Alone... together. For 2 nights, and 3 days

JCK is about to leave on a daredevil adventure. Sky diving? Bungee jumping? Rock climbing? No. It requires logistical ingenuity, a small suitcase, and a husband. JCK is....getting away for the weekend. With her husband.

Alone... together. For 2 nights, and 3 days.

JCK is thrilled and excited and a little nervous... JCK and her husband have not had any extended time ALONE together in almost 7 years. Indeed, they have not been overnight TOGETHER away from their children ever.

JCK's mother was heard to say..."This is a little extreme." Yes, perhaps. But, for a long time, JCK could not imagine ever wanting to be away from her children overnight. To miss kissing those soft cheeks, hearing the daily stories, having arms flung around her at all hours of the day...

Yet, now JCK is ready! More than ready. Past ready... Not sure if she recollects READY.

JCK cannot remember what it was like to have a conversation with her husband uninterrupted by sudden strumming on a guitar, shouts of MOMMY, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST as her son wields his SWAT man costume handcuffs, by the blast of a World War II bugle, or her daughter urgently calling her...from another room. MOMMY, I NEED YOU NOW.

JCK is more than ready to celebrate her anniversary with her husband. 15 years ago today. It is time to recapture that magic. That je ne sais quois...

JCK is prepared. JCK and E are blessed that their Sister-n-law, Aunt P, will be staying with BOY & GIRL for the duration of the weekend. She is THE BEST! Uncle M will be joining in on some of the fun, too. And, friends are pitching in! It takes a small village to deal with a small BOY & a small GIRL.

The refrigerator is stocked. The house is somewhat clean. JCK uses the term loosely.

JCK and her sister-n-law have gone over so many extensive notes, you'd think they were preparing for the return tour of Donny Osmond. There are the food likes/dislikes, the bedtime routines, the favorite things to do, the cautions. The pets...

Aunt P takes it all in calmly. She is the mother of two children herself. Aunt P is not frightened! This is what JCK tells herself...

So, they are off!! JCK and her husband of 15 years. To discover parts unknown...



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This post is dedicated to Aunt P and Uncle M, who were there on our wedding day 15 years ago today, and continue to be there always.

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Perhaps episodes of Thirtysomething could be a tutorial

Remember this? Thirtysomething. I loved this show. I was in my 20s when it came out in 1987. Single and unattached. Yet, I identified with the show. It was a huge hit, more than Marshall Herskovitz and Edward Zwick ever imagined. "What we thought of as esoteric, which meant specific and honest -- specific to a group of people and honest about their lives -- ended up having a universal appeal that we absolutely did not foresee," Herskovitz said.

And then there were the show's bashers who called it whiny and annoying. Perhaps it was, at times. Yet,there isn't anything on television today that delves so deeply into the pysches of men and women, the intimate dance in relationships, and the challenges we have today in our roles. I can't help but think how much more I would relate to it today. Season 1 will be released on DVD in August. Perhaps episodes of Thirtysomething could be a tutorial. I just may add it to my Netflix queue. Maybe I can pick up some pointers...

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The truth is that sustaining a marriage is hard work

Wherever I turn these days, I run into another friend who is experiencing a rough patch in their marriage. Friction at best... talk of separation and hitting the skids...at worst. And sometimes that isn't the worst case. Some couples are just not meant to stay together. And some couples still love each other, but wonder what the hell happened to their partner. Is this the same person I fell in love with?! Who IS this person in my bed?

There comes a time when a couple has been married to each other for a while. A time full of life on the run with young children. And, kisses so fast in the morning you later wonder if your faces actually touched. Conversations started and stopped by the little engines that could, and can, interrupt you at every turn. Until, you stop trying. And you're depleted at the end of your days, so you each take to your corner of the world within the walls of the place you call home. Sometimes connecting in the dark, sometimes not.

Marriage is challenging. Adding children to a marriage is more than doubling the work. It is as if you are suddenly each speaking in another language, your commonality of words a foreign tongue that you are both just learning. Each feels alone with their logged tally of unseen, unheard wounds inflicted by the other. Or so it seems...

