Thursday, May 14, 2009

It is a temporal existence, all of it

It is the time of year when spring is dangling over into summer. A hint of heat to come, bringing with it scents of wild jasmine and the soothing drone of honey bees going about their labor. The new, welcome feel of cool grass beneath hot feet. That moment when the sun is down, but still casting its light across the sky. tea is exchanged for sweet tea, iced, with fresh mint.

New growth is evident wherever I turn. I see it all around me, and especially in my children. It is as if time is speeding up, yet can still see it in slow motion. Like riding on a carousel that doesn't stop.

I don't want to be six too soon, says my BOY sleepily.

You won't be six soon, BOY. You have lots of time to enjoy being 5, I say soothingly. Yet, I don't believe it.

Mommy, how old will you be when I'm 90?, asks my GIRL.

I will be 132, I say.

Oh, I I wish I could see my GIRL at 90. But, it is in the here and now where I belong. Noticing the sprinkle of freckles across the small nose, and her rosebud mouth pursed in concentration as she colors in her pirate poster. Watching her hug her brother for so long, and him right there so with her in that hug, that I see tears fill another mother's eyes with the beauty of it.

It is a temporal existence, all of it. The soft evening light has vanished once again into darkness. Yet, when the lullabies have been sung, and the chatter has dropped away, sometimes... I imagine that I can catch time in my hand and hold it...before it swirls away.

Last month I passed the two year mark since starting this blog, Motherscribe. I thank you for taking the time to stop by.

Painting by Chuck Gumpert
Entitled, "Between Darkness and Wonder"

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  1. These words and the thoughts and feelings they describe are beautiful. Gorgeous writing on the mystery of time.

    Thank you this morning for the chance to read this post.

  2. I love this post - seriously.

  3. Hang on 2 what little that lasts.

  4. It's been a great two years getting to know you.

  5. Do you really want to see them when they are 90? I don't think I could take it. Already my heart breaks when I am confronted by their physical frailties. How could I stand seeing them dealing with being 90.

  6. Reading your writing enriches my experience of motherhood. I want you to know that.

    I often wonder about the adults my children will become -- they are all so different. But what a blessing to be able to tuck them in with love.

    Thank you, J.

    - Julia at Midwest Moms

  7. So beautiful, JCK. While I was reading it, I kept thinking how thankful your children will be later that you recorded these moments here so eloquently - so eloquently!

    And congrats on the old blogiversary!

  8. Your first sentence said it all: "when spring is dangling over into summer". I actually stopped reading and thought, I thought it was still spring! How quickly time flies by...and there is nothing we can do to slow its passage except seize every moment.

  9. PS. where did you find that beautiful painting??? I love it!!!!

  10. beautiful

    happy blogiversary. so glad motherscribe was born. ;)

  11. Gorgeousness.

    My kids still have that sense of me being 40 all the while they grow older & get married & move on...I want them to be right.

    Congratulations, two year old :D

  12. Ah, time standing still. It does feel that way when they're complaining or whining or screaming "no YOU shut up!" to each other or when they can't fall asleep. Otherwise? It's the speed of light.

  13. Oh, and happy 2 yr blogoversary, JCK! I've enjoyed my 1-1/2 yrs with you : )

  14. Happy blogoversary! And you know, they're making great strides in medicine. We might actually be around at 132 to see our 90-year-old kids. Albeit probably not with a lot of our original parts . . .


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