Friday, November 9, 2007

NaBloPoMo - Day 9 - Well at least job hunting is entertaining

So. Yeeees. Looking for a job. Big change. All that. When was the last time I wrote about it? A long ass time ago. So, I am now going full steam ahead trying to land an Executive Assistant job. That is what I did in my former life - BK [before kids.] I've been doing quite a bit of networking, joined the organization Linked In, and registered with an agency that does job placement -direct hire. Today was my first interview. My first foray out into the job market after almost 4 years. Quite odd. Yet, good.

I drive up to the interview 15 minutes early and relatively intact of mind, despite being woken up X4 by BOY who had nightmares, but who's counting? Most surpringly my clothes appeared to be unblemished by blobs of food or sticky substances. A good morning overall. After about 20 minutes of B.S.'ing with the male receptionist (perhaps a sign of a progressive employer?) and filling out a job application - even though I had a resume and was practically copying down word for word what was on the resume...who IS the idiot who has you do this repetitive crap? After all that, I was ushered back into the bowels of this place. And I mean bowels. It was dingy, dim and did I say dingy and dim? No windows. None. So, I follow the hiring manager back to her office. She apologizes for the strong food smells. Her office is adjacent to the kitchen. Niiice. We sit at what can only be described as a patio table for two. A patio table. You know - little round table and little round chairs. And she launches into a description of the office/boss/job. It went something like this.

This company is owned by Dr. G and his wife, Miss D, who is a nurse. Your job would be to take care of Dr. G. Occasionally there is "tension" between the two of them. You need to be able to stay out of that. She may ask you to do something, it might be something that interferes with your work. You have to make sure it doesn't interfere with your work with Dr. G. This hospice and home care business is their passion. Dr. G also owns a production company and recently produced a short film with his daughter. (Everyone thinks they are a filmmaker here.) The assistant will get a Blackberry as he communicates primarily by texting and that way you will be able to access emails wherever you are at all times. Dr. G is very generous and gives loans to employees. They will be on payment plans set up by you and they will pay you. You will be responsible for making deposits at the bank. Occasionally, he may have you run to the store and get something for one of his kids. If so, he'll give you a wad of cash [yes, she really said that] and ask you to go get it. He is very active in politics and has been quail hunting. He is a Republican. {There could have been the sound of a coughing fit, but I restrained myself.} He flies on a private jet pretty much everywhere. Well...he may have flown first class this summer..... no it was a private jet. He will need you to be flexible. Two days a week he comes in at 4:30pm and would want to go over things with you at that time. You would have to stay late, but you could work flex hours on those days - coming in later. (Gee, thanks!) So, does this sound like something you'd be interested in?

Well...let me think about it. Let me see if I have this right. What you are looking for is basically a chump who is up for receiving sucker punches as the boss and his wife duke it out. Then you need someone who is very good at accounting, especially watching all those P's & Q's of wads of cash moving through. The use of a Blackberry would be outstanding so that I could receive text messages all through the day and night. He's a staunch Republican, so I would have to stay out of the way during hunting season. And my office is that lovely one that you just showed me with piles of upturned file boxes (probably the fury of the former assistant) and a sliding glass partition so that he can holler at me and no windows. Alrighty then!

Well, at least job hunting is entertaining.


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8 comments:

happygeek said...

Oh come on, that sounds divine! Gotta love the interviews where you are walking away on the outside, but running away screaming on the inside!

slouching mom said...

Hahahahah! What I want to know is whether she could have made that job sound any worse?!

Jennifer Halaszyn said...

Ok, thank you. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

Kind of Crunchy Mama said...

She didn't even try to make it sound appealing.

Kellan said...

"Alrighty then" - so cute. Funny story - I've been gone all weekend so on to your next post - need to catch up. See ya.

liv said...

ooh! maybe you'll be my LinkedIn buddy!

JCK said...

HappyGeek - running away screaming it was - with laughter, luckily. And relief!

SM- Well, not much worse, I don't think. The scary part is that she uttered all of this very matter-of-fact, like it was normal.

Jennifer - thanks for stopping by!

KindofCrunchyMama - appealing...um, noooo! :)But, better this than getting the job and then learning about all the crap!

Kellan - welcome back! Glad you enjoyed it at my expense. heehee

Liv- we'll have to talk about Linked In.

bubandpie said...

*snicker* That is just unreal!

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