get that? I GET TO MEET TOOTSIE ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT! If she shows up. I just peeked over there on her blog and she recently pulled an all nighter. So...Mr. Farklepants might just ground her. I'm hoping he'll be lenient this time. If you hear about any sirens in S. California going off...you'll know it's us! Speaking of sirens...

Today the most EXQUISITE thing happened. BOY and I were tuned in to the Magic Fairy of the Universe today. Oh, YES, our sights must have been all aligned in Jupiter, Mars & Venus at once. The Magic Fairy waved her wand and produced a firetruck with 4, count them, 4 GORGEOUS hunkin' firemen. The kind of men that my girlfriends and I used to refer to as R&R. Rough and Ready. And they were READY for us.

It started out innocently enough, BOY & I were making an emergency pit stop so that he could go to the bathroom. We zoomed into a little strip mall with a coffee shop, and as we were exiting the vehicle I briefly considered the bushes as an emergency target in front of the car. But, while I scanned the parking lot for interlopers, my eyes spotted Big Blue Eyes, Big Blond with dimples, Big Sexy and Big Older, But Still Sexy sitting atop their Big Red fire truck. Perhaps not the time for a whiz in the bushes, although I'm sure they would have appreciated it. But, you know image is everything. Especially when your hair was blown dry perfectly - for once. So...we hit the coffee shop running, made our bathroom stop and headed back out to the parking lot. I then dragged BOY over to the fire truck:

Let's go talk to the firemen, BOY. I'm sure they'll want to say hello to YOU. [Me First! Me! Me!]

Well, hello there, says Big Blue Eyes.

HI! The mother BOY said, batting her eyelashes smiling up at him.

And within seconds, another fireman, Big Blond with Dimples, got out of the truck and proceeded to give us a complete tour of the truck. I'm not talking 5 minutes here, people! NO... we are talking at least 15! Big Blond with Dimples let BOY try out the side seat & look out the window, opened EVERY single compartment and explained what was in it, answered all 8,999 questions poised by BOY, pulled out the heart monitor equipment [I think he thought I was going to swoon], showed us his Paramedic badge on his very manly muscled arm sleeve, showed us every single hose BIG and small, had BOY climb up to the top of the truck to touch the ladders, and as a finale BOY got to sit in the driver's seat and do the steering wheel. Big Older, But Still Sexy was in the passenger seat up front and jiggled the seat up and down so it seemed like BOY was taking a ride. Heaven for Preschool BOY and his Mama. Pure and simple. After we said our good-byes and I stumbled walked away with BOY, I gave BOY a big squeeze and said:

You now WHAT, BOY! If you hadn't had to go to the bathroom we would never have stopped and we would have missed the firemen!

I think he got it, but not with the same sense of fate that I did.

Well, since I'm wanting to look my best for Wednesday night's rendezvous, I better go do another steam treatment. I've discovered the most amazing spa-like skin treatment. 1) Walk into your kitchen soon after you dishwasher's cycle has finished 2) open the door and 3) stick your head in. You might initially balk at the blast of hot steam, but once you can see again it is really quite effective. And much more optimistic than sticking your head into an oven after a long day.

I leave you with this gem. It is not the New Math or even the old math. This is what I like to call Ancient Math...

The Equation:

Husband + 2 children go to local park to burn off energy

- Wife who has 2 hours in her own house by herself

= CARNAL KNOWLEDGE that evening...

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NaBloPoMo - Day 18- Nominations and axplosions au TUTU

....My Christmas present came early this year, Jennifer over at Ziff-Niffer has nominated me for a couple of 2008 Blogger's Choice Awards. Damn, girlfriend! I've never been nominated for anyTHANG.

Well, there was that, that, that time. The time I got the Most Promising Newcomer Award for best bust line.

The THRILL was tremendous. As you can see....

But, like many, many other nominees, alas, I did not win and my life was never again that exciting...

Until now....

One of the nominations was for Hottest Mommy Blogger. Hahahaha HICCUP, excuse me I've had to do a shot of Black Jack to really take this in. Hottest Mommy Blogger. Well. So. When I went to the Blogger's Choice Awards site to check out the other nominees in this category - of which there are, I think at least 10,000, it was quite the education. I am in amazing company. From the Couture Mommies to the Pole Dancing Mommies and in-between. Bottom line is this: If anyone calls me hot these days, I've got to take it and bank it. For those UM... so many days when my sleep deprived face screams at me in the morning mirror - What the hell happened to you!? You had two children after 42! Are you insane?

The other nomination was for Best Parenting Blog. .....................................................deep, contemplative ......SILENCE. Mmmmm, maybe it was all those stories about poop. Or maybe those stories about ....poop. Or, maybe because ...well, oh bollocks, I'll just take the nomination and shut-up already.

So, in my teenage giddy-like excitement, I slapped those two nomination badges up there on your right. The only time I'll ever tell you to lean right. And I hopped around to other nominated blogs and no one, but no one had their badges on the top of their blog. So, now it appears that I am bragging. Can I brag for just one day, please? As that Park Ranger lover, who really is a hottie over at Oh, the Joys says....OH...THE ... SHAME. I have committed a blogging faux pas. A gaffe, a bungle, botch, boner, flub, embarrassing mistake. And yes, boner does have other meanings. ...Apparently these nomination badges should be just a wee bit down the page, like several leagues, so that you can unearth them casually - like it is nothing. Just a day like any other. I stand corrected. I shall move them down the page....well, tonight - no tomorrow, well maybe tomorrow. After I've let the fun, giggly feeling sit in my belly for a while. The feeling that someone, besides my mother, thinks I'm worth nominating - at least for today.

And, just in case you think I'm exaggerating on the POOP explosions. As I was writing this very post, my GIRL calls me from the bathroom. I cannot even BEGIN to describe the sight that awaited me. Poop trails. Everywhere. Poop down her legs, poop on her tutu, yes her TUTU. Poop smeared on the toilet seat, poopy panties in the toilet, poop on the floor, poop on her hands. Just a Sh*t load of poop. So, after I cleaned it all up, BOY comes barreling in here buck naked just as I was about to hit the Publish Post button and announced, "I had an AXPLOSION. An axplosion."

But, even AXPLOSIONS galore cannot lessen your kindness in nominating me, Jen. Thank you, I am truly SO touched.

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Passing it forward with TREATS!

Wow! I've just been given some treats by What Works for Us for being a new visitor on her blog. You have got to check her out. My favorite of her recent posts is this picture. It is HILARIOUS. I am very touched that she would do this. And SO excited for the opportunity to pass these on to my new blog visitors. So, here they come to....

Omnia causa fuint , Derfwad Manor , The Happy Geek , Momtech , and Madness, Madness I say. Thanks so much for commenting on my blog, ladies! Take one, take two. And then if you want, pass it forward.

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