Making difficult decisions

I'm having to make some really difficult decisions. It looks like I will have to go back to work full-time and after being at home for almost 4 years, it is both gut wrenching and challenging to make that choice. I have had an amazing time at home. Today Girl invited me over to "sing songs with me & then play blocks." She sat me down in a special little chair and told me to sing along with her. She then made up several songs based on Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.

Twinkle, twinkle little bird
Fly away, fly away until there were 3.

First there was Dora sitting in a tree
Dora flew off and then there were 3.

I memorized her little face, her joyous abandon to the creation of the words, her sparkling eyes, the way her hair dips over an eye. I was so aware of the time slipping by and soon I will be in an office and she will be doing these things with someone else. But, I've been so fortunate to have all this time with Boy & Girl. Boy adores school and is already 3 full days a week, so I hope that Girl will embrace it as well. In my heart of hearts I know that Girl will make the adjustment easier than I will. I'm still growing and learning. Boy will adjust to the two more days as if he was born to it! My little explorer, my Boy, such an amazing spirit of curiousity and openess to the world. Now, I just need to work on myself...

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