Rants and Raves guest posts on Motherscribe

The lovely Jen from Rants and Raves has agreed to guest post on Motherscribe today. Jen is a mom, wife, aspiring writer and nanny. Yes, that is correct. A nanny. I know I make that sound like ...well, like...she's divinely insane, because she is a mother and chooses to watch other people's small children. Her sense of humor is always there, and she's the one you want to hang out with after a looong, It's JackO'Clock!! day.....Enjoy!
*********************

Watching The Olympics Makes Me Feel Like A Shlup

Don't go running for your dictionary. "Shlup" isn't really a word. I made it up when explaining to my husband how I feel when I'm around our friend Rachel. Rachel always looks good. She is always dressed in clothes that flatter her, in the current styles. Her hair always looks good, and her makeup is always flawlessly applied. Think Stacey on What Not to Wear - she even looks a bit like her! To say that I feel "frumpy" around her, just didn't quite say it. "Shlup" means frumpy, but it also means a person who needs to work on themselves in a certain area - like, say fashion or fitness.

Let me start by saying that I don't exercise. I know that I should, and believe me, the desire is there, but the willpower, and the ability is not. I have signed up for various fitness classes in my adult life, and each and every time, I hurt my back, and had to quit the class. The only class that was the exception was when I took water aerobics. Those 60 year old ladies and I - we were fierce! We looked good and we knew it.

Jim and I have really enjoyed watching the Olympics. We taped it, so we didn't watch it as it was happening, but we did watch a little, or sometimes a lot of each event. For some reason, this year, more than any other, I was in awe of it all. The things that those athletes can do is simply extraordinary!

I watched Dara Torres, a 41 year old mother of a toddler, who in my opinion, deserves a medal just for getting her body to look like that at the age of 41, win a silver medal.

I watched Michael Phelps, set record after record, winning more medals than any other athlete in one Olympic game. He swam 17 times over nine days and broke the world record in four of his five individual swims.

I watched as divers jumped off a tower the height of a 3 story building, hitting the water at a speed of 35 mph, head first, again and again.

I sat on my couch, eating chocolate chip cookies, as Constantina Tomescu-Dita ran, and ran, and ran, and kept running long after winning the gold medal. (I was beginning to wonder if she could stop!)

I sat with my jaw hitting the floor as I watched the women's water polo players swim back and forth across the pool again and again, and throw a ball into the net, while treading water, and avoiding being drowned by another player! They did that for 32 minutes! How they don't get a leg cramp and drown I don't know. I think one of those ladies could beat me up with their big toe.

Jim and I sat on our couch, him eating chips, me eating cookies again, watching the girls rhythmic gymnastics event. Did you see what those girls can do with a rope and a hoop?! At one point, I exclaimed through a mouthful of cookies, "Jim, she just touched the back of her head to the heel of her foot! I doubt I can touch my head to my knee!" We both leaned over to try to do just that. Jim groaned, "Ow! That's hard on your back!", and I started to laugh. Then, I was the one in pain. "Oh! Ow!" "What did you do?", Jim asked, also laughing. I sputtered out, while laughing and trying to breathe, "I got a sharp pain in MY BOOB!" Then I laughed until I cried. I shouldn't laugh that hard. I might throw my back out.

	Tweet