BlogHer celebrates women bloggers around the globe

In May it will be 3 years since I started blogging. That summer I discovered a phenomenal site for women. BlogHer. And it is like nothing else.

BlogHer celebrates women bloggers around the globe. It was created by 3 women who were intuitive, innovative thinkers at a time when women's voices were not being heard. Now they are.

Boy are they! Whether your blog has a small readership or gets hundreds of hits a day, you are welcome in the BlogHer community. In fact, there are no small blogs at BlogHer. Lisa, Elisa & Jory don't think like that. They believe if you have something to say, and you say it well, you should be heard. It's an equal playing field, and everyone is on the same team. They welcome controversy, thoughtfulness, and yes...a little raciness, too. They believe that women support each other, and don't buy into the stereotype that women are out to get each other.

BlogHer encourages, validates, and empowers women. Best of all they are responsive to any question or concern. (Special shout-out to Denise & Yvonne, who have helped this...er...technologically challenged gal...) In a world where automated messages abound, this stands out, and feels so respectful.

Yet the word that describes BlogHer best to me is ...approachable. I will never forget meeting Lisa Stone at BlogHer '08 in San Francisco. Gathering my courage, I walked up to her in a crowd, and waited. (She's a popular lady, you know!) As she turned to me with a bright smile and a hello, I immediately felt comfortable. She's the real deal...

In celebration of BlogHer's 5th Anniversary, my 5 words to describe BlogHer are:

Responsive

Encouraging

Validating

Empowering

Approachable

Congratulations on your 5 year anniversary, BlogHer! You should be proud.

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On Saturday night, I had a chance to meet some bloggers

If you have to be in a car accident, make sure you have plans to meet friends afterwards. Especially sassy ladies like the ones above. On Saturday night, I had a chance to meet some bloggers. Above, from left to right: Kalynne, Cheri & Jenn. I'm on the far right. It all came about with Kalynne, The Philosopher Mom, coming to town. She was presenting a paper: The Friendship of Buzz, Blog & Swag to The Society for Business Ethics. And... she was so impressive that they selected her paper as one of three finalists for best paper of the conference. Yes, Kalynne is impressive. She is mother of 9, has a PhD and is a professor at Auburn University. She won't let you feel inadequate though, she is lovely and fun and loves to laugh. She and Jenn from Juggling Life did a wonderful job of making sure the champagne was good. I would have joined in, but I needed something I could nurse all evening. So, of course that was...my JackO'Clock! I have been wanting to meet Jenn for quite a while, we are only a couple hours away from each other. I've often left comments on her blog that she should be writing a parenting book. She has amazing wisdom and loves discussing ideas on parenting. And she...is lots of fun, too. Which brings me to Cheri from Blog This Mom. I have been noticing Cheri's comments for months on sites that we both frequent and knew she was one of those fabulous San Diego blogger Mamas. I have only started reading her blog recently and she is an amazing writer. She has the ability to move you to tears and laughter in the same post. I had a blast with these ladies. Thanks so much, Kalynne for coming to town! Oh, YES. It was the night of the sexy, hot mamas. Although our waiter perhaps did not think so as we stayed there...for a few hours. But, we tipped him well so... that's what counts right?

If any of you bloggers have a chance to meet other bloggers whom you've been reading, do it! It is really a wonderful thing to connect in person. And Kalynne...we want to read that paper!

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What I took away from BlogHer '08...

It's been a week since I returned from the BlogHer '08 conference, and I feel the need to clarify a few of my feelings about the time I spent there. I loved the conference! I would definitely go again and I hope those of you who didn't make it will really consider going next year. There was something so powerful and energizing about being around so many other people who share a passion for blogging.

