Monday, September 8, 2008

Are you confused by men?

Are you ever frustrated by men? Who? Little ol' me?!

Are you ever confused by men? Every friggin' day.

Do you have trouble with “mixed messages?”
I have problems just with the messages. I never get them. Never mind the messages being mixed.

Tomorrow evening I am going with a couple of girlfriends to a free seminar called: Making Sense of Men. Uh huh. I told E that I was going to a course that would help me understand men. He just looked at me. And then he started laughing. And hasn't stopped...

These are some of the highlights mentioned in the course:

Men are attracted to women – no news there. But, did you know there are two types of attraction? One type will have a man want to cherish you, adore you, and take care of you. The other type of attraction will have him thinking only of how to get you into bed. In Making Sense of Men you’ll discover that women are the source of both types of attraction.

Just off the top of my head, having been married for almost 13 years, I'm going to jump all over having him think only of how to get me into bed.

Learn how to listen for the words that a man says when he cares about you. In Making Sense of Men you’ll learn that, while men and women might use the same words, the meaning they give to those words can be very different. Phrases that women speak casually can have deep and significant meaning when spoken by a man. Misunderstand the communication and you could miss a critical signal that indicates a shift in your relationship.

Just the other evening, I came home from the store. E was watching a special biography on the two presidential candidates. I came in the door saying that I got salmon at the store and would like to have an early dinner. What I meant was...I got some salmon at the store for you to grill and would like to have an early dinner TONIGHT. What he thought I said was something, something, something about salmon and early dinner someday this week.

I can vouch for the fact that a critical signal was missed. And the relationship shifted. An hour and a half later...I was pissed. He was at a loss.

Tomorrow evening I will return armed with ..."loads of valuable information you can put to use right away"

If not, at least I'll have an evening out with the girls...


I am told by the source that this qualifies for Painted Maypole's Monday Mission, in which the task was to write a post in the form of a course description. For more fun and creative course descriptions, please check out Painted Maypole herself as she writes a hilarious post today on Continuing Education.

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  1. We expect a full and complete report for those who DIDN'T get a night out with the girls.

    Although I really have few complaints about the Mountain Man. Well, there's that whole "Have you seen my (fill in blank) that I can't find even when it's right in front of me?" thing.
    Which his daughter has inherited.

  2. I'm chartering a private jet tonight to fly in and attend this seminar. Any cost would be worth it if it could help me make sense of this great mystery of life....afterall, I'd love to married someday, understanding may be the first step! LOL!

  3. did you write this for Monday Missions? because it totally fits the bill!

    and be sure to tell us all the secrets you learn!!!

  4. wow. was that subject line a rhetorical question?

  5. My Sam doesn't like it when I insinuate something I want, but really it means I want HIM to do it. He also doesn't like it when I tell him to do things.

    Are you getting my drift?

  6. Where's my comment? I swear I left one already, dangit. Oh well, I said that I would take the class just for the humor factor because that is freaking funny!

  7. I'll be here - taking copious amounts of notes!

  8. Oh JCK, do you know that reading stuff about how people think and mannerism are my passion, right on top of the list!

    And THIS really make my eyes glow...though it isn't something new to me, but I still love to read it in another form of explanation. *wink*

    Maybe that's why, till now, Allan and I haven't had big fights yet...we have disagreements over who should wipe the bums of my boy though but big fights...

  9. I hate to have to disagree with you, J. But clearly the mistake was not in the delivery. It was in the reception. The fact that E was to grill the salmon was completely implied.

    If I come home with swordfish - or for that matter mention grilling as part of the dinner ritual - it is to be inferred that 'the man' will do the grillin'.

    Perhaps we could open this course up to the weaker sex?

  10. Hmmm....I look forward to your report!!

    Meanwhile - What about this type of communication:

    Me: "I think I'd like to have salmon for dinner tonight."

    The Man I Love: "Great! Sounds good!"

    - five minutes pass -

    The Man I Love: "Have you thought about what we're having for dinner?"

    He has a bad habit of not listening but answering as if he is. I told him - look, don't pretend you're listening; I won't be mad if you say "Huh?" or "sorry, I wasn't paying attention." But don't pretend to pay attention and then two minutes later act as if the conversation never occurred!

  11. Have a good time. We are all waiting for the skinny after your conference!

  12. I go to these seminars twice a month. One may look at the seminar of the same group of 7 women and call it more of a drink margaritas and wine and bitch about our husbands while out without them and the kids occassion, whatever.


  13. I think the thing that would solve the whole problem was if they actually listened while were talking. Of course if I talked less it is possible my husband would listen more.

  14. If it tells you how to teach a man to put his socks in the laundry hamper and not the center of the floor, PLEASE let me know. I'd pay god money for the secret ;)

  15. Mine is still in training, so I definitely want to enroll Professor Motherscribe.

  16. Enjoy your night out with the girls!

    My church actually offered something like this (not this course though) a few years ago and I learned that I really don't want to understand my man better. I want him to understand me better!

    I hope you get lots of good tips.

  17. LOL. Ditto Jenn...
    My DH is an interesting subspecies...he is physically incapable of hearing me if he is not looking directly at me and attending fully...just who he is. :(
    Pax, Darlin' have a great time!

  18. Gosh JCK...I'm trying to figure out a way for my DH to NOT keep chasing me into bed. I need a break!

  19. Cherish, adore and take care of me - I want that. How do I get it????? Spill the beans, please.

  20. I am so glad I no longer have a pet man in the house!

    I do think that there are more differences between individual men than there are similarities though. The two men I lived with (not at the same time, perish the thought!) were very very different when it came to communication. But at least with men if you ask them a question you tend to get a short decisive answer. Well, when you ask for the third time at any rate!

    Hope you had an enjoyable evening.

  21. This morning we had half a peach left from Hugo's breakfast and I said, you want some peach, and Jeff (while at computer) said "I'm not available for peach consumption right now". I swear he said that. So I ate the peach. Then he gets up and is all, where's the peach? And I'm all, you didn't want any. And he's all, that's not what I said! I chose my words very carefully! And I'm all, well how about choosing the words YES, IN A MINUTE? And you know, I know he thinks he's right still.

  22. Men are very difficult to understand, although most are simple are very hard to please. You should have more seminars on this subject!


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