Monday, January 14, 2008

GIRL's first episode of hurt feelings

Mommy, I don't WANNA go to school TODAY. [This from my GIRL who loves school?]

Well, GIRL, it is a school day. It's a work day for me and for Daddy and a school day for you and BOY.

But, I don't WANNA go to school. I want to STAY HOME with you!

I'm sorry, sweetie, but it IS a school day. Sometimes we don't want to go to school and then you get there and you see your friends and get to paint, play outside and have fun.

We don't paint anymore.

The easel isn't in your class?


Well, there is an easel outside, right?


O.K., guys - BOY, GIRL let's get in the car.

NO, MOMMY, I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL! - GIRL bursts into tears and I pick her up.

Put me DOWN! I want to walk by myself! - I comply.

I want Mommy! I WANT MOMMY! - I pick her up and we have a heart to heart.

GIRL, can you talk to me?

I don't want to talk.

Are you worried about something?

Alice hurt my feelings. She and Jeremy wouldn't let me play with them. She said I couldn't dig in the dirt with them.

By this time HUGE tears were rolling down my little GIRL's face. She was heartbroken. And I was crushed for her. It is so very painful to get your feelings hurt from a special friend who won't play with you. I remember that well.

GIRL, I'm so sorry that happened. I know it hurt your feelings. Did you tell Alice that it hurt your feelings?


Well, next time you could tell her that. You can say, Alice that really hurt my feelings. I wanted to play with you.


And you can also talk to your teachers. Your teachers are your friends and they can also help you with your words. You also have lots of other friends you can play with if Alice is not being nice, right?


Today is a new day. I bet you won't get your feelings hurt today. And your friends will be SO happy to see you! How are you feeling now?


It is so great that you talked to me about this, GIRL. I'm really proud of you.

And so we got in the minivan and went to school. A little late, but one little GIRL was relieved of her worries. At least for today. It makes my heart ache that she got her feelings hurt. But, life is like that. And hopefully, I can teach her to pick herself up and go back and try again. And that she can empower herself by expressing her feelings.

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  1. You are such a good Mommy! I love how you handled that. It kills me that that kind of heartbreak is happening so early.

  2. Oh man, when I taught preschool I was amazed at how many of these things I had to referee on a daily basis! I think that kids that age feel the need to be in control of their enviroment in some way, any way, and choosing who they will and won't play with is how it manifests itself. I once told a little girl, "If you act like you are having a great time over here, I bet they will come over here and want to play with you!" She was amazed when it worked, and I felt like a hero.

  3. being a Girl + school chums = lots of hurt feelings

    So glad she has you to pick up the pieces.

  4. oof! you are a good mom, you know. sometimes i wish i would get a little better at it!

  5. Poor girl...I hope the day got brighter.

  6. Ahh Girl - I am sorry to say that picking yourself and going on with things will be the most important life skill EVER.

  7. Fruit Bat recently went through this. It's soooo hard.

    Angie (

  8. Oh, the poor little Sweetie! I hope she didn't get her feelings hurt again! I hate when that happens to our little babies!

    Have you heard from Lyndsay? Have a good day. Kellan

  9. It is so heartrending when this type of thing happens to our babies! You did a good job!

  10. Oh, I am SO not looking forward to this happening. Hopefully I will handle it as well as you did.

  11. Ohhh...I just wanna give her a hug. Poor baby.

  12. I agree with Lisa Milton's equation. Poor girl! She is very lucky to have a mommy who is so patient, understanding, and wise!

  13. I just had a similar conversation with Stink. It's heartbreaking, but in a way, that's what preschool is for - to negotiate the myriad of emotions/people we'll be dealing with for the rest of our lives. We can't keep our kids from getting hurt feelings, but we can show them how to handle it, right? (Easier said than done. But I tell myself that to keep from falling apart.)

  14. I still remember those days. I'm already afraid of this happening!

  15. it starts way too early, but I am glad she handled it so well.


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