What is it about Tequila? An invitation to naughtiness. You're innocently standing there sipping your margarita, and suddenly...it's like you want to throw someone down in the grass and sniff their armpits. What is it? Spring? Pheromones? Is anyone noticing that your lower half is not rated G? It's on fire, but OH WHOOPS... Remember, you are at a birthday party for preschoolers. Oh, YES. Is this fair? Oh, NO. The only quickie you're gonna get is watching your son polish off a cupcake. No other delights for you, LADY. Not at this party. Well, there is the bounce house, but somehow...that is probably not what they had in mind. Too bad. And then... you also remember that you are not that sexy, younger version of yourself that you used to be, THAT younger self that spent all that time beating herself up for not being this, not being THAT. You'd take THAT right now, DAMMIT! You'd take THAT self and raise it 3, perhaps an acrobatic maneuver on the kitchen counter or even on the playroom rug. Train table...no, not exactly stable, and your child's life would never be the same if you took out the Island of Sodor. That younger self had some good rounded curves back then. Shit. What a waste of time. Margarita? No, I think I'll stick to juicy juice, thanks.