I think I am a selfish FREAK! Am I losing credit with God?

I was going to the loo yesterday after the church service (just love saying LOO, especially with a really, really bad British accent) and all of a sudden was hit with the realization that I thought nothing of using the handicapped bathroom. Now to be fair, the other two stalls were full and no one was waiting behind me. But, is it fair? Should I have waited until someone had exited the other stalls and left the handicapped bathroom for someone else? Does this make me one of those selfish people who park in a handicapped spot? Is it even worse to use a handicapped stall at church? I think I'm in deep trouble...

I'm also in trouble with my mom because once again I am calling the "powder room" a bathroom and everyone knows that a bathroom has to have a bath in it to be a bathroom and a place with toilets and sinks is a powder room or a rest room. But, honestly there ain't too much powdering going on in the powder room these days or much rest either. NO, either it is a quick in and out by myself... I've got 30 seconds to get back to the kids before they start a coup d'etat...or it is a lengthy visit to the stall with a child or two in tow in which nothing is ever done quickly and you can audibly hear the sighs of the women waiting for you outside the stall.

Ever since I had Boy it has become 2ND nature for me to go into the handicapped stall. Everywhere. This IS True Confessions. Costco, Target... yes, two of my favorite stores! Parks, rest stops, drug stores, airports, grocery stores, must I go on? Almost always I have either Boy or Girl or both with me, but...maybe I should rethink this. I don't really think of it as a handicapped stall. I think of it as a rather large stall that can accommodate myself, an additional child or two and in the past even a double stroller - thank GOD those days are over! Sold one double stroller, the other one was stolen outside of a Rite Aid, as Girl continually reminds me over and over again. Is that where? Is that where the black stroller was STOLEN? She probably thinks strollers are stolen left and right. Yes, Girl, it is a wild world, where strollers are TARGETS!

OK, I digress. It was only brought to my attention that I was in a handicapped stall because the toilet seat was elevated about a foot higher than usual. It took me a moment to realize it wasn't a way of getting closer to GOD. I felt GUILT immediately. Oh, Jesus, obviously, this stall is meant for someone that needs help and although I frequently need help, being helped in the restroom is not something I need help with. Yet. Although the way things are going I expect that could change overnight. Will I get ticketed for this? Did I miss the hand-out on "Powder Room" etiquette? Am I losing credit with God? I don't need any more negative points. I got so worked up about it that I fully expected a bad ass undercover cop would pounce on me as soon as I exited the stall. Nope. But, I did notice the woman waiting couldn't or wouldn't look me in the eye. My GOD, I think I am a selfish FREAK!

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