I was and am incredibly impressed with Lisa Stone, Elisa Camahort and Jory des Jardins, who are the three founders of BlogHer. I was lucky enough to chat with Lisa for a few minutes between sessions, and she made me feel welcome. She was genuinely interested in what I do on my blog, and despite all the things she had to keep track of at that moment, took the time to speak with me for several minutes. On Sunday I sat in on an informal session about how to use the BlogHer site and got to meet both Elisa and Jory. The excitement they express in what they are doing, and their enthusiasm for supporting other women and their blogs is simply...a lovely thing. They are three extraordinarily generous women taking big risks and it was inspiring to be around them.

I attended a variety of sessions and some were better than others, but I got something from each one. I didn't have any goals or expectations going in, other than being open to hearing what people had to say and to share of myself, if I felt so inclined. Some sessions were disapointing, some were not to miss! One of the things that I liked so much in their planning of the conference is their willingness to take chances with their choice of speakers. They give everyone an opportunity to be a session speaker. This lends a community feeling that encourages dialogue and discussion between those who choose to partake. So, there is always the risk that someone may not be a strong speaker, but they are willing to take that chance in order to discover unique voices. And I like that.

I think it is fabulous that there were sessions on how we can increase traffic and earn money from our blogs. For people who would like to do that, there were some great ideas! Although for myself earning money from my blog is not a primary goal, I am definitely open to that happening at some point if my blog is meant to go in that direction. (Hey, I signed up for a free Cafe Press account!) I cannot imagine anything better than being paid for my writing.

A few days ago, I wrote a post reflecting on some of the points expressed in one of the conference sessions: Because that is the art of blogging. (WARNING: THERE IS A VA-J-J PAINTING ON THIS POST THAT HAS SENT SOME READERS OVER THE EDGE. Please note that the painting was done in 1999, when I was suffering through intense grief with infertility. I put the picture up to reflect that art is different things for different people and that I believe it is good to take risks, even if your stomach heaves when the comments do or don't reflect back on what you've put out there.)

In referring to the goal of your blog having a single focus and doing posts that are 300 words or less in order to have a readership, I said this:

Truthfully, I'm really writing for me. And if I start to write with these goals that are not mine, I'll feel hemmed in and trapped, and God forbid...pandering.


I want to clarify here that by no means was I referring to other bloggers who have created opportunities for themselves to earn money on their blogs as being pandering. I was referring only to myself in saying that if I limit myself to keeping my posts to 300 words or less, (and I know some of you are saying, Hallelujah, Amen!), my truth is that I would feel boxed in. My blog would probably benefit from having "a single focus," but for right now ...it is what it is. I'm a rambler by nature and often take more of a meandering path. Perhaps someday my blog will have a singular focus. I truly believe that if you follow your passion it will lead you to creating ways of earning income for doing what you love. For now, blogging is my passion...

I mentioned that I wasn't sure that we were all that welcoming to the few men who attended. That was not true of everyone. Once again I should have used "I" instead of "we." In every session, I would see a lone man or two and wonder how he was surviving. The female energy was intense...even for females! I was just so eager to connect with other women that I wasn't very thoughtful about engaging the men. But, they were not shunned. Certainly not deliberately. (Jason, my dear, if you had attended we would have created a float for you to loll about on as we sashayed you down the hallways.)

What I took away from BlogHer '08 was to absolutely honor everyone's individual voice and to celebrate blogs. I can't think of a better message than that.


***Photo of Lisa, Jory & Elisa courtesy of the BlogHer web site.

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The Aftermath of BlogHer '08: Let's slam Mommy to the ground

My desk is covered with 87 business cards that I received from other bloggers. 87. They told us to bring cards. Lots of them. They were right. I can't wait to check out all 87 blogs. And I will.

Unfortunately, that appears to be some distance from today. You know that expression...Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? Well... hell hath no fury like children whose mother went off to a BlogHer conference. They have been THAT bad. Oh, so bad, my little darlings, little chickadees of vengeance. I've been tested so many times I'm beginning to feel like the latest shuttlecock designed by Bad Ass Badminton Devils -a.k.a., BOY & GIRL. Is my forehead stamped with SUCKER? Apparently so... We'll just call this The Aftermath of BlogHer '08: Let's slam Mommy to the ground.

