I was SUCH a good mother today. I was. I was. I was! Tonight I served BOY & GIRL frozen peas with PB&J sandwiches for dinner. Niiice. I also let BOY romp through the mud in the back yard. Oh? It didn't rain. No. BOY just had the water hose on for a while...aimed at some dirt. Water + Dirt = MUD. Got it? Knew you would. Perfect recipe for a skin tonic, apparently, because he smeared it on his limbs and hair. And nice mother that I am, I let him take 2, COUNT 'EM, 2 baths! BOY also had the ingenious idea of using Soul man's leash to tether his trike to the back door. It was brilliant, I tell you! I almost lost 1/2 of my teeth tripping over it, but HEY...the kid's creative. And GIRL? She got to ride around in the umbrella stroller a la the QUEEN, pushed in all of her royal glory by BOY. Since I allow her to select her own wardrobe most of the time, she does. Select. And select and select. She probably changes ....OH, about 4-5 times a day. What's a little laundry between family members? And she is a decorating genius! Genius, I say. She actually drops bits of her discarded clothing everywhere! Isn't that a delight? Yes, she'll leave bits of wardrobe in every room. Inspired. Absolutely inspired. Because she is so adorable, as a lunchtime bonus, upon her insistence, I gave her a nutritious serving of cottage cheese. Well, if you can call one bite nutritious. The rest ended up smeared on the hardwood floor. No worries! She didn't want me to be concerned that she might have to use her little hands to clean it up. Nope. She left it. ALL FOR ME! Oh, yeah! Oh, wait...I almost forgot. I encouraged them to do an art project. They did. Sure enough! BOY decided to see what it would be like to pour Elmer's glue all over their little wooden table and when he got bored with that he poured it on the comforter in the playroom. Such a plucky fellow. I am SO proud of these free spirited children. I mean, not to be snide, but some children are just so stationary ordinary. So well meaning. So having a conscience. Poor sots! My kids ... you just never know what is coming next. And I am never bored. Tired, but never bored. And. And. And!! I almost forgot the best part. The way they carry on with each other...words flying back and forth. Why, it is just razor sharp banter. GIRL's fishwife delicate voice woo's BOY completely, especially by supper time - when they are at their end-of-the-day best. He just sits in silent appreciation of her. Which increases her need to use her most lovely fishwife voice again and again and again. And he grows more silent in appreciation. Until they just BURST into shrieks and go in search of me. Such children! The product of a good mother.
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It was the art project that did you in.
ReplyDeleteBut my day was worse than yours. I'm too tired to retype the whole thing in all its gruesome glory, but let's just say it involved a teenage boy jumping out of a moving vehicle and flicking off his mother when she told him to get back in so he could see a doctor, then running away to a friend's house, then telling everyone at the high school that he FELL out accidentally and his mother just DROVE OFF and left him bleeding at the side of the road. And do you think 1200 high school students recognize any little implausibilities in that story? Nope.
You'll have to excuse me now: I need to clean up for the social worker's visit sometime in the next few days...
i have had all of those experiences SO. MANY. TIMES. but that is because our children are exceptional, creative geniuses.
ReplyDeleteloved this post.
Welcome to the good mother club. It's fun but exhausting!
ReplyDeleteHmm, how did my kids end up at your house today. I am so sorry for the mess they left. I wonder how they had time for that with the disaster they left here. weird.
ReplyDeleteYou write about MY life with such insight! Our house is just like this. Free-spirits abound in our house, too. *cough*
ReplyDeleteIt HAS to be Jack O'Clock now, no?
Sooo, how does one get glue out of the comforter? (I will need to know this someday!)
ReplyDeleteHope tomorrow is a little more sunny!
After reading that post, I need a nap ;)
ReplyDeleteHope you got a good rest tonight.
I laughed right out loud at "poor sots"!!
ReplyDeleteYes! The across the table banter is so target. Especially after our dinner out tonight. My husband and I wonder why noone has devised tables with sound proof glass dividers. We could all eat together without having to listen to tween lecturing his younger siblings: "Once you get to middle school? Kids don't rat on each other anymore. It's just not cool." Or, "Mom, if your blog says artificial sweetners are bad for you, why are you drinking diet-pepsi? Doesn't that make you a hypocrite?" grrrrrrr.
ReplyDeleteWow. I'm...wow. Uh, are you sure you weren't at my house? Oh, wait you couldn't have been, because the dogs clean up the floor when the food gets dumped out.
ReplyDeleteLove the tryke teather. That sounds like something that happens here on a regular basis. And the two baths...yep!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you might need an early bedtime.
At least your kids don't poop in the bath......
ReplyDeleteUh-oh. I consider PB&J with frozen peas a really good dinner.
ReplyDeleteHow can you possibly know you're doing a bad job if you don't have an older sister letting you know constantly with veiled comments and teaching by example?
ReplyDeleteSigh. Somehow they'll turn out just fine. You'll just be nuts.
Children are so much fun! And their creativity is just inspiring sometimes. Mine are such inventive cleaner that I must move the living room furniture to the middle of the room to locate the stuff they should have put away somewhere other than under it. You know, the petrified partial sandwich or the rotting apple cores or my favorite, the baby bottle with cheese forming in it. :)
ReplyDelete