The familiar is heady

As I drove in tonight late...the street quiet, most houses with their lights out, I was listening to NPR -hearing someone speaking from Paris and Berlin. Places that have hijacked spots in my wanderlust soul. Yet, I was struck with how much comfort I derive from the same daily path. I drive up my quiet street, lights off, cars parked neatly in driveways. The familiar is heady, when the lure of different is just that... a glimpse into another life. I'd love it for an hour or a day or maybe a week. But, then I'd stare wistfully at my street of warm habit and know that here is where I belong...

I am not a child anymore. I control where I live and how I conduct my life. I hope that this life of understated perception and wild imaginings is a world in which my children will blossom. That small thing...which is truly large, is what I wish for this night...

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Forgive me, children...

There are those days in which you wish you had dreamt it. The gnashing of teeth and brooding brow. The roiling stomach and pounding head. Yet, the realization occurs to you that this emotion is a choice and a path you have wandered down...

Today was such a day. From work obligations and tasks to constant interruptions, so that even the most simple of goals was broken into many layers. I wish I had the insight earlier. To know that this will pass, it is a phase, and only a moment in time. The minutia of a much bigger life not at odds.

It was not my finest hour. To pull over onto a side street and step out of the car. Telling my children I needed 2 minutes in which to breathe and not lose my temper. But, I already had. Perhaps I saved us all from some screaming. But, the power of the wrathful mother falls heavily upon small people. How I remember... I hope they don't.

I got back in the car. Driving to an activity that was not mine. Again. On another day, meaning nothing. Today...meaning the bitterness of someone whose needs were not met.

Parenting can be so bloody hard. I am good at it most days. But, there are some I wish had never seen the light of day. And, I'm sure my children feel the same...

Our night ended with soft, whispered stories and cuddles on the couch. It is that which I am left with, the earlier debacle... wisps of black smoke. Sometimes the quiet and moment to moment with my children is all that is needed to turn it around. A breathing space and memories shared. Forgive me, children...

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launching a call for great time management ideas!

Every once in a while JCK gets a bee in her bonnet about her need for organizational tips - life management/time management - the key word here is management. Over the course of this blog's life, JCK has snagged some great tips on ways that YOU organize and manage your time. It's the start of a new year, and JCK is... launching a call for great time management ideas! Come one and all! Please drop by and leave your little gems.

These are the things that JCK would specifically like tips on, but feel free to add your own:

Family time
Time with spouse
Family Work
Working full-time
Meal Planning
Grocery Shopping
Time with friends (includes calls/emails/letters)
Time for self
Exercise
Writing time
Bill paying
Thank you notes
The daily mail...
Sleep...*sigh*

And...Those projects that never go away: boxes, and boxes, and boxes of photographs that need sorting, tossing and keeping.

JCK is going to start it by disclosing a tip that she just recently figured out. Many of you will be saying, OH....DUH, JCK. And, Seriously??!! But, JCK is proud of herself. Even if it took her several years to figure out. Are you ready for this?

Time management: getting kids breakfast/ready for school - without stress and everyone being crabby.

Tip: Get the kids up 30 minutes earlier. This simple thing has transformed the Motherscribe weekday mornings.

OK, your turn! JCK is awaiting your tips. So, pull up a chair, pour yourself a stiff one - or a caffeinated one, or just get in the ZONE... and let those brilliant time management tips fly out!

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Wordless Wednesday- Nutcracker Green Room

This photograph is completely out of focus, but there is something about it that draws me in. A quick moment in time of my daughter in her Peppermint costume -back stage in the Green Room...before The Little Nutcracker performance (December.)

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Friggin'

JCK is often moved by the conversations she has with her children. They fill her with hope and awe and perhaps...trepidation.

GIRL: Mommy, you know how YOU and Daddy say "Friggin'?"

JCK: ... I don't think your daddy says "Friggin'"

GIRL: Well, you know how YOU say, "Friggin'?" You should really work on not saying it, because that gives BOY the idea. Then he thinks it is OK to say "Friggin'."

JCK will take this under advisement.

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Life isn't meant to be lived in a ship with no one at the helm...

Oh, I'd love to get together...but. My life is so... crazy! When can we get together? Can you believe it's been... six months? I haven't talked to you in... years. I would love to, but...

JCK is determined to not be that person this year. JCK is setting out for FACE TIME. JCK is going to sit across from her friends and WOman handle them. JCK is not going to let the flow of life Sucker Punch her. JCK is steering the ship this year. She isn't locked up in the hold. No, JCK is the lady pirate with a gap toothed smile and enough teeth to pull off that "too busy" stopper of succor, and let it rip! Life isn't meant to be lived in a ship with no one at the helm...

JCK is going to expand the definition of FACE TIME. In JCK's definition this means...

• prioritizing relationships

• seeing friends in person
  

• pulling up a chair, picking up the phone and settling in for a long chat
  
  

JCK would also like to give a special shout-out to her blogger community. JCK is sure they have all but given up on her, but she asks them to bear with her. JCK is coming back, Sistahs! JCK knows that you saved her proverbial ass during those years of ankle biting children and no naps today and ye gads...the poop explosions. JCK knows who you are. And, JCK is grateful. JCK is raising her glass to you tonight and saying...thank you. Thank you for your friendship and reaching out across the darkness via the waves of Le Internet. JCK is humbled. JCK is...talking too much. But, JCK knows you will forgive her.

Face Time folks. It's what life is about. Texting and Facebook and Twitter are all titillating, but there ain't nothing real like Face Time. Resolution #2- FACE TIME with friends. More of it. Scheduled...

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But, first I'm going to savor 2011 a bit longer...

I'm not sure what it is this year, but I find myself holding on to the holidays. Usually I am ready for the ornaments to come down from the tree, and the Christmas tree to hit the road. Usually...but not this year. This year, I am wanting to sit under the tree...for just one more night, and soak in it's magical golden glow.

2012 sounds good and rounded and full - of the possibility of circling back to all that feels right within. I'm not sure how I know this, but I do. I guess I'm more of an even number gal, yet I always like to take the left aisle in a crowded theater. Safety in the circling back, yet a little adventure to keep me on my toes.

Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Oh, it's that inevitable...wrestling match with the passage of time. And, wanting to hold on to all that feels lovely...

Holding on to...the afternoon of making cookies with my children in the mad scramble before Christmas, and delivering fresh baked cookies on Christmas eve.

Joy riding the myth of Santa with two children who want it to be true.

Holding on to their words, oh...the words these small people utter...

GIRL: Mommy, what if we see Santa flying by tonight when we are out looking at the Christmas lights?! Wouldn't that be cool!?

Yes, my darling GIRL...it would. I think I hear the jingle of bells.

Holding on to...my daughter in another Little Nutcracker - this time putting on her own stage makeup, adorable in her Peppermint costume.

Holding on to...the vision of my BOY on a curiosity quest - everyday.


Holding on to...my daughter realizing she can read a chapter book. Pausing every few pages to ask about a word, she finished her first one in two days. Passing on the love of books is a gift. Seeing your children embrace it...now, that's a treasure.


2012...I'm readying myself for you. But, first I'm going to savor 2011 a bit longer...

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