Saturday, October 3, 2009

And, is the "happy family" truly happy, or is it an illusion?

Perhaps we are all...but caged animals in the zoo. Listen... These are the rules. You are allowed to pace the length and breadth of the cage, but you are not allowed out into the world.

STAY ALERT! You must be ready to be viewed at any hour. Hold yourself well. People are watching. BE CAREFUL! The gorilla next door may suddenly want your cage. So, don't get comfortable on your shredded mat, reeking of feral spray. WAKE UP! Nothing is your own. Really. Nothing at all. Except your thoughts. And those, sometimes far, far too perilous to unravel.

How do we look to others? Perception. It is a funny thing. Does one family reflect happiness and another seem just ...ordinary? And, is the "happy family" truly happy, or is it an illusion? A painted picture labored over for hours to be held up as true. Is the ordinary family really the happy one? Can you quantify happiness? Rage...remorse ...revulsion?

What if you stretch yourself beyond what you thought possible? And there is no foothold when you reach the end. Suddenly... there YOU are. Dangling. Vulnerable. Raw. Tired. Your safety net no longer there.

Retreat. Reassess. Reveal. Then, reel yourself back in. Because, you must... It's time to clean out the cage.

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  1. Sometimes, no, always, your writing amazes me.

    This topic is definitely a fascinating one. While some families have worse problems than others, there is no such thing as a big old happy family. Everyone has issues. Even the ones who want everybody else think that their family is perfect.

  2. Jason is so right--even when you may "overall" be a big, happy family there are moments, hours and days of unhappiness in every family.

  3. You have again touched upon Truth again here, J.

    I believe that no family is entirely happy 100% of the time. We all have our moments -- good and bad, disillusioned and hopeful, breezy and frustrated. I like to think the difficult times are meant to keep our feet on the ground, to rub the nerves raw enough to remind us that we still feel. And the great moments, the happiest times, are there to give us a glimpse of the best life can be. They help us tap into that immense well of gratitude we can drink from whenever we choose.

    But admitting the parts of life that are struggle -- exposing them openly -- is itself difficult. It takes courage.

    Thanks for being courageous, J. And for using your voice the way you do.

    - Julia at Midwest Moms

  4. Awesome post - there's much to think about here.

  5. I love this post so So SO much! It hits right home, my friend. It does...cos' I am currently 'counseling' such a family....

  6. I am just curious about the circumstances that led up to this post, JCK? What's up?

  7. Hang in there friend. You have a wonderful family, there is so much love among you. But it's never always easy, and somehow it always seems the burden falls on moms a little heavier than everyone else.

    Hang in there.


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