Wednesday, April 23, 2008

I put on my fishnets (size womanly) and do a little prancing

This writing at night thing is just not working for me. This is the time that I want to be in bed with a good book or spending time with E. Sitting here at the computer after 10pm is basically a losing proposition. I'm either too tired to write or too tired to write.


I have this, this... fantasy. Oh, nooo... not AGAIN, you say? Well, it's a different kind of fantasy -one not involving the sniffing of armpits or odes to luscious bottoms. It has to do with scheduling and having TIME. Ooh...I'm getting all warm and tingly. I'll just let my mind wander. Let's see...how would I plan my weekday if I could? The implications are just too, too delicious. So, this is how my fantasy goes...

Get up early, perhaps 4ish. I have had a restful, uninterruped night's sleep. Fix a pot of strong tea, plenty of sugar and cream. I sit in the quiet of a still house and write my blog post for the day. Blog post done. Check.

Children wake up. They remark on my morning loveliness and lack of pillow smoodge dents on face. We do the get dressed/breakfast/free time thing. If it is a school day, we're out the door by 8am. I'm so on top of things, having packed their lunches the night before.

After dropping off the kids at school, I go do a yoga class at the Y where we've been paying membership dues for years... After I get all Asana and stuff, I admire my muscle tone in the mirror. A fellow yogi compliments me on my trim ankles. I glow with vitality and verve.

Get home and work for 2 hours in which I earn $30, but I feel good because I'm actually making the cash.

Pick up kids, come home and play.

Later...mandatory quiet time for 2 hours! Kids whisper and admire each other's skills in sharing. Since they have time, they clean up all the toys scattered throughout the house. I blow kisses to them from the office as I catch up on my blog reading.

Later...more playtime with kids, who are rested and refreshed from quiet time.

Fix an incredibly delicious dinner. E is stunned. Menu planned in advance.

Kids get bathed & in PJ's. We read stories. They go to bed. By themselves. And sleep all through the night.

I make their lunch. Again! It is so easy. So healthy. I am SO proud.

It is now 8:15pm. I check my emails a final time and then turn my back on the computer by 8:30pm. And I do not return to the computer that evening.

I put on my fishnets (size womanly) and do a little prancing. E awakens from CNN, C-SPAN, etc., quite TAKEN with this brazen, very organized which is oh, so sexy, wife. We proceed with carnal knowledge.

Afterwards ...I contentedly prop myself up on pillows and READ [why has that become a 4 letter word!?] until I fall asleep... knowing that I am INCREDIBLE. And most importantly, that TIME IS MY FRIEND.

The End

Author's note: You will notice that there was no housework involved in this fantasy. I have a maid. You may know him as Sawyer. I call him...........James. You know, Artistic License and all.

Photo credit: LOST on ABC.


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29 comments:

Jennifer H said...

Please don't pinch me awake from that dream! Can you imagine? I would love just one day like that, let alone a succession of them.

Domestically Challenged said...

Oh be a sport and share the cleaner with me - yum!

Reluctant Blogger said...

haha yeah in our dreams eh?

Sober Briquette said...

I know, and he cooks, too.

Kellan said...

Ideal!! Especially James - Ideal!!

Have a good day and you might want to WAKE UP!!

See ya - Kellan

HRH said...

*highlight* Cut. Paste.

Elizabeth said...

Perfect day, absolutely perfect.
Hope you have a nice day today...even though you had to wake up to do it.
Peace, EJT

Jen said...

What a wonderful fantasy! But, with Sawyer dusting and bending over to scrub the floors, I would find it difficult to get much accomplished. I think I would let Jack do the cleaning, and Sawyer could cook me dinner...with his shirt off of course. That way, after dinner, I would totally be ready for "dessert".

A Mom Two Boys said...

I'm with Jen. Sawyer definitely needs to do something with his shirt off. I say he does yard work, Jack cooks and you get M*rry M*aids or someone to clean your house. They'd probably do a better job anyway!

Janet said...

Lately my fantasies are pretty simple. Sleeping uninterrupted for 8 or even 6 hours. And children who can play together for more than 5 minutes without one of them being reduced to tears.
My full day fantasies involve being completely alone in the house so I can do some of my projects.

Mrs. G. said...

I putting in an order for 365 of these days!

Angie said...

Fantasies - why are they so unattainable? Seriously.

On another note, I find when I blog at night I end up spending WAY more time here than I thought I would. I also find I do not spend any good time with my hubby. I have not been blogging as much. It is supposed to rain here the next couple days. That should free some time.

KEEP BELIEVING

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

When he's done at your house, can he come to mine?

Kalynne Pudner said...

Wait a minute! Where was Jack O'Clock? Sine qua non dies perfectum. (Translated: No whiskey means so NOT a perfect day.)

I saw this on my reader today, and thought it was you, posting on the above:
http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/authors/the_longawaited_return_of_jack_oconnell_83119.asp?c=rss

Man, was I disappointed. Especially since the guy doesn't even look like your maid.

Rima said...

That sounds absolutely divine. Except maybe the rising at four. I might sleep in until six or so.

liv said...

order me up a Sawyer. I'll call him Jake. Nevermind. Just order me up a Gyllenhaal.

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

I'm loving your maid! He's a stud. And, housework is a dirty word. Who needs it. I wish you luck. Sounds heavenly!

flutter said...

how do I get me some of THAT?

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

I was fantasizing today about just being able to lie down for a short nap in the middle of the day when I need one. No more dragging myself through the afternoon feeling half-alive...

Oh, well.

Lisa Milton said...

You speak my language...now go wash up and step away from the computer because James is calling your name.

He's back...

g said...

Um, can I have one of those?

I had a "vacation" from work today because I went to another employer and served on a personnel ratings panel. They served us fruit and danish! We interviewed 10 people. I actually found it "fun"! Is that pathetic, or what?

phd in yogurtry said...

You know what they say about fantasies, don't try them for real. The fantasy, in real life, is nowhere near as good as you imagine it could be, it gets all mucked up. And then where are you?

Ok, I'll shut up now and enjoy the fantasy. Which is superb!

Nora Bee said...

I haven't been here in awhile, your new look is lovely! And nice fantasy, I love the pot of tea part. Yum.

stephanie said...

Your fantasy is divine (except the yoga/exercise part, but that's just the sedentary slob that is me talking). UNLESS we can work out Sawyer as instructor...hmmmm.

Nicely written.

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

YOu mean your days don't always look like this? Mine do. Every single one. Though I would like to um... borrow James for a bit.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

That pretty much nails it. Except I would get up at 5 instead of 4. And I'd replace the fishnets with crotchless panties. Because I'm a ho-bag.

Lisa said...

How on earth did I miss this? Please dream my dreams for me ;)

Jason said...

Oh my god, J, you are funny.

Purple Teacup said...

Hello, if there is tea you know I am jiggy with it.

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