But, before I get back to the reality of long overdue housework, making lunches, and stuffing myself with chocolate, I'm going to leave you with a couple of pictures ...perhaps, so that I can better remember what life was like this weekend as it is fast becoming a distant memory.

I know you want the goods. Unfortunately, my camera only took 2 pictures. So, I'm going to send you to other blogs to get the goods. Stephanie from Bad Mom claims that I wasn't saying naughty words in the bathroom. That's because she's the naughty one. The sexy voiced Kellan from On the Upside put up with me for hours and days and nights. We both were incredibly excited to be at BlogHer yet missing our children... The chic Kelly, who is also a pilot, from Don Mills Diva has lots of pictures of the weekend on her blog.

Here's a picture of (L to R): Kellan, Kelly & myself in the hotel lobby/bar area.

And here I am with Andrea from Pass the Zoloft, Liv from madness, madness i say; and Christine from Flutter. We were all drinking iced tea ...JACK O'CLOCK and lying on top of each other sitting demurely BIG FAT LIAR! in some delicious little dive bar called The Gold Dust or some such.

And now...if you'll excuse me, I've got blogs to go discover and chocolate to gobble. The coast is clear. BOY & GIRL are, for the moment, in dreamland ...plotting my downfall.

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All of us brought together by our passion for blogging

I miss my children. I miss the smell of their soft skin, the roundness of their cheeks, and the weight of their small bodies in my arms. It's been an amazing weekend at BlogHer '08. Hard to wrap my head around all that I've taken in...still processing.

The energy at the conference was palpable. A thrum that often became cacophonous. I could tell you about all the sessions I attended and what I got out of them, but I won't. Because someone else will be blogging about that and do it much better. Someone who can be brief and centered. My center is a bit cockeyed at the moment. My mind a swirl with all of it.

The best part was meeting so many fabulous women. Some whom I've been reading for months, many not. There were women in their 20's and women in their 60's. There were mother's with babies slung across their chests. There were women with backpacks and women with sexy shoes. Effusive women and reticent women. Women of all shapes and sizes. All of us brought together by our passion for blogging. And there were a few men. Brave souls. I'm not sure that we were that welcoming to them. Probably not.

On Friday night, the fishnets made it out of the suitcase, onto my limbs, down the elevator, across the lobby, out to the sidewalk, around the block to the club, and into the club's bathroom. It was there that they were whipped off and stuffed into my purse. Apparently thigh highs were designed to come off within the first 5 minutes of putting them on. Not designed to stay up. And who wants to spend the evening yanking up one's fishnets when you can sip a JD and coke and stuff your face with delicious nibbles. Comfort is always high on my list of priorities.

I'm looking forward to taking the time to look at all the cards I've collected. And to discovering more blogs. It's been quite a weekend. And I'm glad I came...

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I'm glad that I packed a la Elizabeth Taylor...

Landing at SFO requires looking at a lot of water before one lands. A lot of water. Otherwise known as the San Francisco Bay. Beautiful, yet a bit unnerving to see the water, so much of it, laid out under you. Especially when it's been so... long since I've flown solo. Years. Could it be over 15 years? Surely not. But, it is... I don't think I've taken a solo trip since I met my husband. Or else that once solo life is so far behind me that all I can see are wisps of smoke.

I am here in San Francisco! First items bought after exiting the plane: a pink vitamin water labeled "Fuel" and a bottle of extra-strength pain medication -for the super deal of $9.99. Also counting as lunch. Breakfast was a few handfuls of trail mix. I was that excited. I'm hoping the drink and extra-strength pain medicine will ward off the toxins of an overly chatty plane passenger who sat behind me - regaling all of us as she giggled teenage like at everything her companion of 5 minutes uttered. I'm all in favor of flirting, but somehow a giggly 35 year old at extra volume uttering phrases..."well, like... and ...like this...and I was like..." sends me over the edge. Valley Girl ad nauseam without the teenage angst. Thank GOD it was a short flight! And as if the giggles and LOUD TALKING weren't enough, she just had to get on that cell phone while we were waiting to exit the plane to let her friend know that she had landed in "Frisco." According to people who live here, that "nickname" alone is enough to send someone out to Alcatraz. Yes, it is now closed, but that's beside the point.

