Saturday, April 5, 2008

Questions for Motherscribe

I've been getting quite a few questions in my comments lately and I thought this would be a good time to answer them.

Janet from Adventures in the 32-Aker Wood asks: Did you order that book yet? You know I wrote that post just for you. Janet, I KNEW IT! And from the moment I read your post I saw that you were dangling luscious VIGGO just out of range. You tease! SKOVBO, a collection of photographs and poems, by VIGGO MORTENSEN looks intriguing. Although I saw that it didn't come with a life size poster of Viggo, which is an impediment. I may just have to put it on my Christmas wish list and cling to the memories of our time together.

Barbra from Not Just Barbra asks: So, we're carpooling next Wednesday night right? You betcha, Girlfriend! We're off to tackle the wilds of Calabasas or the Steaminess of Hollywood. The meeting place for our assignation with BOSSY hasn't been fully decided yet. Just throw a bunch of LA people together and you have a perfect situation of indecisionitis. Can't wait!

Flutter asks in response to my Thank You Note Shame post: I almost always do, wanna hire me to do yours? Well, Flutter, it sounds a bit kinky, but YES would be delighted for you to do mine.

Questions from my poem Chocolate Orgasm:

Jennifer, from Thursday Drive asks: Is this how you got E's attention? Actually no... when E first laid eyes on me I was wearing a very conservative suit and using someone else's words in a training film for a corporation. Perhaps he saw through the attire?

Angie, from Keep Believing, asks: Need a cigarette? Honey, never smoke while nibbling on chocolate delicacies. Kills the afterglow.

Manic Mommy asks: So...what exactly were you doing sometime between 1992 and 1993? Let's see... I was single. I left LA a struggling actress in the summer of 1992 to move back to Atlanta and turned in my waitress apron for paying acting jobs for a while. And I met my husband in the spring of 1993. We both seemed to like chocolate and... Oh, Oh, OH!!!

And on my post on wanting to be a good mother Manic Mommy asks: Montessori kept popping into my head as I read this post. Have you looked into it as an option? I actually did look into Montessori, but since BOY has been in a play based program for 2 years and Montessori programs have a different way of doing things, I decided that my other options or possibilities would also be play based schools. (With the idea being if there is a move, to keep things as consistent as possible. Hopefully it will be a moot point, and we'll be able to create a new plan for BOY in his current school.) Thanks for the suggestion, MM! She asks a lot of questions, this Manic Mommy.

Questions from my Where I want to be 10 years from now...written in 1993 post:

Kalynne from The Philosopher Mom asks: But...where in this scenario are your kids? My lovely Kalynne, although you yourself have a life resembling Cheaper by the Dozen , [one of my all time FAVORITE childhood books-by the way], back in 1993 I was not exactly thinking about children. No, I was single and thinking of ME and a possible dream career path. (Personal note to Kalynne: please don't correct me in the comments by saying that you ONLY have 9 children. You get what I mean. Let's not be PICKY about the math.)

Suzanne from A Golden Journal asks: how does this post compare with where you are today? Are you surprised by how far you've come? Do you recognize your progress as a writer? Suz, I feel pretty good about where I am today with my writing. I'm trying to focus more on the production of it, the almost daily writing, rather than it being "my best ever." Just the fact that I am writing regularly after years of just "talking about doing it" is empowering. I don't feel surprised with how far I've come, because I don't really think I've gone that far. That said, I'm hoping to go further in my risk taking as a writer and to really stretch myself. I do see the progress. Some of the writing pieces that I've been digging up from the boxes in the garage are really bad. I like the Chocolate Orgasm poem because it is different, but I also want to work on it a bit more. It doesn't feel quite right yet. This blog is a great space for practice.

Questions from the Evidently wrinkle cream should not be mixed with hemmoroid cream post:

Purple Teacup asks: WHERE did you get the top illustration? Charles Reid did my header. He designed it for me. It is actually a pen & ink painting with watercolor, and then he digitized the painting. I have the original painting and a couple of sketches! And she adds: I just can't put something that goes down there on my face..... Purple Teacup, you will be greatly relieved to know that the hemmoroid cream had not been used in those DOWN THERE areas.

Jen from Rants & Raves asks:
1. What wrinkle cream do you use, and does it work? (I need to invest in some) Jen, I have been random in my selections, but just yesterday I heard about an amazing night cream from THE SOURCE, our own Ms. Tootsie Farklepants.
2. Did you ever try the hemmoroid cream on its own, just out of curiosity? Jen, don't you think this question is A LITTLE PERSONAL!? My GOD woman, have you NO restraint!?
3. Did you tell your friend that story? I did not. She reads my blog sporadically, and has not mentioned that I seemed a little off the day of the her son's baptism. Although...her nose was a bit twitchy on that day. I believe there appeared to be an odor coming from my undereye region.