Yes, marriage can be like that. If you are lucky, and your partner believes in the long haul and no "easy outs," then you can grasp hold of that and ride in together on that perilous wave. Because, like all good things that last, there are dips and rocky shallows that one must wade through to get to the sandy beach. And the sand feels so....good, but then of course...it gets too hot.

The truth is that sustaining a marriage is hard work. And both partners have to be willing to come together and do the work. No one wants to admit that they've been contributing to the dirty laundry. But, you have to. You have to be a grown-up and be honest. With yourself most of all. And if you can do that, then you're more than half-way there...


****Painting titled: Gratefully Coerced by Charles Gumpert.

I am in love with this man's paintings!!

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Motherscribe wants to interview YOU!

JCK is quite excited! JCK has an idea germinating. An interview series in which she probes you about your life. Topics will include: having balance in one's life, sense of self/loss of self, aging, parenting, juggling outside work and home life, regrets if any, wisdom passed down through generations, sanity saving tips, feminism, marriage, what excites you, and other issues perhaps of a racy nature. (The idea is for the interviewee to feel comfortable, so if there is a question that you do not feel comfortable answering, that is OK, too.) If you'd like to be interviewed, please leave a comment and JCK will be in touch with you.

I am interested in all perspectives, so if you are single and would like to be interviewed, please jump in. Also, I can whip up some questions for the male readers. So, don't be shy...

You do not have to have a blog to be interviewed.

And... you can use a pseudonym, if so inclined.

Equal time for all here at Casa de Motherscribe.

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you do not have an email address enabled & attached to your comments, please go to my profile page and email me directly.




***** Cloud image courtesy of Google Images

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And how he took 10 FRIGGIN' days to call!

When we last left our heroine, JCK, she was seen exiting the parking structure of an IBM building.

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JCK was feeling quite giddy. In fact, she had butterflies in her stomach and her loins appeared to be radiating heat. All caused from a delicious flirtation with an intriguing man named E. Titillation at an IBM sound stage. Who knew?

10 days went by... JCK was feeling a bit CONFUSED. Certainly this E fellow had appeared sincere in wanting to see her again. Hadn't he? He seemed so nice and had quite a cute ass. And tiny freckles on his nose. She had seen them. The freckles. She was saying almost all this, and more, on the phone to her friend SD from L.A. SD was patiently listening as JCK appeared to go on and on about this E character.

Suddenly the call waiting beeped in.

Hold on SD, I'll be right back.

Hello?

Is this J?

Yes.

It's E.K. We met on the IBM industrial shoot?

Oh...hello, JCK said throatily with warmth. Can you hold on just a moment, E? I've got someone on the other line.

Click back over to SD on call waiting.

SD!!!! IT'S HIM! IT'S HIM!!

Poor SD had to get off the line. For the personal safety of her ears.

JCK returned to E on the other line. They chitted and chatted. Perhaps for several minutes. A date was set for dinner. E asked what time JCK would like him to pick her up. JCK, being an independent sort of gal, stated that she would prefer to drive herself. It appeared to throw E off a bit, yet he went with it. They agreed to meet at his apartment, and then go together to the restaurant.

Date night arrived. The weather cooperated. No sleet, snow or rain. JCK wore something feminine. Fishnets were not involved. After all, this was a first date, not an affair.

JCK arrived Chez E. He lived in a quaint two story apartment building. JCK had barely grazed her knuckles across the door, when it was thrust open. E had been waiting. Not really, but this was 15 years ago and JCK's brain is a bit spotty after having children barely 10 months apart and all that.

What JCK does remember is this...

JCK was quite nervous. Imagine her delight when E welcomed her into his apartment, took her coat, and asked her if she'd like a glass of wine. Beautiful music was playing...and not just in her own mind. While he was pouring, JCK noticed that he had prepared a spread... just for her. On the table was a bountiful plate of brie, crackers and red grapes. JCK began to imagine what it would be like to feed E grapes, when she came back to earth and realized he had asked her a question.