Then things seemed to move smoothly. My bag was not lost and I found the shuttle bus waiting area. All appeared good. Until the man who caused the overly eager female plane passenger to giggle showed up at my shuttle bus waiting area. Yes. He. Did. And announced he was going to the same hotel. Oh. Yes. I was beginning to panic that he was attending BlogHer '08, but then was able to sigh rather loudly when he announced into his cell phone that he was in SF for another function all together. God is good.

The air is cool and the wind gusty here in San Francisco. I'm glad that I packed a la Elizabeth Taylor, because I have an array of outfits - some warmer than others. The hotel is gorgeous and the lobby is covered with bloggers in every corner. I am told there are 1,000 of us here for the BlogHer conference. You can feel the energy, the excitement of all of these people (mostly women) brought together by passion. A passion born of writing. To blog or not to blog...there is never a question.

I've been lucky enough to spend the last couple of hours with Kellan from On the Upside. She is just as nice and down to earth as you could imagine. Plus, she has a sexy voice. So, don't let her fool you. Sexy voices are definitely ON THE UPSIDE. She and I have been handing out our cards left and right, meeting friendly people, and eating stinky cheese. I like this lady!

My roommate Meghan from A Mom Two Boys just arrived a bit ago. If you could bottle ADORABLE, it would be her. I believe I'm old enough to be her mother. She looks 12. Damn it!

It is a bit odd to have the stage curtain to your blog lifted up for all to see...you. I've decided to introduce myself as JCK. I like the fit of it. I've grown fond of JCK. I could introduce myself by my first name, and I'm certainly not opposed to sharing that information, but I'm not sure I want to let go of JCK. The moniker JCK has given me an identity other than wife and mother. I like it. I love being a wife and mother. But, being JCK is the writer that I'm becoming. And that feels like a little treasure tucked just under my heart.

I did bring the fishnets. We'll see if they stay in the suitcase...

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The Hot Tip List for Managing the BlogHer 2008 Conference

I've been reading advice on how to prepare for the upcoming conference in San Francisco. Let's see if I remember everything...

If I buy a lap top before the BlogHer Conference 2008 in San Francisco then I must remember to bring a lap top.

If I bring a lap top then I will need a roller bag to carry it and all the cool swag that's available. Or I will leave the lap top in my room...

If I don't have a lap top, that's OK. There will be other lamesters there with me.

I need to bring an extra suitcase just for all the SWAG. And it is good stuff.

I will talk to anyone who has legs and if they look like a blogger, they probably are.

I will talk to more than 1 person. I will talk to at least 10. I will, at some point, stop talking.

I will wear comfortable shoes. This is life or death. Bring band aids just in case I don't listen to this sage advice and need to provide for myself or others. Wardrobe is up to me, but definitely bring a sweater or light jacket. I can probably leave the fishnets at home.

A message board would be great!

Cards, cards and more cards. Bring your cards. Be sure and have a pocket for them and a separate pocket for everyone else's cards that you will collect.

Great shopping in the area. Within walking distance. Best to get credit limits extended on your credit cards.

Pre-conference parties and conference in the same hotel. Yeah! Friday & Saturday night parties across the street! Pace yourself.

Be able to utter a one line description of my blog. Yeah...right. This will be my hardest challenge...Chatty Cathy here.

Never, but NEVER say you have JUST a personal blog or never, but NEVER say the word "JUST." Unless you have to go to your room for a breather, in which case you can say "You'll have to excuse me, JUST for a minute. I'll be right back." Then you can go back to your room and collapse - hopefully on a soft bed that cradles your curves.

Eat!! By GOD, eating is important. And you will be with WOMEN. And women LIKE TO EAT.

Ear plugs might be a good thing.