MamaGeek asks: Make that a double OUCH. And obviously things did turn out FINE. Right? Right? Well, MamaGeek, I guess it is all in your perspective. I usually wear a large hat and oversized sunglasses in public.

Questions from The Product of a Good Mother post:
Happy Geek asks: Sooo, how does one get glue out of the comforter? (I will need to know this someday!) HG, do you really consider me a Domestic Goddess? I am extremely flattered. I am happy to report that the white glue stuff comes out in the washing machine.

Questions from the Pink Trees are a Catastrophe! post:

Domestically Challenged asks: Maybe cranky ladies have pink trees? Well... I guess that depends on what you mean by "have pink trees." And where those pink trees are located. I'm suspecting stuffed up the gluteal region, below the cleft. Is that what you meant? Umm..perhaps not.

On my post about BOY mainlining jelly beans and another parent's comment on this:

Jenn from Juggling Life asks: So you're damned if you do, damned if you don't? Yes, Jenn, I do believe that could be my Sad Sack Mommy's Motto.

Mrs. G asks: Aren't most of us just doing the best that we can? My dear Mrs. G, how kind of you to think that I am doing the best that I can. I would like to think that this is true, however... on this particular day in question I FAILED TO MENTION another dramatic development, which was that I had to jump fully clothed into a swimming pool to rescue BOY who was lit on SUGAR from jelly beans and thought he could swim. BOY was fine. As for his mother, what could have been a sexy, wet and wild look 10 years ago just looked soggy. But, soggy was doing the best that I could. I'm sure you concur.

Sober Briquette asks: Doling out the sweets is my territory - gotta win them back over by the end of the day, right? Yes, Ms. Briquette, I used this age old candied method in encouraging pooping in the potty. E obliged. He'll do anything for candy.

On my 6 word memoir meme post It's now JackO'Clock, and all's well:

HRH from June Cleaver Nirvana asks: Did you find yourself then thinking in 6 word segments for the rest of the day?? Yes. I. Did. You. Little. Wench.

An interesting question from the post Just your ordinary day...

Painted Maypole asks: but do you have your own puzzle? PM, I am a BIT unclear as to your question. Are you saying that I am SO popular in my own mind that I have my own photo puzzle? Or were you calling me a dinosaur? If so, it SMITES. You, YOU ingenue, YOU!

Thanks for the questions! I hope I have answered them to your satisfaction.

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  1. Uh, I meant did you ever try the cream under your eyes?! Without the wrinkle cream, in other words? Yes, I have no restraint, but even I don't want to know THAT answer!

  2. see? and i never ask questions because i'm afraid it will make me look like i don't know it all.

  3. hahaha. That was fun. I never noticed that people just spontaneously ask you questions in their comments! Maybe a weekly segment is in order...

  4. I'm still stuck on six words.

    Hemmoroid cream alone works quite well.

    Saved your son's life? Great mom!

  5. You are so organized to remember and respond to all those--wow!

  6. You are so blessed that you saw Boy fall in the pool and could jump in after him. I was struck by this, because this weekend my brother-in-law (who is a firefighter) instructed us all to go hug our children. He had been to a call where a three year old boy had drowned.

  7. I think E must have sensed that if chocolate could do THAT for you, he had an easy road ahead.

    I've done the pool jump, too. All the bystanders must have been surprised that I could move that fast, since I don't look at all athletic.

    Mommy adrenaline, as I'm sure you know.

  8. this was hysterical. and i see we share a common love of viggo. i posted a haiku about him a while back. ;)

  9. This only makes me wish (EVEN MORE) that you were my next door neighbor. Big hat and sunglasses? Now I'm visualizing you as Angelina Jolie - all hip and beautiful like that! :)

    This was FUN!

  10. At least you have memories. All I have is the Lord of the Rings trilogy, extended version. And a calendar from 2004. With way too much Orlando and not nearly enough Viggo.

  11. Thank you for directing my attention to this post and my desperately-awaited answer, since I was in Soccer Coach -- er, Climate Heaven, and not keeping up with my Google Reader.

    That Gilbreth book is what inspired me, too! If only I drove a Pierce Arrow...

  12. I have a question for you...

    How many Jack & Coke's had you enjoyed when you typed this out?!

    Nice work!


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