Thursday, December 11, 2008

That her son is freebasing...the Christmas season.

If JCK didn't know better, she'd be convinced. Beyond a shadow of a doubt. That her son is freebasing...the Christmas season. Snorting it whole. SUCH bouncing and shrieking and mind blowing chatter has come to rain down on JCK's abode, that indeed she is truly going mad. And this frenzy is only exacerbated by the BOY's stuffed animal dog, Puppy, who of several days prior started barking. While barking alone can make THE BEST of women weary, this high pitched YIP YIPPING is surely going to send JCK over the edge...

Hyper was not even invented before BOY came along. JCK knows this in her marrow. And if they all survive the Christmas holiday, which appears doubtful unless great gulps of whiskey and chocolate are imbibed simultaneously by JCK more frequently than is prudent, it is surmised that BOY will be VICTORIOUS! With his little sister, GIRL, stoically by his side. Their parents...what's left of them... will be mere shadows of themselves. Well, except for possible bloating from whiskey & chocolate.

And if ye believe that the GIRL is innocent, let JCK assure you...she is not! What BOY delivers in shrieks and mad pinball body bouncing, GIRL carries herself forward with WHINING. Such as to render her mother...almost dead, sadly not deaf, if she has to hear it once more.

And then the sucker punch...for despite these volatile eruptions and mind numbing energetic outbursts...they are terribly, utterly, adorable. And for THAT JCK is the biggest mush head in the world. Albeit a mush head with occasional migraines...

GIRL: Well, you see, see, we're the sneak team.

JCK: The SNEAK team?

BOY: Yes.

JCK: What's the SNEAK team?

GIRL: That's when we go into the kitchen like...when you are IN THE SHOWER and SNEAK STUFF, like...MILK!


JCK says trying to look stern: I see.

BOY: You want to be on THE SNEAK TEAM, mom?

JCK: Can I?

BOY: Oh, yes. But, YOU have to get up in THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! And sneak into the kitchen.

JCK: Oh. I already do that.

*****Photo of Sneaky Robotic BOY and Witchy GIRL practicing the art of disguise. Halloween 2008.

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  1. *huge laugh*
    hey! I wanna be in the sneak team too!!!! And I'm pretty sure I can pass the qualifying rounds....*laugh*

  2. HA! Love this. Isn't it amazing how they can be so darn cute, yet so exhausting and frustrating at the same time?

  3. Aaah, for the energy and enthusiasm of youth!

  4. OH! I LOVE it when my kids are being sneaky, but sort of want me to know they're being sneaky, and they're doing something I am actually totally fine with. That is SO CUTE! And fun for them!

  5. Ha! That's awesome!

    But if going into the kitchen in the middle of the night is all it takes to be on the sneak team, then I'm a platinum lifetime member, baby!

  6. So cute. My four year old is totally into the holidays this year, too.

    And I'm so glad BOY isn't just plain old freebasing. That would be very bad.

  7. Haha! Good response!

    Shall I send you some industrial strength ear defenders for Christmas?

  8. I wish I had a QUARTER as much energy. And some whiskey.

    That's one thing that evolution did right: Made the offspring cute. Because if they weren't adorable, we'd surely eat them. Or something.

  9. Psst, Boy. You may want to re-read the Sneak Team by laws. I think you may have committed an infraction by letting the cat out of the bag.

  10. I love it! My husband steals bowls of sugar cereal in the middle of the night!

  11. Ah the holiday free-basing, my number one reason why I am thankful I do not teach school anymore.
    It's awesome when they want you to join their "sneak" team.

  12. the sneak team... hee hee hee

    yup, I tend to sneak chocolate, and halloween candy. ;)


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