Thursday, August 4, 2011

JCK prepares her wardrobe for BlogHer11

JCK is not what you would call a fashion maven. Maven, yes. Fashion Maven...hardly. In the last 7 1/2 years since JCK has had children, things have grown terribly sad in the apparel department. You see, JCK shops at stores like Target and Rite Aid for her clothes. Rite Aid, you ask? Rite Aid, indeed. JCK loves deals, and JCK loves comfort. JCK loves finding gorgeous flip-flops. She figures if her toe nails are polished, and her flip flops are pretty, she's looking pretty good.

Two days ago, JCK had to lean out of her CCZ - Couture Comfort Zone. JCK will be attending the BlogHer11 conference this weekend, and JCK's wardrobe needs to kick it up a notch. Without the garlic. Thank you, though, Emeril. So, JCK spent Tuesday morning going through her wardrobe. She had to empty out a drawer of t-shirts to get to the good stuff. It was still there, just a little rumpled. Kind of like JCK. She dove deep into the back of her closet, discovering all kinds of fun things. Some of which actually could be worn.

Over 3,000 bloggers are expected this weekend in San Diego at the BlogHer11 conference. Women, and a few men, will be descending from all over the country, and beyond. Women who share their love for writing and blogging, and for shoes.... JCK thinks that women love shoes like they love cupcakes. Finding a pair of fun shoes is akin to a perfect chocolate cupcake with sprinkles, and you get to hog it all to yourself. JCK hates shopping for shoes. Because she always develops these infatuations, and has to be torn away from making a scene. So, JCK is planning her clothes around shoes she already has. Even if those shoes are a bit scuffed and dusty.

While JCK rediscovered her closet, she found that she was lacking two important items. A little black skirt and new fishnets. So, JCK took a deep breath and put on a little sassy skirt and sleeveless top, and headed out to find her two essentials. As everyone knows, in order to find fun, funky clothes, you have to dress seriously. Not practical clothes that you put on to pick up your kids from camp. Those most darling children who will be lathered in mud and sunblock. So, with her serious mission, JCK slipped on some of her prettiest Rite Aid flip-flops, the shiny turquoise ones, and headed out.

JCK had a particular store in mind, so she drove there. She had to take a big loop around the block, as it had been so many years since she had visited this store that she had forgotten where the parking entrance was. JCK is a little spatially challenged, anyway. Well, JCK can tell you that it was a good thing she took that extra wide loop around the block, because as she pulled up to the store front...the store was Poof! Gone! Poof! Kind of like the economy and JCK's waistline. Sadly, this threw JCK into a brief tailspin. Quel horreur! Where in the world would she find a little black skirt and fishnets?

JCK debated calling her husband. JCK's husband is what you would call a man of fashion, him of REI ruggedness and Sports Chalet men's briefs. Best of all, other than that JCK gets to see him in those briefs, is that he has a discerning eye for women's fashion. However, JCK restrained herself. She did NOT need help, by GOD, she was a woman! Hear her ROAR. The daughter of a woman who will shop until she drops, she, JCK, had to stand strong. It is to be noted that the shop until you drop gene seems to have bypassed JCK.

Like a bolt of lightening, JCK was struck with a new place to go. Eureka!..said the person in the car behind JCK. There was a hand gesture that JCK could not understand, and JCK moved on. As this story should. JCK was so pleased with herself that she almost missed the turn a few blocks away, but just in time she cut in front of another car and pulled into the parking lot.

JCK doesn't know why, but she always manages to enter this particular department store at the perfume section. JCK doesn't have a problem with perfume, per se. Except she really does. When she walks through this section it often induces a stabbing pain in her temples from the eau de WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SPRAY THAT STUFF ALL OVER ME? She is often besieged by women who want to either spray her or cover her with make-up. JCK is an easy target.

JCK quickly veered off into the men's section, just to avoid Priscilla the Perfumery Person. Then she spotted the women's department, and headed off Mr. Rick I work in Retail, by gasping and thrusting her chin forward. JCK had arrived... Section after section of women's apparel...from classic lines to funky chic, JCK was overwhelmed. She slowly made her way through...each area opening up into another. JCK ran her fingers over the fabrics, and let the material slide over her arm. She felt an OOOOOooo escape her ruby red lips. JCK was this close to rubbing her face all over one dress. As if in a dream, meeting an old lover, her sense memory remembered this feeling.

May I help you? about saved by the sales lady. JCK smiled weakly and told her that she was looking for a short black skirt, something fun, that she could wear to a disco party. The sales lady grew excited.

A disco party! How fun! Is it someone's birthday?

JCK paused. No, I'm going to a conference and there will be a disco party. The saleslady paused.

JCK debated over whether to go into more detail, and she refrained. She could have told her that the BlogHer conference is this amazing place where women gather together to share their passion for blogging -writing on all kinds of subjects. And, where they also enjoy parties. Even Disco Parties.

Yes, JCK said. It WILL be FUN.

I think there are some FUN skirts over here, said the sales lady.

The sales lady then took JCK through so many sections that her head began to spin. JCK's, not the sales lady's. They went through Calvin Klein and Jones New York, they saw sights that JCK had only dreamed of. They saw things JCK had never dreamed of. And, then they arrived at BCBG and JCK was victorious. There it was! JCK's little black skirt. And, they even had it in her size. Better yet, it was affordable. Well, if JCK cuts out fruit from her family's diet for this week.

JCK was whisked into the dressing room, and the little black skirt fit! Hurrah! JCK and the sales lady tittered together, as the skirt was rung up on the register. When JCK brandished her temporary driver's license, the sales lady advised her that she, JCK, should follow-up with the DMV, as they are known for taking months to mail your license to you. JCK smiled. She didn't want to brag, but she and the DMV? Why they are practically Bosom Buddies. The DMV would never, ever take longer than the 2-3 weeks that they had promised JCK. Oh, but the saleslady never know.

You will be glad to know that JCK had only one more stop to complete her shopping experience. She headed downstairs to the hosiery department. At first JCK was terribly frightened that they were out of fishnets. She saw all kinds of interesting sights, like denim leggings and footless tights. Then she spotted them! Right in front of her pointy nose. Black fishnets! JCK made it back to camp in time to pick up her sweet children, and all was good with the world.

JCK is now almost...ready for BlogHer11. She has her suitcase packed, her lap top and cell phone at the ready, and plans to spend time with a few of her peeps. Like her wonderful friend Jenn from Juggling Life. JCK is very excited to be able to spend 3 days surrounded by other people who share her passion for blogging and writing. It's going to be long as JCK can stay awake long enough to put on the black skirt and fishnets for the Disco party...

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  1. Oh, have fun! I'm sure you will rock the fishnets :)

  2. I am sorry to have missed you in the fishnets--maybe at Taboo?!

  3. I hope BlogHer was fun; sorry I couldn't make it this year. Can't wait to hear more from you bloggers who made it to the fun 'n games!

  4. It was a treat to see you in San Diego. I'm so glad we got to do it and so grateful to Jenn for facilitating. You rocked the skirt and the fishnets, it must be said. Hope you get to show them off again very soon.


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