Don't take vacant or scowling looks personally, the person is probably not directing it at you.

Everyone is NICE at BlogHer. That IS what it's about!

Parking is crazy expensive. So is gas. Carpool if you can.

And...try to plan a light schedule for the day or two after BlogHer because you will be tired. Probably not as tired as my husband will be watching our 3 and 4 year old by himself for 3 days...

Yep, that about covers it. Anything else to add?

Added Note: Hug Flutter and come hear her speak!

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Bossy's visit to L.A.

I was the first one to arrive. I picked up my cell phone and dialed ... Hey, it's L.A.

Tootsie!

JCK!

Are you here?

No, still on the freeway. I should be there in a few minutes.

It seems they're prepared for us. There's a big sign saying "Margarita Madness" and I had to wait in line for 10 minutes for the valet.

I think they said whoever was first to go ahead and get a table.

O.K., I'll see you when you get here. I'm so excited!

It was a picture perfect Southern California evening for Bossy's visit to L.A. The sun, low in the sky, shed amber light over the outdoor patio, lending a magical quality to the approaching evening. Perfect setting for JACK O'CLOCK! The male waiter, looking to be about 14, took my order. I was a little afraid he was going to get busted by the police before he made it back from the bar with my Jack & Coke, but luck was with me.

I was nervous. One of the things that I have found freeing about blogging is the anonymity. Somehow, on a blog you have this incredible opportunity and freedom to be wide open and raw, if you want to be. And the thought of going out and meeting people who have read your innermost thoughts can be a bit daunting. But, the lure of meeting other people who have the passion for blogging was too ...irresistible.

It had been difficult to decide what to wear. I finally decided on comfort with a little razzle dazzle thrown in. Jeans, favorite blousy top, and what I like to call my Rod Stewart boots - red snakeskin, just above the ankle, zipped up the back. [A "before kids" purchase for me by E... *sigh*] Frankly, if I get the opportunity to go out, I like to dress up. I live in SAHM couture de Tarjay a bit too much as it is.

I had been a little slow jumping on Bossy's Excellent Road Trip, only recently discovering her, but was intrigued by her journey. Most of all, I loved that she was a facilitator for bringing bloggers together. I've always loved the idea of community within the large world that we live in, and Bossy seemed all about community.

Best of all, I was going to meet Tootsie Farklepants! Thank GOD, our meeting was in the evening and my skin had had all day to plump out. Would she notice that I was a lazy ass and hadn't been using her recommended night cream?

And then one by one they started to arrive:
The admitted lurker G from Topanga -who should have a blog ...

Tootsie Farklepants... She is beautiful, of course. We know who really runs Mr. Farklepants' Senseo. It goes without saying that she made me laugh. But, best of all... she is incredibly warm and endearingly a bit shy.

And then a kick ass group of women bloggers...
http://grrl.wordpress.com/
http://notjustbarbra.blogspot.com/
http://www.leahpeah.com/
http://pumpkindelight.blogspot.com/
http://redstapler23.blogspot.com/
http://vintagethirty.blogspot.com/
http://queenofspainblog.com/
http://whereisgoodservice.blogspot.com/
www.glozell.com/
http://shayera.blogspot.com/
http://www.undomesticdiva.com/

With a male hottie, [who hosted Bossy], thrown in...
http://jason-thejasonshow.blogspot.com/

And the awesome lady who brought us all together...
http://www.iambossy.com/

This is a picture of Tootsie and MOI. We're happy girls.

All of us spent the evening talking about many things. We talked about blogging - why we started blogging, what our blogs were about, the passion we have for it, and how the commitment of it can also feel like a job. We shared stories about our lives, our careers, our families. Most of all, we just hung out together. And that was good.

Bossy is incredibly down to earth and real. And I liked her for that. She loves taking pictures, when she remembers to take the lens cap off.... And she's all about doing away with walls, and getting to know people. She almost single-handedly tossed a few round tables over her shoulder so that we all could move closer together and really talk. That was cool. It was a great night out. And that's not just because I don't get out much. It really was fun. Even if I was the oldest. DAMMIT!