Would you like the nickel tour?

Sure. JCK seemed to say that a lot. She was a bit tongue tied around E, but the wine was helping.

E showed her the small kitchen in front and then his bedroom in back. The first thing that JCK noticed, other than the shelves full of books and albums, was the fireplace.

My GOD, he had a bachelor LAIR!

That was where JCK's mind went. E, being the gentleman raised in the south as he was, led her right back out to the wine and cheese area. They nibbled a bit, finished their glass of wine, and left for the restaurant.

E took JCK to a lovely little bistro in an area of Atlanta called Virginia-Highlands. They drank wine, ate some food, and talked. And talked. About many things...politics, JCK's previous life in L.A. and NYC, E's life as an actor in Atlanta, his college years at Carnegie-Mellon, his six months spent living the gypsy actor's life in Europe, and JCK's childhood years in Africa and Beirut, Lebanon. There was a lot to talk about. It flowed quite easily and it wasn't just the wine.

Later, they walked a bit. Talked some more. And decided to get ice cream cones on the corner. All the adult chairs were taken, so E and JCK decided to sit in the small toddler chairs. Luckily for them, their buttocks were youthful and fit quite nicely. They continued to wax eloquently on ...and suddenly... it was quite late. Hours had gone by.

E drove JCK back to his house and walked her to her car. He told her he had had a lovely evening. She did the same. They said goodnight. JCK drove home. There was no carnal knowledge at this time.

That night, JCK had a strange thought. But, it kept pushing its way to the surface and calling to her...

I am going to marry this man.

And on a gloriously beautiful October day in 1995, they did marry.

JCK still likes to tell the story of how they met. And how he took 10 FRIGGIN' days to call!

E likes to tell the story of how he drove off from the IBM parking garage kicking himself because he had gotten the O.K. from JCK to call, yet did not have her telephone number. A minor detail. E did take the matter into his own hands and called her agent, whom he had known for quite some years, and talked him into divulging the much coveted telephone number of JCK.

As to why he took 10 FRIGGIN' days to call? E thought it had only been a few days. As any woman who has been married for several years will tell you ...men have a different sense of time.

This concludes the story of how JCK met E.

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This post is for Jason from The Jason Show who wanted more posts containing the words: Carnal Knowledge ...

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Note: It's NaBloPoMo, what would you like me to write about?

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How JCK met E

Atlanta - Spring of 1993

JCK was in one of her moods. In fact, she was feeling downright blue. A sudden spring snow storm had brought Atlanta to its knees the day before. 4-6" of snow and two snow plows in the city meant a booming bar business. Of which she couldn't partake as she had an audition that afternoon.

The audition was for an IBM industrial training film. Oh, joy! The pay was always good, but the idea of putting a suit on, as well as makeup, and appearing UP, was a little much to bear at this particular moment. Fuck! However, JCK knew that getting out would be good for her and she would feel the better for it. So...she dragged herself into the shower, changed and headed out.

Her agent had paired her up with an actor named E. She had not met him. She had moved back to Atlanta the summer before, from Los Angeles, and she hadn't yet met the full contingent of actors in Atlanta. It was a small community overall, and everyone appeared to know each other.

She arrived early and there were a couple of other actors there. She had a few minutes to look over the copy and then sat to read with one of the actors. The casting assistant called them in, and after a quick run through they were put on tape. As JCK walked back out to the waiting area, she noticed another actor had arrived. He was quite friendly, they chit chatted, wished each other luck and she left. His name was E.

The next day JCK's agent called and told her that she had gotten the role. It was a three day shoot starting the next week and would pay the rent for April. JCK was glad that she had roused her ass and gotten to that audition.

The night before the shoot, JCK found herself feeling quite ill. Her throat was incredibly sore, and she had that bad feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was coming down with something. The next day dawned with a head cold the likes of which JCK had not experienced for some time, perhaps EVER. Her nose appeared its own rain cloud and things were not looking good for JCK. However, she started downing cold medicine and hoped for the best.

