Friday, June 13, 2008

Conversations with BOY

As we drive by a neighborhood construction site...

BOY: I think GIRL will be a Master of Construction.

ME: A Master of Construction?

BOY: Yes.

ME: What made you think of that, BOY? Why do you think GIRL will be a Master of Construction?

BOY: That's what my mind is telling me.


BOY: Mom, I have to tell you something. It's bad news.

ME: What is it?

BOY: Um.... I don't remember.

[Perhaps he doesn't remember that he has launched his rocket up on the roof again. Or that he's used the dog's water bowl as a foot bath for mud covered feet. Or that he's used the screwdriver and unhinged the back of a chair again.]


BOY wakes up every morning with his hair sticking up all over the back of his head. Think Alfalfa from the Little Rascals. He has several cowlicks and very thick blonde hair.

BOY: Mooom, I've GOT to do something!

ME: BOY, let's put some water on it. [In which we attempt to get the hair to stay down.]

That doesn't work.

BOY: Oh, man....

ME: BOY, let's try some hairspray.

BOY: I hate that stuff! [After attempting the hairspray.]

That doesn't work.

I try brushing it and swooping it off to the side.

BOY: Oh, good LAWD! OH...JESUS!

ME: BOY, we don't say that.

BOY: Mom, it looks RIDICULOUS!

ME: BOY, let's just put you in the shower...

* Picture courtesy of Google Images.

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  1. Okay, this made me laugh out loud:
    "Oh, good LAWD! OH...JESUS! "

    That is hilarious!

    Boy has hair like that. You'd think that a spray bottle of water would do the trick, but it doesn't.

    Hate the "I've got bad news" intro.

    These were funny.

  2. I like that he's going straight to the top in his career--Master!

  3. The difference between BOY and my kids is the line following your, "BOY, we don't say that."

    My kids would have said, "Why not? YOU do it all the time."

    And I would have said, "No, I don't take the Lord's name in vain."

    And they would have said, "Yes, you do. 'God' this and 'Jesus' that."

    And I would have said, "I'm not speaking in vain. I'm praying for divine assistance."

    And they would have said, "Oh, right. What kind of assistance do you expect when you say, 'godDAMMIT.' Would you rather I say that, Mom? Okay, GODDAMMIT! What?? I'm just imitating you."

    And then I would have said, "You know what, Smart-Ass? Your hair looks RIDICULOUS."

  4. Well, I think he got the very first one right! Cos Mommy (girl) constructed him! *wink*

  5. At least he cares that his hair is sticking up. My boys never minded if they looked ridiculous.

  6. Mine has that cowlick problem, too. I think it's adorable. I love the things that can come out of the mouths of small boys.

  7. what a very very interesting and wonderful Boy! I predict he will become a very creative and accomplished adult.

    I love that he thinks his sister will be a master of construction. And perhaps she will! Any architectural tendancies there?

  8. Oh Lawd...theat was funny...I'm cracking up over here.
    Hey, remember, it's OK to say such things as long as you turn them into prayers! "Oh Lawd, help me to get my hair fixed!"
    Blessings, E

  9. I have some bad news.

    Now that's funny.

  10. We into using "for God's sake!" or "oh my God!" lately. So now I tell him it makes me - and God - sad when he says it. On a bad day, I tell him it makes Jesus sad too...

    Suave has this stuff in a green bottle that's sort of a 'no more tangles' equivalent that's perfect for bedhead. Smells apple-y too!

  11. That would be "we're into using."

  12. Oh, how funny - "let's just put you in the shower" - ACK!

    Too funny, J.

    Hope you are having a good weekend - see you soon. Kellan

  13. I kept waiting for you to mention something about BlogHer! I'm excited too. Been looking over the agenda too. Hope we end up attending some of the sessions together - that would be cool. I'm soooooo not good in crowds - really. I will join in because I have to, but it is often out of my confort zone - I want it to be fun and I am constantly telling myself to just look forward to it - relax and have fun! I am going to have fun if it kills me. I am coming in Thur. (I have a standby ticket, so I could be there in the morning or afternoon - not sure yet) and leaving just after check-out on Sunday (right after 12:00). I'm sooo looking forward to this conference and meeting everyone - I hope it's everything I imagine it to be.

    Take care - Kellan

  14. Oh Lordy! That is funny. What a sweetie...and so self-aware! My boys couldn't care less what their hair looks like because when I threaten, "I am just going to let you go with messy hair if you don't get here on the count of 3"...they just stare at me like, WHA? We don't care!

  15. Too funny! My hair (at least lately) often causes me to say similar things.
    Wonder what else his mind is telling him about the future?
    I love that he warned you there was bad news coming, but let's you guess what it could be!


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