Note: The huge Margarita Madness party that was going on had nothing to do with our gathering, but we like to think they were welcoming us, too.

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Upcoming rendezvous on Bossy's Excellent Road Trip, FIREMEN! & Ancient Math Equation

On Wednesday night I am going to meet a bunch of LA area bloggers. BOSSY is passing through town on her road trip and we're all hooking up at a well known cantina. I plan to wear fishnets something suitable and Tootsie will definitely NOT be wearing CROCS. Did you get that? I GET TO MEET TOOTSIE ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT! If she shows up. I just peeked over there on her blog and she recently pulled an all nighter. So...Mr. Farklepants might just ground her. I'm hoping he'll be lenient this time. If you hear about any sirens in S. California going off...you'll know it's us! Speaking of sirens...

Today the most EXQUISITE thing happened. BOY and I were tuned in to the Magic Fairy of the Universe today. Oh, YES, our sights must have been all aligned in Jupiter, Mars & Venus at once. The Magic Fairy waved her wand and produced a firetruck with 4, count them, 4 GORGEOUS hunkin' firemen. The kind of men that my girlfriends and I used to refer to as R&R. Rough and Ready. And they were READY for us.

It started out innocently enough, BOY & I were making an emergency pit stop so that he could go to the bathroom. We zoomed into a little strip mall with a coffee shop, and as we were exiting the vehicle I briefly considered the bushes as an emergency target in front of the car. But, while I scanned the parking lot for interlopers, my eyes spotted Big Blue Eyes, Big Blond with dimples, Big Sexy and Big Older, But Still Sexy sitting atop their Big Red fire truck. Perhaps not the time for a whiz in the bushes, although I'm sure they would have appreciated it. But, you know image is everything. Especially when your hair was blown dry perfectly - for once. So...we hit the coffee shop running, made our bathroom stop and headed back out to the parking lot. I then dragged BOY over to the fire truck:

Let's go talk to the firemen, BOY. I'm sure they'll want to say hello to YOU. [Me First! Me! Me!]

Well, hello there, says Big Blue Eyes.

HI! The mother BOY said, batting her eyelashes smiling up at him.

And within seconds, another fireman, Big Blond with Dimples, got out of the truck and proceeded to give us a complete tour of the truck. I'm not talking 5 minutes here, people! NO... we are talking at least 15! Big Blond with Dimples let BOY try out the side seat & look out the window, opened EVERY single compartment and explained what was in it, answered all 8,999 questions poised by BOY, pulled out the heart monitor equipment [I think he thought I was going to swoon], showed us his Paramedic badge on his very manly muscled arm sleeve, showed us every single hose BIG and small, had BOY climb up to the top of the truck to touch the ladders, and as a finale BOY got to sit in the driver's seat and do the steering wheel. Big Older, But Still Sexy was in the passenger seat up front and jiggled the seat up and down so it seemed like BOY was taking a ride. Heaven for Preschool BOY and his Mama. Pure and simple. After we said our good-byes and I stumbled walked away with BOY, I gave BOY a big squeeze and said:

You now WHAT, BOY! If you hadn't had to go to the bathroom we would never have stopped and we would have missed the firemen!

I think he got it, but not with the same sense of fate that I did.

Well, since I'm wanting to look my best for Wednesday night's rendezvous, I better go do another steam treatment. I've discovered the most amazing spa-like skin treatment. 1) Walk into your kitchen soon after you dishwasher's cycle has finished 2) open the door and 3) stick your head in. You might initially balk at the blast of hot steam, but once you can see again it is really quite effective. And much more optimistic than sticking your head into an oven after a long day.

I leave you with this gem. It is not the New Math or even the old math. This is what I like to call Ancient Math...

The Equation:

Husband + 2 children go to local park to burn off energy

- Wife who has 2 hours in her own house by herself

= CARNAL KNOWLEDGE that evening...

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