Sunday, October 17, 2010

You see, my children are 9 months and 27 days apart

We are in that golden period in which my two children are the same digit. For 63 days they share a number. This year it is 6. You see, my children are 9 months and 27 days apart. Every family has its story. That is ours.

It is debatable whether biologically speaking it is possible to have children that close together. I have been told it is...possible. For us, it was the blessing and miracle of our adoption of BOY, soon followed by another surprise...a pregnancy, which produced GIRL.

I confess to occasionally tossing off the fact that my children are 10 months apart, and then pausing...watching the wheels turn, and the eyes widen of those who are recipients of my little blurt-out.

Somehow I see them imagining the horror of having sex so soon after the get pregnant AGAIN!!?? It gives me a bit of a naughty...ha ha - particularly on those days when I could use a ...YOU MUST BE A WARRIOR WOMAN...or fucking crazy...pat on the back.

I'm not sure if anyone was happier for me, with the news of my pregnancy, than BOY's birthmother, T. I had been with her to several of her check-ups before BOY was born. She and I bonding over the BOY yet to be. I remember so clearly watching the ultrasound as I saw BOY for the first time. E and I overcome. And T smiling at us, going on her gut and faith that she had picked the right parents for her child.

When we told her of my pregnancy, after she laughed... she told me how happy she was that I would get the pregnancy experience. That she wanted that for me. My miracle GIRL...surprising us all. Ready to stake her claim in the world.

It was an easy pregnancy, for the most part. A bit bumpy with morning sickness and taking care of an infant. But, the real challenge was to come... BOY, at not yet 10 months, started walking when I came home from the hospital. Breast feeding GIRL didn't go so well when I had to frequently leap up and soothe BOY who had crashed into yet another piece of furniture.

Yet, despite the bumps and jolts along the way...we are here. In the golden period of 6. A time when they entertain and enthrall me with tales -both real and imaginary. I frequently notice them as they walk away from me. Taking bold, confident steps. Knowing that they have places to go, and will have much to share upon their return.

Somehow they have become little people. Sometimes it is a quick kiss and they are gone...vanishing into their own lives. Away from me...for a time.

Perhaps the greatest gift is their love for each other. Whether it is saving a treat for the other to share later, or a huge hug good-bye where they lift each other off the ground, it is a fullness that blindsides me at times.

Having discovered motherhood at an... elevated age, I find great comfort in their closeness. They will have each other when I am long gone from here.

These are the thoughts I have, when the house is quiet. As I admire the curl of eyelashes resting on their dewy cheeks. My children. Who are 9 months and 27 days apart.

"The Barren Womb" painting by JCK. Painted during a period of great sadness and hopelessness that she would ever become a mother.

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  1. You ARE a warrior woman, JCK!!! And well, maybe fucking crazy, too, but aren't we all, from time to time... Missing you and your beautiful BOY and GIRL, and sending much love...

  2. How very lucky they are to have each other. Enjoy every minute of 6! A wonderful, magical age.

  3. beautiful beautiful post. i love six. six is absolutely wonderful. enjoy.

  4. I'm brother in law and godfather to these golden children. J speaks the truth. We her family and friends enjoy "boy I glad it's not me" laughs while loving and these wonderful little people. I take wicked pleasure at being the younger brother with teenagers. I'm not quite sure how J and E do it but they do quiet well and best of all, I get a kick out it.

  5. Knowing your children take delight in each other is the best gift a mother can have.

  6. I love your paintings... and your writing.


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