When JCK arrived on the set and found her way to wardrobe & makeup, she was pleasantly surprised to see E there. It appeared that although they hadn't read together for the audition, they had been teamed together. Life had just gotten more interesting for JCK.

The film was typical 1990's Industrial Film. Dialogue like an extra dry martini without the buzz. Slightly painful. The Right Way and the Wrong Way of Time Management. JCK and E were playing coworkers. E was the disorganized, bumbling worker. JCK was the slightly anal, highly organized worker. It was...a match made in IBM heaven. The scintillating scenes consisted of various scenarios in which it was made clear to the future viewing audience that JCK's way was THE WAY. However, E had the fun role. JCK was happy to watch him bumble, despite a head cold from hell and feeling like CRAP.

At the end of a very long day, bearable only by E's charisma and JCK's heavy makeup, E asked JCK if she would like to go out for a drink. All JCK felt like doing was going home, crawling into bed, and perhaps reading a trashy romance. Apparently E's charisma, charm and good looks were persuasive, as JCK threw all Kleenex to the wind and met him at a local eatery.

It was there that JCK confessed that she had a monster of a head cold and would be drinking hot tea. E ordered a beer and charmed her by stating that he hadn't even noticed that she had a cold, and how professional was she! that it hadn't interfered in any way with the production. JCK began purring. JCK also wondered if E might be blind. Surely her nose, just to the southern side of Rudolph, and frequent dashes to the bathroom during breaks had been suspicious? She was intrigued.

The next couple of days passed uneventfully. JCK and E had a little flirtation going, which helped pass the time. Then the shoot was over. E caught up with JCK at the parking structure.

Can I call you sometime?

Sure.

They got into their cars and drove away. JCK realized that E had not asked for her telephone number, but she figured he would find her somehow.



This is the end of installment one: How JCK met E

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This post was sparked by JEN from Rants & Raves who wished to know how JCK met E.

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Note: It's NaBloPoMo, what would you like me to write about?



***Photo of The Office courtesy of Google Images.

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Are you confused by men?

Are you ever frustrated by men? Who? Little ol' me?!

Are you ever confused by men? Every friggin' day.

Do you have trouble with “mixed messages?” I have problems just with the messages. I never get them. Never mind the messages being mixed.


Tomorrow evening I am going with a couple of girlfriends to a free seminar called: Making Sense of Men. Uh huh. I told E that I was going to a course that would help me understand men. He just looked at me. And then he started laughing. And hasn't stopped...

These are some of the highlights mentioned in the course:

Men are attracted to women – no news there. But, did you know there are two types of attraction? One type will have a man want to cherish you, adore you, and take care of you. The other type of attraction will have him thinking only of how to get you into bed. In Making Sense of Men you’ll discover that women are the source of both types of attraction.

Just off the top of my head, having been married for almost 13 years, I'm going to jump all over having him think only of how to get me into bed.

Learn how to listen for the words that a man says when he cares about you. In Making Sense of Men you’ll learn that, while men and women might use the same words, the meaning they give to those words can be very different. Phrases that women speak casually can have deep and significant meaning when spoken by a man. Misunderstand the communication and you could miss a critical signal that indicates a shift in your relationship.

Just the other evening, I came home from the store. E was watching a special biography on the two presidential candidates. I came in the door saying that I got salmon at the store and would like to have an early dinner. What I meant was...I got some salmon at the store for you to grill and would like to have an early dinner TONIGHT. What he thought I said was something, something, something about salmon and early dinner someday this week.

I can vouch for the fact that a critical signal was missed. And the relationship shifted. An hour and a half later...I was pissed. He was at a loss.

Tomorrow evening I will return armed with ..."loads of valuable information you can put to use right away"

If not, at least I'll have an evening out with the girls...


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I am told by the source that this qualifies for Painted Maypole's Monday Mission, in which the task was to write a post in the form of a course description. For more fun and creative course descriptions, please check out Painted Maypole herself as she writes a hilarious post today on Continuing Education.

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