Saturday, December 29, 2007

Nothing worse for a woman than feeling fat AND hairy

I've had an important, earth shaking epiphany... and I say that there is nothing, nothing worse for a woman than feeling fat AND hairy. One is not a good feeling. Two is just plain let's go into the kitchen and eat a bunch of chocolate. Oh, can't do THAT. That makes me fatTER. The hairy part is just plain ...well, truth be told I think my legs are too tired and heavy to be lifted up, balanced on the shower stall wall and take a razor to....cut down the wild forest of BeLOVEzhskaya, and believe you me - LOVE has nothing to do with it. In fact, this is all a bit much for me to handle today. I think I'm going to go lie down, contemplate the upcoming New Year and airlift my Sequoia trunks up on a pillow. Maybe I could retrain my mind to think of them as a national treasure.


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15 comments:

Mrs. G. said...

I'm thinking you need a nap and some Nair...and a cabana boy to spread it on and wipe it off. Sound good?

Professor J said...

I think a nap, some nair, a cabana boy, and a fruity drink.

Kellan said...

A national treasure - ACK!! That is pretty darned tired - get some rest. See you soon. Kellan

Jen said...

Aw Crap! I got everyone who read my last post self obsessing, didn't I? Okay, now repeat after me.."I am young and beautiful and everyone wants me". And, hey, a fruity drink never hurt anyone, either.

liv said...

Honey, you will feel better if you go de-Lassie-fy yourself ASAP. I swear. Have a diet coke and bourbon--carb free and calming.

slouching mom said...

heh. loved this, as i'm overdue for shaving as well...

meh. it's winter.

happygeek said...

Up here, we leave the hair on as long as possible, it's added warmth:)

JCK said...

Mrs. G - I like your cabana boy way of thinking.

Professor J - a drink! a drink!

Kellan - I feel better since I've read all of your posts.

Jen - Damn you! Just kidding. ;)

Liv - SO true. So true. Feel better already! Can't do the diet coke, but I'm all over the low carbs after this season.

SM - I do get a bit lazy in the cooler months when I know I'm not going to the beach or flashing bare legs.

Happy Geek - I KNEW I liked you for your Canadian sensibilities!

HRH said...

I think you are on to something here!

Shandy said...

Awesome! That is some growth! Truly, you are so beautiful and NOT FAT so feel free to sloth around a bit, but I'll be here to remind you that it's all in the head! However, I so know how it feels to have the constant hint of butter on your lips from all the Christmas cookies eaten. Sigh. I'm on to broccoli tomorrow.

MamaGeek said...

Hi JCK, it's me (WFM), I just changed my profile name. I hope you and your fam had an awesome Christmas.

I so couldn't agree more with you on this post. Yet nair scares me (TO DEATH). Perhaps, fat, hairy and hungry might be just a bit worse.... :)

Nora Bee said...

Love the photo. And know the feeling. This too shall pass! :-)

Mary Alice said...

Some days are just like that. Leave the kids with the hub. Go to a salon and have them blow your hair out (yeah on your head) Sleek and bouncy, a big pick me up. Buy a new lipstick and sunglasses...all will be right with the world and you can hide the rest under jeans and a great black Tee. Tres Chic even if you are sasquach under it all :-)

Shellie said...

The national treasure look is IN! (Somewhere)

Countess said...

Don't forget pasty. Fat, hairy, and pasty white. I got the caspar-like skin tone from Mom's side, and the brown hair from Daddy's side. Not a good combination. But you know, I stop shaving when I put the shorts away for the winter. And the diet starts as soon as the Christmas cookies are gone. signed, the countess formerly known as Janet

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