Monday, April 7, 2008

Upcoming rendezvous on Bossy's Excellent Road Trip, FIREMEN! & Ancient Math Equation

On Wednesday night I am going to meet a bunch of LA area bloggers. BOSSY is passing through town on her road trip and we're all hooking up at a well known cantina. I plan to wear fishnets something suitable and Tootsie will definitely NOT be wearing CROCS. Did you get that? I GET TO MEET TOOTSIE ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT! If she shows up. I just peeked over there on her blog and she recently pulled an all nighter. So...Mr. Farklepants might just ground her. I'm hoping he'll be lenient this time. If you hear about any sirens in S. California going'll know it's us! Speaking of sirens...

Today the most EXQUISITE thing happened. BOY and I were tuned in to the Magic Fairy of the Universe today. Oh, YES, our sights must have been all aligned in Jupiter, Mars & Venus at once. The Magic Fairy waved her wand and produced a firetruck with 4, count them, 4 GORGEOUS hunkin' firemen. The kind of men that my girlfriends and I used to refer to as R&R. Rough and Ready. And they were READY for us.

It started out innocently enough, BOY & I were making an emergency pit stop so that he could go to the bathroom. We zoomed into a little strip mall with a coffee shop, and as we were exiting the vehicle I briefly considered the bushes as an emergency target in front of the car. But, while I scanned the parking lot for interlopers, my eyes spotted Big Blue Eyes, Big Blond with dimples, Big Sexy and Big Older, But Still Sexy sitting atop their Big Red fire truck. Perhaps not the time for a whiz in the bushes, although I'm sure they would have appreciated it. But, you know image is everything. Especially when your hair was blown dry perfectly - for once. So...we hit the coffee shop running, made our bathroom stop and headed back out to the parking lot. I then dragged BOY over to the fire truck:

Let's go talk to the firemen, BOY. I'm sure they'll want to say hello to YOU. [Me First! Me! Me!]

Well, hello there, says Big Blue Eyes.

HI! The mother BOY said, batting her eyelashes smiling up at him.

And within seconds, another fireman, Big Blond with Dimples, got out of the truck and proceeded to give us a complete tour of the truck. I'm not talking 5 minutes here, people! NO... we are talking at least 15! Big Blond with Dimples let BOY try out the side seat & look out the window, opened EVERY single compartment and explained what was in it, answered all 8,999 questions poised by BOY, pulled out the heart monitor equipment [I think he thought I was going to swoon], showed us his Paramedic badge on his very manly muscled arm sleeve, showed us every single hose BIG and small, had BOY climb up to the top of the truck to touch the ladders, and as a finale BOY got to sit in the driver's seat and do the steering wheel. Big Older, But Still Sexy was in the passenger seat up front and jiggled the seat up and down so it seemed like BOY was taking a ride. Heaven for Preschool BOY and his Mama. Pure and simple. After we said our good-byes and I stumbled walked away with BOY, I gave BOY a big squeeze and said:

You now WHAT, BOY! If you hadn't had to go to the bathroom we would never have stopped and we would have missed the firemen!

I think he got it, but not with the same sense of fate that I did.

Well, since I'm wanting to look my best for Wednesday night's rendezvous, I better go do another steam treatment. I've discovered the most amazing spa-like skin treatment. 1) Walk into your kitchen soon after you dishwasher's cycle has finished 2) open the door and 3) stick your head in. You might initially balk at the blast of hot steam, but once you can see again it is really quite effective. And much more optimistic than sticking your head into an oven after a long day.

I leave you with this gem. It is not the New Math or even the old math. This is what I like to call Ancient Math...

The Equation:

Husband + 2 children go to local park to burn off energy

- Wife who has 2 hours in her own house by herself

= CARNAL KNOWLEDGE that evening...

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  1. Well, I'm swooning. Hoses and blue eyes and dimples, oh my!

    Guess it pays to leave the house once in a while!

    I'm envious of your blogger get-together. You get to meet Tootsie, Tootsie gets to meet you... I'm jealous of both of you. But have a great great time!

  2. Total carnal knowledge. I bet boy was in firetruck heaven...he will probably always remember that.

  3. See, kids do come in handy sometimes!

    One of the first things I learned about being in Auburn is that the girls in the dorms routinely burn their microwave popcorn. Apparently, this little ol' place is casting central for Fireman Idol.

    Have fun tomorrow night!

  4. I'm thinking that those firemen were unto you - but played along anyway for BOY's sake. Can't wait to read about the bloggy meet up!

  5. Serendipity. It's a wonderful thing. So far no one interesting has showed up at any of our pee places. Our equation is Daddy + 2 kids on walk down and back up the driveway - 1/2 mile total = 2 naps AT THE SAME TIME = Afternoon delight.

  6. So one day last spring, Middle's preschool class had a field trip to our fire station and Boy and I went along.
    There was one firefighter in particular!
    The others were giving him some crap about how he was on Deal or No Deal as a suitcase model when they had all firefighters one time.
    I whispered to the mom next to me, "I can see why he'd get picked, hoo baby!"
    And she looked at me like "huh? what are you talking about?"
    Um, hello? are you alive? did you not notice the hunky?

  7. My brother in law is a fireman and the, um, kids...yeah kids, love to go and visit the station. It's such a treat for, um, them.

    Can't wait to meet you tomorrow!

  8. You would think that men would be more attuned to the equation...

    Wow. The potty break sounds aaaaamazing.

    I am so jealous...Bossy and Tootsie and JCK all at the same place and I am miles and miles away.

    Have fun.

  9. Time alone and a blogger gathering? You are a lucky girl. Have fun.

  10. a blog get together? nice.

    now if you could just get the firemen to stop by....

  11. This is one of those times where I wish my "Central" was a little more "southern". Oh well. Hope ya'll have fun. Have a margarita (or 2) for me.

    On another note...did he show you ALL his hoses? Now THAT would be a tour.

  12. Let me get this straight.

    Time alone + blog friends = bliss

    *le sigh*

    Have fun!!

  13. I couldn't help but read this in a sexy "hey big fella" kind of voice in my head the whole time.


  14. do you plan to roleplay a fire scene with your hubby tonight? ;)

  15. I'm sure there were only BIG hoses.

    All we got was a wave from the garbage men today. RC was pumped; MM, less so.

    Note to self: Light more fires.


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