All was fine until JCK sat her ass upon the cycle seat.

JCK tries a cycle class…ahem…

There is nothing so delicious as the sheen of sweat upon one’s skin after exercising the body. Or so JCK thought...

JCK arrived to CYCLE class just after everyone had gotten on their cycles. She thought she could just slip in and grab a cycle in the back of the room. She got the last one, at the back. SCORE! All looked good until she noticed that the pedals had buckles on them, and that this might be a bit harder to set up than she had thought. JCK had the mistaken impression that she could just hop right on and all would be well. After all, hadn't she shown up? Resolution #1 hard at work here...

Meanwhile, the cycle instructor was making her way through the room, chatting with the regulars. JCK flagged her over and said that she was NEW to class and obviously needed help. The teacher gave a brief sigh and mentioned that it would helpful if, since she was new, JCK would come to class a few minutes before the class actually began so as to enable the teacher more time to assist. JCK thought this a reasonable request, but noted that the teacher looked like she had never snuck in the back of a workout class. Ever. The instructor adjusted JCK’s seat to the right height and distance from the handlebars. She buckled JCK’s feet to the pedals. A shackled JCK was READY to begin.

All was fine until JCK sat her ass upon the cycle seat. It was THEN that she realized her mistake. You see… JCK’s ass is rather flat and her tailbone low to the rear. Therefore, sitting on a bike seat, any bike seat, unless it is a special SUPER WIDE is excruciatingly uncomfortable. Now, a good part of the cycle class is raising yourself up off the seat and pedaling in a standing/upright position. Alas...the relief allowed upon raising herself to a standing position was short-lived due to the lack of endurance JCK had for severe burning in her legs. Going for the burn is all well and good, but determining which burn was worse – sitting on a seat that felt like someone was sticking a red hot poker between her legs –OR….standing and feeling like her legs were going to burn themselves down to stubs, and she would be flung pellmell over the handlebars, was a definite...draw.

The teacher had good music. JCK gave her credit for that. Which made it just less than outright torture. More like a root canal. Over the microphone said teacher would frequently utter encouraging phrases like…put your comfort level on a 1 to 10 scale with 10 being very hard and 1 being very easy. You don’t want to burn yourself out on 10, but if you’re at a level 1 you might need to question yourself. At this point, JCK was questioning why the HELL she had decided to take the cycle class in the first place.

JCK made it to the last song. Under cover of darkness and to the tune of BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATERS...which seemed, somehow, soooo... apropos, she slipped out of the exercise room. Most probably never to return...

JCK did spend the rest of the day with a bit of a swagger to her step. After all, she DID show up. And, she endured. But, spinning class....well, JCK thinks it best to punt, and show up for something else. After going through childbirth, S&M just doesn't hold much...sway.


*****Photo most decidedly NOT JCK. Much thanks to Google Images.

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