Assignment: Christine, can you please make me look good? Not just good, but ...STEAMY. You see, I've had a week of the most AMAZING, kick ass guests on my blog and I've got to come back from vacation with a little sashay in my flat ass. The fishnets are getting a little saggy and I turn 47 this month. Oy! I know, I'm not Jewish, but there's no better expression. So, give it all you got, baby! Oh...and I'm only posting this because most of my readers will never meet me and think it's true because it's the last time I'll be called hot. Well, before menopause hits...
Here she is...the dark...the divine...the always delicious...Flutter....(the check's in the mail, babe!)...my final guest poster. What a week...*sigh*
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Did you know that JCK is hot? Seriously. Like, flaming, gloriously beautifully sexily hot? Because I am here to tell you, friends...she totally is.
She is beautiful and kind and when the F word trips off her dainty tongue, it sounds like glittery prose from a profane fairy. She will lay on you for photos, if you let her. She will drink booze, rifle through free books and smile so large that her beauty blocks the moon, in other words? JCK is the shit.
In the best way possible.
She will pat your knee, laugh hysterically and make you cry in the middle of a dive bar in San Francisco. Although, I imagine the same rules would apply in any city. When I curse? I sound like a trucker with no manners. When she curses? Magical waves of sass filter down, and drown you in a tsunami of fabulous. Her purse is cuter than yours. It just is. And you can't even hate her. BECAUSE SHE IS TOO NICE.
She will look amazing in everything she wears, handle her booze like a pro, and compliment you on your dress. In other words? Everything you think she is, she is....but amplified. In fishnets. How ever did we all get so lucky to have her in the blogosphere?
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Flutter
A survivor, a writer, a knitter, a cook. Sometimes someone who kind of sews, a beginning painter, a diabetic. A singer. An amazon with a predilection for high heels and vamp nail polish. A wearer of red lipstick. A friend, a fiance, a sister, a daughter, a soft place to land. Able to belch like a trucker, write the perfect thank you note and laugh at a fart joke.
Poetic, loving, struggling. Dark and divine.
flutter is a girl named Christine, and she writes here. but be nice, she bites.
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Wow. I knew she was HOT, but you do paint a pretty picture. Now I know why she saved you for last!
ReplyDeleteShe sure can handle a car accident with aplomb--I can vouch for that!
ReplyDeleteNow I wish I'd been able to hang out with her more at BlogHer. Damnitt.
ReplyDeleteJCK and Flutter!
ReplyDeleteMy two favorites ever - love it!
BTW - I gave you both s shout out/ bling over at my joint a few days ago.
This is awesome.
ReplyDeleteYou had me at "She is beautiful and kind and when the F word trips off her dainty tongue."
You have a wonderful way with words my friend!
"glittery prose from a profane fairy"
ReplyDeleteand she handles her booze? No higher compliment was a woman ever paid!
wonderful guest post! you've got a way with words!
Yep! That's pretty much her! Don't think you missed a thing. Have you seen her red boots? Awesome.
ReplyDelete*golf clap*
glittery prose from a profane fairy is brilliant.
ReplyDeleteI have always suspected these things about JCK, but now I will feel even MORE inadequate when I finally get to meet her. (Note the "when" as the voice of optimism.)