I find myself dragging my heels today and trailing a miasma of "woe is me." On days like this, when I can thrust myself up and over the cup of rancid thoughts, I take stock. And this is what I see:
I have a life that I dreamed of for many years. I have a husband, whom I love and who loves me. I have two exquisite children who enrich and touch my life on a daily basis. My plate is full of special friends and a loving extended family. And...I have discovered the varied palette of the blog. Sometimes cheesecake. Sometimes lemon rind. Sometimes the center of an Oreo. Sometimes a struggle.
And today it is a jousting match, just to be me. My feelings are unruly and it is difficult to write. Ever painful to pull those thoughts out, that are clenched so tight. And yet when I try, they are far too clever and slippery-- escaping through my fingers.
I do know this....When all else fails quit your yammering and...rearrange the furniture...
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I love to rearranging the furniture...a clean sweep, a new view...feeling more control.
ReplyDeleteContentment.
I'm going to say something that is really unpopular to say...but...here I go.. boldly where women fear to tread .....I think the fewer choices we have the happier we could be.
We have so many options in our lives now, so few real hardships, that we always wonder if the things we have chosen from all the options might not be the right thing?...what if it was one other choices?...what if we should have chosen two or three of them?...not just one?....maybe we aren't doing enough?
The doubt is enough to drive you bat crazy - the limitless potential leaves you feeling discontent with whatever you have and whatever you have accomplished. And it sucks. We need to give ourselves a break and allow ourselves to just be and have it be good enough. To hell with arbitrary societal expectations.
Mary Alice, you are right. I don't think your p.o.v. is that unpopular with "real" women - just not with the media, et al.
ReplyDeleteToo bad for me, JCK - I still don't have any furniture in our new house. Will looking at an interior decorating book do the trick?
At least you sat down and posted about it -- I just get in a funk and don't even get on line. I'm going to have to try the furniture thing....
ReplyDeleteWriting has a way of working those kinks out, huh?
ReplyDeleteIs it the job thing that has you in a funk, or something else? Whatever it is, I hope you feel better. It's funny how sometimes intellectually we know we have many blessings, but emotionally we feel like the world is against us. But, hey to make you feel better - it was FOUR degrees in my neck of the woods yesterday.
I thoroughly enjoy rearranging the furniture as well. It's a fresh look. The entire family runs for the hills when I start moving things around though...
ReplyDeleteI never rearrange furniture.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I should try it!
The important thing is you're fighting the fight and rearranging the furniture. It sure beats wallowing.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on this one- although I can only rearrange furniture in my mind, since our home is so small that things only fit one way.
ReplyDeleteBut I find myself moping around so much, and then I too realize that I have everything I wanted- a wonderful husband, baby, home, good part-time job, great church... but it's still hard to not struggle with emotions sometimes. Thank goodness we have blogs to vent in!
You know how when a bunch of women work together, after a while they start getting their periods at the same time? Why is that all of us are in the same rut right now? My husband claims I have "contentment issues". We need a sociologist to study the mommy blogisphere.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe just move the couch.
Ugh, I'm to tired to rearrange furniture...What if I just rotate the pillows;)
ReplyDeleteGenuis.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes. Rearranging furniture definitely helps, as do cheesecake and oreos. Some days are just like that. We all have them and it's OK, no matter how "good" you know your life is. Lots of very pretty turns of phrase in this post, JCK!
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, the furniture. Or cleaning out a closet? And chocolate ice cream. Thanks for your honesty.
ReplyDeleteI clean closets when I get in that mood. So, do you like what you've done with the place? :)
ReplyDelete